The Student Room Group

How to lose weight, the latest diet...

Well slap my bottom and call me the new Dr.Atkins. I have spent many years researching and collecting information on how to lose weight effectively and safely. One has to understand how the body works in order to shed those pounds of flab and to also increase muslce mass. My advice is simple and easy to follow, no complicated diet charts or excercises just pure simple and effective techniques... FACT..

Step 1: Go out there and buy my book "So you want to lose weight, fatty?"... it is a 20 page paperback printed on recycled soya and chinese newspapers...

Step 2: Buy two more...

Step 3: Eat one book for breakfast, one for lunch and one for dinner...

It is that simple folks, just nibble on my latest book and watch that lard melt right off*


*N.B I am not responsible if you do actually melt while following my advice, nor am I responsible for G.I bleeding/stomach cancer/ bowel cancer/ ulcers caused by eating the book...
lol
See I already eat books and I'm overweight :frown:
Reply 3
I suggest switching diet books hollz, you can't be too sure with these new fads.
That's the problem, this doesn't fulfill my appetite so I end up binging on a War and Peace hardback and get terrible guilt afterwards. :frown:
Reply 5
I have the same problem with LOTR, Gamma.
I eat 10 bibles a day.

And the Koran for pudding.
Reply 7
And how areyou finding the weight loss?
Reply 8
Dschingis
I eat 10 bibles a day.

And the Koran for pudding.


I would avoid junk food.
I don' t believe in these so called diets like avoid certain foods. They are not right if u avoid eating sumfink then as soon as u cum off ur diet and start eating it again ull jus put the weight back on. The trick is 2 cut down on the amount of certain foods not jus avoid them. Its stupid balance it out, eat less and drink loads of water thats my solution. Oh and eat plenty of veg, fruit & salads. Don't snack during meals on chocolate & junk all the time instead try things that are healthy from like a health food shop or fruit. They do sum pretty amazing stuff in health food shops like white choc coated banannas. (Yummy.) Exercise is a gud thing as well go 2 the gym 4 an hour or 2 every day. U'll soon loose weight probs not as quick as these so called diets like the atkins diet but u will b healthier and feel better 4 it and in the long run u wont put the weight bk on so quick. ( atkins is known 4 helping cause cancer same as many other diets.)
I know that im right ive tried loads of diets and non of them work i woz a size 12 when i was at school and now im a 6-8 in the top and a 8-10 in trousers or dresses. I know i dance 2 and that helps but wiv out me watching wat i eat i wud still b bigger than i am 2day.
Um, sweetheart, thats great about the diets etc, and its great that you've done so well with the weight loss...

But I'd advise you read the rest of this thread...it is kinda a complete joke based on those "fad" diets.