Ever met a gf/bf in a bar or club?

Lots of my friends go on nights out looking to meet someone but none of us have ever met anyone that we've formed a relationship with from a bar/club...most has been a fling. The only exceptions seem to be when you already know the person or if your introduced by a friend...but never someone new that we've met on a night out.

Anyone formed a relationship with someone they've met at a bar or club?

Reply 1

grace

15

well i met my current bf at my union, don't really know if that counts....i was sitting on a pool table surrounded by men and he espied me from afar, lol. :tongue:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

My longest relationship was with a girl I met in a bar. I actually like meeting people that way. It is risky but you need to know how to deal with it. I much prefer to be with someone who I was instantly attracted to the moment I spoke to them, rather than going out with someone because they were available at the time, when I met them through a friend... and end up convincing myself I like them/am attracted to them.

Meeting someone in a bar/club is a lot more proactive than just settling for whatever life throws at you as an option.

Reply 3

Helenia

20

It only works if you're lucky and catch the right person at the right time. Considering the number of people there just for sex/whatever they can get, the chances of this happening are small

No.

I met my gf at a ball, does that count? It was a white ball or something. She was on my card and I tore her dress during the quickstep, so was an instant hit. Does that count?

A firend of mine met HIS girlfriend at a rather mad after-party. Bars? I don't think it happens really.

Reply 6

SamTheMan

17

Helenia

It only works if you're lucky and catch the right person at the right time. Considering the number of people there just for sex/whatever they can get, the chances of this happening are small

If you go to a decent club, and not one full of pikies hoping to lose their virginity, you'll find that there are just as many people looking for sex than anywhere else. If it's the kind of club where there's some place you can almost have a conversation, nothing stops you from meeting the ideal man. The only difference is that physical attraction plays a greater role. In my opinion, not necessarily a negative thing.

The only difference is that outside a bar, the social rules are changed: even if a guy is just looking for sex, he has to act like he isn't and has to hide it a lot more, act all friendly...

Reply 7

Helenia

20

SamTheMan

If you go to a decent club, and not one full of pikies hoping to lose their virginity, you'll find that there are just as many people looking for sex than anywhere else. If it's the kind of club where there's some place you can almost have a conversation, nothing stops you from meeting the ideal man. The only difference is that physical attraction plays a greater role. In my opinion, not necessarily a negative thing.

The only difference is that outside a bar, the social rules are changed: even if a guy is just looking for sex, he has to act like he isn't and has to hide it a lot more, act all friendly...

Yes, because I love going clubbing with 17 year old pikeys wanting to get laid :rolleyes:

Personally I don't think it's that great a place for meeting people. Physical attraction is more prominent, sure, but add in alcohol and people's standards drop anyway.

Obviously from your implication, all guys everywhere are bastards and if they're nice it means they want sex :rolleyes:

Reply 8

Kittennffc

15

Helenia

It only works if you're lucky and catch the right person at the right time. Considering the number of people there just for sex/whatever they can get, the chances of this happening are small

Totally true! Met this guy ages ago in a club, and we met up after that night, and were kind of seeing each other for about a month.. Principal though, that I could actually see myself being with that person.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

I met my boyfriend in Debenhams in !! haha - and no, he didnt work there (nor did i!) lol

Reply 10

Student_Bum

1

I met my present boyfriend at an indie pub ( been with him 1 1/2 years) so it can happen. I think the thing is, is that you have to go to the right sort of places. We obviously had things in common straight away ( e.g alternative music)
Also i find that more "Rave" places like Dance clubs, its more of a "sex" thing.

Reply 11

SamTheMan

17

Helenia

Yes, because I love going clubbing with 17 year old pikeys wanting to get laid :rolleyes:

There are nicer clubs than those which are meat markets for ugly pikeys.

Helenia

Personally I don't think it's that great a place for meeting people. Physical attraction is more prominent, sure, but add in alcohol and people's standards drop anyway.

You can always avoid the guys who clearly are under the influence. People who are in bars are not necessarily more promiscuous and just looking for sex. Sure the guys who go around grabbing your hips and trying to get you to dance with them are but there are such guys outside bars. It's all to do with the social interaction: such a guy is less likely to do that outside a bar, that's all.
But if you learn to adapt yourself to the different social standards in a club, you have just as much chance, if not more, of meeting someone you're truly attracted to and truly interested in. If you talk to a guy a bit and try to at least get a decent impression. If you don't want to just hook up on the spot, nothing stops you from meeting him later.

Outside clubs, those who don't know how to play by the rules of the social game, yet want a relationship, end up with people who just want sex too...
It has little to do with being in a club or outside a club.
In a club, you can get drawn into the easy solution: letting drunk guys approach you and just snog them on the spot. There's a similar easy solution outside a club which doesn't lead to a happy relationship either.

Obviously from your implication, all guys everywhere are bastards and if they're nice it means they want sex :rolleyes:

Yes every guy is a bit of a bastard if the social context is right.

Reply 12

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

The gift shop at Shannon Airport...he was passing through, so was I :smile:

We went out for ages......

Reply 13

c0co

OP

12

Tarts_n_Vicars

The gift shop at Shannon Airport...he was passing through, so was I :smile:

We went out for ages......

Chance meeting! That's romantic...I went out with a guy that I met during a tube delay cause we were both stuck on the same platform.

So there's no real point for chicks to go to a bar/club if there lookin for more than a one night stand/casual fool around?

