This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

When breaking up isnt quite the end

toni997

fddddddddddddddddssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Reply 1

Drogue

19

I know exactly what you mean. It's *much* easier to accept a break up when you're both single, because you can still feel special to each other - as close friends and as important people to them. Yet when they get a new partner, you suddenly become priority #2, at least in your own eyes. Them having a new lover means they're over you, in a large way.

Also there's the feeling that somehow they're better, that they've found someone else and you haven't. Or maybe that's just a me thing. I'm in a very similar position, we broke up 6 months ago and it still hurts more that she has a new boyfriend than that we broke up. However I'm feeling much happier about things recently, since I started dating again :smile:

Reply 2

HannahJ

I know how you feel; I went through the same thing after I split up with my previous boyfriend of two years- it was really hard when he started dating someone else. It can make you feel a little worthless at first.

But when you think about it, he's emailed you to tell you. He obviously values your opinion and wants you to know whats going on his life, he still wants to be friends and therefore you obviously had something strong together in his eyes- try not to feel jealous.

And it will get easier after time. However like Drogue said, it will be easier when you start seeing other people

Reply 3

ChemistBoy

16

You do feel a bit wierd. Me and my ex were seeing each other for 5 years so it was a bit strange to hear that she was seeing someone else - I don't even know if she knows about my gf of 18 months yet.

Reply 4

anjurdsg

11

getting over someone takes a LONG time, but this time-period will decrease as your experience increases... dont worry about it... jus stay in control of yourself, thats all...

i remember my old days, lol...

oh, and jus a personal question if you dont mind... why did he have to tell you he has a gf? isnt that kinda attention-seeking in the sense that he's tryin to make you jealous? but i dunno...unless you specifically asked him if he had a gf.. jus forget about it!!

Reply 5

Leigh

15

This is why people suggest that when you break up with someone you should go the whole hog a severe all ties; there is always some emotional attachment, no matter how hard you try.

I'm not suggesting you do that, just saying that's why it's so often given as advice. The hurt goes with time. Chances are, he feels a little guilty/sad about you two being 'officially' ended now (in the sense that one of you has someone new). Try and be happy for him, don't get weird or cold towards him and in time you'll both get over the awkwardness and grow close again.

*Considers the lame phrase about friends being forever...*
*Decides against it*

Reply 6

Higgy

2

I split up with my ex last august and now shes started to see someone else it feels like i been shot in the arm or something, we had a casual sexual relationship until january as well which didnt help things

Reply 7

username47781

20

Being friends after breaking up with your partner is always awkward, worst part is when your partner finds someone else.

Reply 8

lou p lou

2

what i always find tough is when it still hurts even if you have someone new too! even though it's totally irrational and selfish, sometimes the just the idea that you can be replaced hurts.

lou xxx

Reply 9

so_this_is_sam

3

Yep, I felt kind of cheated even though we werent still together, and i had got with other people too. I think with me though, we both made the mistake of going back to each other several times which had serious emotional effects. Whenever either of us got with someone else it sparked off old feelings with each other. But I guess I just have to move on....

Reply 10

zav

14

When most people i know brake up with someone they go on the rebound alot works for some people makes it worse for others prob depends how much u care.
To be honest is he has a new girlfriend its prob good as now you can look yourself without feeling bad as he has someone aswell.

Its a new turning point :wink:

Reply 11

Doom_and_Gloom

toni997

I broke up with my boyfriend more than 6 months ago and am very happy with us just being friends, but... today i got an email from him telling me that he had a new girl friend. I felt like some vital organ had just dropped out. How have all the dumpers and dumpees out there felt after the big event? It seems that is it so much more complicated than I first thought! :confused:

It's nearly been a year since my last boyfriend broke up with me and even though I now have a boyfriend it still hurts to see him especially when he’s with his girlfriend. He found her a long time before I could even think about someone else and when I found out it felt like my heart had been yanked yet again since the brake up and I broke down and cried for days. It even hurts when he’s online on msn and I see that he’s come on still. It’s all very complicated and I don’t know what it’s going to be like years from now if I’ll still feel the same or if the feeling will eventually go. I just have to remember that I’ve got a new life building up with my new boyfriend now and that even though I’m not with my last boyfriend that I can still talk to him about anything like I used to. It’s not as if he’s left my life completely which I know would hurt me even more.

Reply 12

c0co

12

toni997

I broke up with my boyfriend more than 6 months ago and am very happy with us just being friends, but... today i got an email from him telling me that he had a new girl friend. I felt like some vital organ had just dropped out. How have all the dumpers and dumpees out there felt after the big event? It seems that is it so much more complicated than I first thought! :confused:

It's a classic case of you don't want him but don't want anyone else to have him. Annoyingly we all feel like that and it's so weird when an ex starts dating someone else but you really wouldn't want to get back together.

Reply 13

HannahJ

anjurdsg

oh, and jus a personal question if you dont mind... why did he have to tell you he has a gf? isnt that kinda attention-seeking in the sense that he's tryin to make you jealous? but i dunno...unless you specifically asked him if he had a gf.. jus forget about it!!

Maybe he sees it that its better that he tells her than her finding out from someone else- especially if they're trying to stay friends

Reply 14

smilee172

14

yep i gotta similar prob in that ex doesn't want anything to do with me and i'm no longer #1 in his life, or #2, or #102 for that matter. times and people change but losing a friend aswell as a boyfriend isn't exactly fun times :frown:

Reply 15

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

I don't have any advice to add (it's all been fab so far!) except to say I know how you feel....I think it happens to all of us. :frown:

When breaking up isnt quite the end

Related discussions

Articles for you