My friend keeps using me as a free taxi

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Anon as she uses the site.

I got a car last week and since then one of my close friends keeps arranging for us to meet in the highstreet where she lives and keeps asking for lifts home. She had her son with her on Friday so I refused as she didn't have a car seat and she kicked right off.

Yesterday I got a text asking if I wanted to go for lunch down a local pub and I arranged to meet her and another of our friends there. They'd all ready eaten and were on their third or fourth drink and as soon as I arrived she basically hurried up and asked for a lift so I didn't get to finish my drink.

Today I've got a text off her asking to pick one of her friends up (who I've never met) before I drive to hers where we're getting ready before a night out.

she's just phoned and asked can I drive to the nearest city (about 30 mins away) next week as she needs to pick something up so will need a car. I told her I can't do monday but can do tuesday and she's now in a right huff that I won't fit to her plans and is avoiding paying me saying her bills are due & her ex isn't paying child support. Between petrol and parking it will cost me at least £20 and I can't afford it but if I say no she'll freak out.


She knows I've not got many friends which is why I think she knows she can get away with it. Should I demand the money upfront? I'm feeling so lonely which I know will change when I start uni next month but I have no one to speak to until then and I hate being used
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facetious
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#2
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#2
Ditch her, clearly not worth the effort.
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petzneo
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#3
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#3
Don't let her treat you that way! She is your friend, make sure she treats you like that.

Just tell her that you can't afford to take her there, but you don't mind taking her if she pays.
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I love shopping
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#4
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#4
Ditch her. She's not worth your time. I know you feel lonely and it must be very hard, but it's only a month until you go to uni.
She sounds like a horrible person, trying to manipulate you like that. Tell her she's being unreasonable and that you won't give in to her demands.

You'll meet lots of new people at uni. Good luck!
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username730546
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#5
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#5
I know it's easy for me to say, and very difficult for you to do if you haven't got many friends, but personally I would cut her out of my life. If all she would bring to the month before you go to uni is unhappiness and making you feel guilty because you won't keep doing her free favours that leave you worse off- she's just really not worth having around.
Maybe be honest with her; explain to her you've been doing her a lot of favours and it costs you time and money that she doesn't seem to even appreciate. If she's sorry and offers to pay, then your problem is somewhat fixed (though still cut down on all the favours unless she's giving them back), and if not, you know that she's not worth having as a friend.
Make a habit of meeting with your other friends more regularly, or even family; you've only got a month until you're going to meet loads of people so much more worth your time, so don't stick with her out of fear of being lonely if it means she gets away with using you.
Let me know how it goes lovely
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Gummibaerchen
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#6
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#6
Get her to pay petrol money. Upfront. She sounds like she might leg it out the car without paying.
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mosmof
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#7
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#7
say your car runs on fuel not friendship... pretty simple
9
Tiger Rag
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#8
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#8
I would ditch her too. All she's doing (as you say) is using you as a taxi. What would she do if your car was off the road?
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StacFace
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#9
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#9
If you're actually willing to do it say you can't afford the petrol so if she gives you £x (amount you're willing to do it for) to fill up beforehand then you will take her, but otherwise she'll have to find another way to get there (eg bus/train). If she argues back about paying bills etc just keep telling her you can't afford it because you've just paid out for the car and insurance is expensive etc. Though personally I'd just say no as she's clearly taking advantage and driving someone over 30 minutes away to pick something up to me is only something you do as a favour for a real friend who would appreciate it and probably offer a bit more than the petrol money as a thankyou.

I understand that you're lonely but it's only a month until you go to uni and I think you'd be better off waiting until then to make some new friends who hopefully won't take advantage of you.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#10
Thank you all! You're all so lovely <3 <3

I've told her I'm up for taking her if she pays for petrol and parking as I had to pay money for my car tax (not a complete lie ) and she's said she'll ask someone else as she's broke. I guess I knew she'd be like that but truly disappointed she's proved herself to be a user.

Onwards and upwards, Uni next month where things will hopefully be a lot better.
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Historicity
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you all! You're all so lovely <3 <3

I've told her I'm up for taking her if she pays for petrol and parking as I had to pay money for my car tax (not a complete lie ) and she's said she'll ask someone else as she's broke. I guess I knew she'd be like that but truly disappointed she's proved herself to be a user.

Onwards and upwards, Uni next month where things will hopefully be a lot better.
Isn't it funny how she isn't interested now?

Well done for telling her straight.
4
FXX
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#12
Report 7 years ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you all! You're all so lovely <3 <3

I've told her I'm up for taking her if she pays for petrol and parking as I had to pay money for my car tax (not a complete lie ) and she's said she'll ask someone else as she's broke. I guess I knew she'd be like that but truly disappointed she's proved herself to be a user.

Onwards and upwards, Uni next month where things will hopefully be a lot better.
Well done for standing up to her. Come Christmas your "friend" will be a vague, distant memory.

If she's popular now she certainly won't be if she keeps trying to scrounge free lifts from people, running a car isn't cheap.
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member327593
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you all! You're all so lovely <3 <3

I've told her I'm up for taking her if she pays for petrol and parking as I had to pay money for my car tax (not a complete lie ) and she's said she'll ask someone else as she's broke. I guess I knew she'd be like that but truly disappointed she's proved herself to be a user.