Reply 14

Helenia

20

SamTheMan

There are nicer clubs than those which are meat markets for ugly pikeys.

No, really? I hadn't noticed. :rolleyes:

Thank you SO much for enlightening me.

You can always avoid the guys who clearly are under the influence. People who are in bars are not necessarily more promiscuous and just looking for sex. Sure the guys who go around grabbing your hips and trying to get you to dance with them are but there are such guys outside bars. It's all to do with the social interaction: such a guy is less likely to do that outside a bar, that's all.
But if you learn to adapt yourself to the different social standards in a club, you have just as much chance, if not more, of meeting someone you're truly attracted to and truly interested in. If you talk to a guy a bit and try to at least get a decent impression. If you don't want to just hook up on the spot, nothing stops you from meeting him later.

True. But how many people actually work that way? The available clubs in Cambridge have music WAY too loud for any kind of meaningful conversation, and I'm sure the city isn't unique in that aspect. Besides, nobody's going to be interested enough in me on my looks alone so that's never going to work. Should also point out, given your relationship history, it's not been the most successful strategy ever.

Outside clubs, those who don't know how to play by the rules of the social game, yet want a relationship, end up with people who just want sex too...
It has little to do with being in a club or outside a club.
In a club, you can get drawn into the easy solution: letting drunk guys approach you and just snog them on the spot. There's a similar easy solution outside a club which doesn't lead to a happy relationship either.

Yes every guy is a bit of a bastard if the social context is right.

It upsets me just how stupid you think girls are.

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

chrissy909

Lots of my friends go on nights out looking to meet someone but none of us have ever met anyone that we've formed a relationship with from a bar/club...most has been a fling. The only exceptions seem to be when you already know the person or if your introduced by a friend...but never someone new that we've met on a night out.

Anyone formed a relationship with someone they've met at a bar or club?

Yeah, my current boyfriend i met in the Sub at uni on the first or second night. At first i expected him to just end up as a one night stand but unlike most one nights stands i didn't have the option not to see him again cos we live in the same building, we got to really like each other and we got together.

Reply 16

dyslexic_banana

1

Helenia

It upsets me just how stupid you think girls are.

How has he implied that girls are stupid?

Reply 17

SamTheMan

17

Helenia

True. But how many people actually work that way? The available clubs in Cambridge have music WAY too loud for any kind of meaningful conversation, and I'm sure the city isn't unique in that aspect. Besides, nobody's going to be interested enough in me on my looks alone so that's never going to work. Should also point out, given your relationship history, it's not been the most successful strategy ever.

Well choose the right clubs/bars which allow you to interact the way you want. If clubs and bars weren't made for socialising then you wouldn't have so many singles nights for 30somethings or 40somethings. I do agree there are quite a lot of clubs which don't allow you to get away from the music a bit and chat (plus I know what you mean, trying to decipher what someone is saying when the music is too loud is frustrating and you have to ask them to repeat their name 3 times... :rolleyes:

) but many clubs do. Usually at the bar, it's a bit easier to talk.
And even if the music is too loud to have a real proper discussion, you can still dance with a guy and exchange numbers after only having a brief "conversation".

I was with a girl for almost a year after meeting her in a club. So maybe that's influenced my opinion somewhat. Yes I don't have a series of success stories but that's more to do with my desire to find the right girl for a relationship, rather than just settle for second best.

And "given my relationship history"... that's a bit low. Do you want me to start talking about shaving? :rolleyes:

Reply 18

hanadeka2002

I couldn't imagine meeting a boyfriend in a club and have certainly never done it.It definitely seems like when you go to a club that most guys are just out for a one night stand and not actually to get to know the girls(as is evident when they think it's acceptable to stick their hand up your skirt without barely saying two words to you)....

Reply 19

Helenia

20

SamTheMan

Well choose the right clubs/bars which allow you to interact the way you want. If clubs and bars weren't made for socialising then you wouldn't have so many singles nights for 30somethings or 40somethings. I do agree there are quite a lot of clubs which don't allow you to get away from the music a bit and chat (plus I know what you mean, trying to decipher what someone is saying when the music is too loud is frustrating and you have to ask them to repeat their name 3 times... :rolleyes:

) but many clubs do. Usually at the bar, it's a bit easier to talk.
And even if the music is too loud to have a real proper discussion, you can still dance with a guy and exchange numbers after only having a brief "conversation".

If you can find me a decent club like that in Cambridge, you shall have a prize. Most people on here are not going to be going to 30s/40s singles nights, are they?

I'm not trusting enough to do the phone-number exchanging thing. No point getting your hopes up if you've barely spoken to them.

I think student union bars/pubs etc are a different matter, it's perfectly possible to meet people there. Clubs of the kind that we have though...unlikely to work

I was with a girl for almost a year after meeting her in a club. So maybe that's influenced my opinion somewhat. Yes I don't have a series of success stories but that's more to do with my desire to find the right girl for a relationship, rather than just settle for second best.

And "given my relationship history"... that's a bit low. Do you want me to start talking about shaving? :rolleyes:

No, because it would be entirely irrelevant. I was pointing out that your relationships from what you've said on here have been fairly screwy, and the fact that it worked out once for you doesn't really cancel out the number of times it doesn't work for other people. As I said at the start, some people get lucky, others don't. Clubs are a much more physical environment than meeting someone in a less, erm, intense social situation.

Ever met a gf/bf in a bar or club?

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