What to do if you know someone self-harming?

Ok, background:
2 weeks ago my girlsfriends grandma died and she was understadanble very depressed and down. The week after that the dog she had had for most of her life died, so it was a pretty *****ed up week. That was a week ago.
I saw her yesterday and I noticed marks on her stomach that appeared to have scratches from what looked like a razor blade, and she tried to hide them from me.
Do I talk to her about it or do I wait for her to talk to me? I dont know what to do...

Reply 1

spacedonkey

2

Anonymous

Ok, background:
2 weeks ago my girlsfriends grandma died and she was understadanble very depressed and down. The week after that the dog she had had for most of her life died, so it was a pretty *****ed up week. That was a week ago.
I saw her yesterday and I noticed marks on her stomach that appeared to have scratches from what looked like a razor blade, and she tried to hide them from me.
Do I talk to her about it or do I wait for her to talk to me? I dont know what to do...

omg the poor girl :frown:

I'm sure there'll be others along with some good advice, but in the meantime try not to panic - self-harm doesn't mean she is suicidal, it's the way she is dealing with her pain inside. I don't know if confronting her re: the self-harm would be the right thing to do, but certainly offering her emotional support and giving her every opportunity to talk to you would be a good start (and I'm sure you're already doing that).

She might benefit from bereavement counselling of some sort - Cruse is a charity which offers this (http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/).

Here's a link to a site with advice on supporting someone who self-harms:
http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/supportingaselfharmer

Good luck x

Reply 2

MRNO

11

Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity, ranging from mild irritation to violent rage. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by changes in the body, including increased adrenaline levels and faster heartbeat.

If you feel your anger is out of control, and is affecting your relationships and quality of life, you may benefit from addressing the way in which you handle your angry feelings.

Anger can be very distructive.

Reply 3

Phantom Phoenix

13

princess amy

erm.........ask her if shes alright. dont confront her blatantly. jus say that ur there for her......if she eva wants to tlk

I agree, if you talk to her directly she'll probably get really defensive and upset. Chances are she will open up to you if you let her do it in her own time - and it's important that she knows you won't judge her for doing it. A lot of self-harmers are torn between wanting to ask for help and worrying that people will either over-react or treat them as an attention-seeker. Basically, just be as supportive as you can until she's ready to talk about it (and try not to look obviously for more marks on her body when you're with her; the bigger a deal that's made of it, the harder it'll be to discuss it).

Hope she's okay soon :smile:

Reply 4

bedbug

14

I'd just try to be as sensitive as I could with her. I wouldn't directly address the issue, just be there for her to talk to. Make sure she knows you're there for her and will be ready to talk whenever she wants to.

What to do if you know someone self-harming?

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