Onwards and upwards, Uni next month where things will hopefully be a lot better.
Well done! And make sure you dont make the same mistake at uni, once people think you're a doormat they will use you all the time. I used to be scared that if i stood up for myself people will think im a b****h but ive realised if you do it a firm but nice way they wont think that, and they will respect you more. Your real friends/intelligent people will know you're being reasonable
1
Anonymous #2
#14
Report 7 years ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
Anon as she uses the site.

I got a car last week and since then one of my close friends keeps arranging for us to meet in the highstreet where she lives and keeps asking for lifts home. She had her son with her on Friday so I refused as she didn't have a car seat and she kicked right off.

Yesterday I got a text asking if I wanted to go for lunch down a local pub and I arranged to meet her and another of our friends there. They'd all ready eaten and were on their third or fourth drink and as soon as I arrived she basically hurried up and asked for a lift so I didn't get to finish my drink.

Today I've got a text off her asking to pick one of her friends up (who I've never met) before I drive to hers where we're getting ready before a night out.

she's just phoned and asked can I drive to the nearest city (about 30 mins away) next week as she needs to pick something up so will need a car. I told her I can't do monday but can do tuesday and she's now in a right huff that I won't fit to her plans and is avoiding paying me saying her bills are due & her ex isn't paying child support. Between petrol and parking it will cost me at least £20 and I can't afford it but if I say no she'll freak out.


She knows I've not got many friends which is why I think she knows she can get away with it. Should I demand the money upfront? I'm feeling so lonely which I know will change when I start uni next month but I have no one to speak to until then and I hate being used
OP, I completely understand how you feel bout being lonely and needing a friend. I have been treated really badly by a friend and having no choice but to allow it, until I start university next week. Don;t worry, you can rebuild your social life at uni!
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Dmon1Unlimited
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#15
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#15
Would be awkward if she read this thread, and noticed you following advice from here

Ask for money or stop letting her take advantage. Itd piss me off...

I'd be like "damn girl, I'm no taxi driver pay up or find your own way to get around... Petrol ain't free"
1
Anonymous #3
#16
Report 7 years ago
#16
As a rule, I don't give my friends a lift anywhere if it's too far out of my way or if they expect me to do it automatically. That might make me sound like a bad friend, but even the kindest people will begin to take you for granted if you bend over backwards for them all the time. I do offer them a lift home when it's late and their home isn't too far out of my way.

I've got your "friend" sussed. You haven't started university yet, so I'm guessing she's around the same age as you. Scrounging teenage single mother who thinks that the world owes her something. She might be popular within your social circle, but that will fade by this time next year. She's pretty now, but in ten years time, she'll be overweight, with smokers lines on her face, two baby-daddies, and no future. Don't envy her. Pity her.
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Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
OP, I completely understand how you feel bout being lonely and needing a friend. I have been treated really badly by a friend and having no choice but to allow it, until I start university next week. Don;t worry, you can rebuild your social life at uni!
I'm sorry to hear you've been through something similar! It's horrid not having a friend to speak to but I'm sure we'll both be fine as soon as term starts. This time next year we will both be surrounded by lovely people!
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Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#18
(Original post by Dmon1Unlimited)
Would be awkward if she read this thread, and noticed you following advice from here

Ask for money or stop letting her take advantage. Itd piss me off...

I'd be like "damn girl, I'm no taxi driver pay up or find your own way to get around... Petrol ain't free"
haha, she's not spoken to me since so I'm sure we won't be in communication anytime soon :P
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danny111
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Anon as she uses the site.

I got a car last week and since then one of my close friends keeps arranging for us to meet in the highstreet where she lives and keeps asking for lifts home. She had her son with her on Friday so I refused as she didn't have a car seat and she kicked right off.

Yesterday I got a text asking if I wanted to go for lunch down a local pub and I arranged to meet her and another of our friends there. They'd all ready eaten and were on their third or fourth drink and as soon as I arrived she basically hurried up and asked for a lift so I didn't get to finish my drink.

Today I've got a text off her asking to pick one of her friends up (who I've never met) before I drive to hers where we're getting ready before a night out.

she's just phoned and asked can I drive to the nearest city (about 30 mins away) next week as she needs to pick something up so will need a car. I told her I can't do monday but can do tuesday and she's now in a right huff that I won't fit to her plans and is avoiding paying me saying her bills are due & her ex isn't paying child support. Between petrol and parking it will cost me at least £20 and I can't afford it but if I say no she'll freak out.


She knows I've not got many friends which is why I think she knows she can get away with it. Should I demand the money upfront? I'm feeling so lonely which I know will change when I start uni next month but I have no one to speak to until then and I hate being used
1. If she is on here she knows that you are talking about her regardless of whether you are anon or not...

2. She doesn't sound like your friend.

3. Get rid. Seriously, no friend is better than someone taking advantage of you.
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User995789
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#20
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#20
Shes broke yet she can afford internet to have an account on tsr?

Ditch her. Look up how to improve self confidence Also pm me if you need help!
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