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Can a party boy/quiet girl relationship work?

I was chatting with one of my uni mates today (she's the quiet girl!) about this bloke she is really into at the moment. They get along well tho it's early days but she's reluctant to make any effort as he is a total party boy and that's just not her idea of a good time. I was being diplomatic with the "opposites attract" routine but it did make me wonder. On a "personal" level they get along, have stuff in common, have a similar sense of humour and he certainly looks like he's well into her. But she said his idea of a good night is partying til 4am whereas she's more of a pub girl. (student life has a lot of alcohol in it so don't flame me for that lol). He's a try anything once kind of guy whereas she is quite reserved (lovely girl though - and they make a cute couple!)

I asked if she'd spoken to him about it and she said no so we're unsure whether it bothers him that they're so different. I've given her my advice, any other words of wisdom? We're all going out together tonight :biggrin:

Reply 1

JadedHippy

11

I'm sorry, when I read the post I had a mental image in my head of the girl saying "I'm sorry, it just wouldn't work, our drinking styles are just too different" :redface:

*Jaded

Reply 2

balloon_parade

14

May aswell give it a go, they seem into each other and who knows. Will never know if they don't try though, and if it didnt work its not like they would bump into each other on a night out!

Reply 3

db

17

I don't really think so, even as far as friendships go. I would probably be classified as a 'party boy' and have maybe one friend who is quiet. Then again, it probably depends on each person, meh who knows?

Reply 4

Tarts_n_Vicars

OP

13

lol I'll email that to her as a potential break up line....better than "it's not you, it's me" :biggrin:

Reply 5

Né Stig

15

Most definitely.

Party boy and quiet girl definitely works. (As by me)

Party girl and quiet boy doesn't work.

I love quiet girls, and the best part is bringing them out of their shell :biggrin:

Reply 6

high priestess fnord

9

yeah dont see why not. its not like they will spend all their time together. he can still have his nights out and she can have hers.

Reply 7

db

17

*has to meet with Tarts_n_Vicars* :biggrin:

Reply 8

Hana_87

16

yeah it can work, depending on how mad he actually is :biggrin:

Reply 9

ESBay

8

There's bound to be some chick flick which has this exact plot.

Reply 10

Sophdoph

1

I think it'll depend on how she is likely to cope with him coming in at 4am pissed regularly, or drunken phone calls at 2.30 when he can't get home etc. No reason why it can't work but they'll have to compromise their usual lifestyles maybe to spend time with each other? It's good they'll have their own space though in terms of enjoying different evening activities.

Reply 11

Tarts_n_Vicars

OP

13

devilbunny

*has to meet with Tarts_n_Vicars* :biggrin:

Dare I ask why?!

This guy used to be a total geek in school so it might be why he's a bit more receptive to her being quiet (she's not a geek lol) but she seems to be really focussing on it when he's not too bothered.

Reply 12

Barny

17

Definitely, have you never seen the film Van Wilder??

Reply 13

pendragon

13

Tis a significant cause of contention in my relationship that I am stay at home watch DVD's together in bed kind of guy and my girlfriend likes going out to the pub (I dont like drinking, except a glass of wine over dinner, and I find this mind-numbingly dull)... Compromise has been that we went out for dinner a lot (which I do enjoy, but is expensive for students) and go to the cinema sometimes. It is still a real problem though, when I go out sometimes it feels like I am making a considerable effort which my girlfriend doesn't recognise as she has higher expectations and is constantly unsatisfied. I always say that if she wants to go out for drinks more, she can go out with friends, which I think would produce a perfect balance between 'us time' and girls nights out. Even though it seems a comparibly trivial issue it seems to cause more trouble than many more seemingly important problems we have, and has often triggered near-breakups. I think lifestyle compatibility and enjoying doing the same things together is more important than people can possibly imagine especially in the long term.

OP - In this case though it seems likely that the guy might calm down eventually, as it would just be sad if he wanted to go out clubbing all the time into his 30's... Differences can be overcome so long as you are both pleased and content with the situation, but if one person finds it annoying it will only get worse.

Reply 14

db

17

Tarts_n_Vicars

Dare I ask why?!

This guy used to be a total geek in school so it might be why he's a bit more receptive to her being quiet (she's not a geek lol) but she seems to be really focussing on it when he's not too bothered.

because there are very few people from NI on TSR, and you seem like more of the more fun ones :biggrin:

Reply 15

ben!

1

I don't see why not. If they're really into each other then they should go for it, people adapt/change/make allowances if they fall in lurve...
:adore:

*soppy eyelashes*

Reply 16

xoxo_GossipGirl

11

Hmmm I'm split about this one, I'd potentially say yes, because when I started going out with my ex we were fine, then when I stopped being such a 'quite girl' and came into my own a bit it ended, so I'm not sure, but I'm being swayed towards 'yes it can work' =D

Reply 17

The Green Manalishi

1

Yeah it can work, also if the guy feels deeply enough for the girl and she disapproves of some of his bad habits then he might change for her.

It can work, and it might work... You never know, only time will tell if they're able to get along and all :smile:

Reply 18

pendragon

13

Not to be sexist, but I think as a generalisation, women are more demanding about this kind of thing.

Women are more likely to try and change a guy to fit with what they want: in a relationship, socially, in terms of clothes and lifestyle etc.

While men are generally more demanding of changes in the bedroom, and in other spheres of life are pretty tollerant of differences. :rolleyes:

Reply 19

jowsh

personally, i think it would work

Can a party boy/quiet girl relationship work?

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