how to get back in her good books

My girlfriend have been seeing each other on and off for the past year - when things get too serious she always breaks it off, we don't speak for a while and then we're back at square one and so on.
I've never been worried she might actually get with someone else (when we don't talk) but recently, in an attempt to get out more, she's been showing an interest in a guy i know quite well. They snogged in front of me, I got pissed off and told her not to do it again (not a good idea...). She's not the kind of girl to go out on the pull, so I'm worried something might develop with this guy (he's living with me next year)
Always, when we've broken up, it was with view eventually of getting back together. This past time though, I really made a mess of everything (i made her cry and feel guilty and bored her with my problems) and combined with the fact I 'ordered' her not to pull this guy/mate, I think it's fair to say getting back together is unlikely
How do I get back in her good books, I can't quite go chatting her up cos she'll take it the wrong way. however, if I do nothing, this guy will make a move. any advice?

Reply 1

HannahJ

I hate to say it but I don't think the outlook is that good to be honest. Do you want to get back in her good books just so you can be friends or do you want to get back together with her or do you just want to stop anything happening between her and this other guy?

Reply 2

Barny

Sounds like a **** relationship, why would you want it to continue?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

friends to start off with again would be nice. about the other guy, i'm not too worried really, just jealous mainly! without wanting to sound big headed, i believe he's got nothing on me...

Reply 4

Barny

Well, obviously not, as shes pulling him, and not you.

Reply 5

lil_jon

.... obviously

Reply 6

HannahJ

imasillynarb

Sounds like a **** relationship, why would you want it to continue?

I have to kind of agree with this. By the sounds of it the relationship has pretty much run its course.

I think the feelings of wanting her back are quite highly fuelled by the fact that there's another guy on the scene already- naturally you're going to feel jealous as your relationship has only just ended and there are still feelings involved.

When I broke up with my last boyfriend (I finished it) he started seeing another girl a couple of weeks afterwards. I found it really hard, I was insanely jealous and spent a lot of time planning on trying to get him back. But then I sat and thought about it and realised it was just me trying to make myself feel better- I wanted to try and prove to myself that I had meant something to him and that I was more important than this new girl because it still felt like she was invading on my territory and that he should still be mourning the fact that I'd broken it off with him.

Basically you've got to let it cool off for a good few months. If you still really care for her maybe its meant to be but you may realise you only thought you wanted her back but really didn't. If a relationship has broken up its for a reason.

If you really cared about each other you'll still want to remain friends with her. It may be easier not to contact each other for a while until the feelings aren't quite so raw. And after that I suggest apologising for telling her what to do and say that whilst things didn't work out between you it'd be stupid to throw away everything that you've had and that'd you'd like to try and still be friends- but only say it if you really mean it

WOW that was an essay...sorry about that

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