The Student Room Group

is it rude to ...?

well guys basically..there was this one time where i met a very reallly close friend (from school) outside of school for the first time. (So it felt a little weird since we were realllly good friends but never have met outside of school.) So we just hang out at the shops, went into starbucks then to the cinema..

all the time, i thought we're just friends hanging out..until he wanted to pay for my drink at starbucks and pay for the cinema ticket..does this suggest he wanted this to be a date or is it just a nice gesture?

where does one draw the line between whats a date and whats just a friendly outing?

..well at the time i thought if the guy pays then its a date, and i didnt want this to be a date, so i asked him NOT to pay for me..and i was quite stubborn at the time as well - is that rude ? :frown:

Reply 1

You should of just let him pay, probably just being polite..

Reply 2

I probably wouln't have felt comfortable with him paying either. He shouldn't be seriously offended though:smile: .
its always good to go dutch on a friendly outing - else both guy and gal will start to misunderstand -

like might be doing now...
(personally, i pay when i take a gal on friendlies....call it pride/prestige issue??

Reply 4

I would have tried to stop him paying but if he had insisted then I would have paid for something else later on, ie popcorn at the cinema, etc.

In the end, he's just trying to be nice by offering to pay, but you don't want him to get the wrong idea.

Reply 5

I would have not let him pay, I’m not poor :rolleyes: (jk)

Reply 6

If it got to a kind of stand off, I'd probably think you were a bit insane. It's probably put him off any romantic ideas if he did have any.

Reply 7

some of my guy friends pay for things even when we are just hanging out.. so it's not really like its a date.. and they dont listen to me when i ask them to let me pay for my things.. soo... i guess its alright..

Reply 8

Well, it is slightly rude to refuse something when offered, but that depends on how formal you're being. I'm assuming you didn't look at him with disgust and hurl faeces at him when he offered so he probably wasn't offended. I let people buy me stuff if they offer but that's because I'm tight.

And it's a date if he tried to put anything in you.

Reply 9

Depends how rich he is to be honest.
If he has like NOOOO money and he's going out of his way to pay for you (like going bankrupt) then yea he probably likes you.
If he wipes his arse on £20 notes however, I think he's just being friendly.

Reply 10


Lots of lads like to pay for women, its one good thing about them =p x If he hasnt given you any reason to think you're anything more than friends, next time he offers just accpet, never turn free outings down!

Reply 11

Me and this guy went to KFC with another girl mate.. and i was at the till (im a girl btw) and i ordered stuff for me and my girl mate.. but the guy just stood behind us as if he was waiting for us to pay or something!!!!! I got really annoyed cos i thought you know, he should at least offer to pay or something instead of standing behind me like a fool.. grrr..

Reply 12

ChemistBoy
If it got to a kind of stand off, I'd probably think you were a bit insane. It's probably put him off any romantic ideas if he did have any.



i was stubborn in saying "hey ur not gonna pay for me!" but i did say it in a jokey ish way. (hence friendly outing)

its just i really didnt want him to pay for me because the relationship was slightly weird between the two of us, we were realllly close friends but on a verge of being something more than just friends...but i didnt want a relatioship so thats why i was stubborn..to ensure he didnt get the wrong idea..

so where do we draw the line between whats a date and whats just a friendly outing? does a date have to be (more) formal? sorry guys im just confused!

Reply 13

Go out with me :p: