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JSA and rent to parents? I don't have enough? please read!

So my dad wants me to pay up £20 once a week once my jobseekers money come through. I don't think this is unreasonable at all because I know he has no money [ we literally have no food in the house to eat during the day other than bread ]

But i'm only getting £56.25 a week on jobseekers, so it means I'm gonna be down to £36. And i'm worried it isn't going to be enough, it costs me £5.70 to get to my boyfriends house alone (he doesn't seem to like coming to my house, so thats £11+ gone already). And then I have a tonne of university open days coming up (well, 5) but I imagine the train is going to be pretty pricey, and they're all like one week after the after (I actually have two in one week). And I have to pay out the £22 to actually send off my ucas form in the first place. And then theres £10 a month for my phone too. And i know clothes are a luxery especially when you're on benefits, but I at least desperately need to buy some new shoes because I don't have a single pair that are not falling apart because I havn't brought any for about two years. I also need to learn to drive in this year, and there's no chance of that happening when I'm on JSA!

I'm trying really really hard to look for a job, its unbelievable. I probably spend the majority of my day just refreshing job websites, and I've even started applying to places which are going to take me an hour to get to because I'm that desperate. I applied in McDonalds 2 weeks ago (a job is a job), but they've messed things up for me (they sent me an email after my 2 interviews saying they had been trying to contact me and assumed I was no longer successful - but no one even rang me! - I rang up and went into the store every day that week, and eventually they told me the lady I had my interview was went on holiday and there must have been a mix-up and I have to go back in thursday to speak to her). My dad keeps yelling at me for not having a job, and telling me that its my fault there's no food in the house and I feel terrible, he doesn't seem to understand how hard it is to get a job, mind you he does work in the family business!

So yeah, I don't know how I'm going to manage money wise, I just feel like crying. My brother is 20 and also on JSA. But he's an idiot, because he doesn't actually want a job and isn't trying like me - he fully admits to sponging off the state. He hasn't done anything with his life since he left school at 16. I feel like if only he had got a job like every other normal person, our household wouldn't be in such a dire financial state.

I'm so worried I'm losing sleep. And I'm starting to feel really jealous of my boyfriend, because he has two jobs and although he probably only works around 26 hours, he has so much money compared to me and I can't help but get really jealous over that because I'm trying so hard, and it's really putting a toll on our relationship in my opinion. He has enough money to buy an iPhone and a laptop and clothes, and I'm sat here and I don't even have enough money to see him! So what do I do? Do I perhaps try and ask my dad if I can pay less rent, and owe him for when I do get a job or something? Or do I just sacrifice time with my boyfriend/some university open days?

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Original post by Lokzia
So my dad wants me to pay up £20 once a week once my jobseekers money come through. I don't think this is unreasonable at all because I know he has no money [ we literally have no food in the house to eat during the day other than bread ]

But i'm only getting £56.25 a week on jobseekers, so it means I'm gonna be down to £36. And i'm worried it isn't going to be enough, it costs me £5.70 to get to my boyfriends house alone (he doesn't seem to like coming to my house, so thats £11+ gone already). And then I have a tonne of university open days coming up (well, 5) but I imagine the train is going to be pretty pricey, and they're all like one week after the after (I actually have two in one week). And I have to pay out the £22 to actually send off my ucas form in the first place. And then theres £10 a month for my phone too. And i know clothes are a luxery especially when you're on benefits, but I at least desperately need to buy some new shoes because I don't have a single pair that are not falling apart because I havn't brought any for about two years. I also need to learn to drive in this year, and there's no chance of that happening when I'm on JSA!

I'm trying really really hard to look for a job, its unbelievable. I probably spend the majority of my day just refreshing job websites, and I've even started applying to places which are going to take me an hour to get to because I'm that desperate. I applied in McDonalds 2 weeks ago (a job is a job), but they've messed things up for me (they sent me an email after my 2 interviews saying they had been trying to contact me and assumed I was no longer successful - but no one even rang me! - I rang up and went into the store every day that week, and eventually they told me the lady I had my interview was went on holiday and there must have been a mix-up and I have to go back in thursday to speak to her). My dad keeps yelling at me for not having a job, and telling me that its my fault there's no food in the house and I feel terrible, he doesn't seem to understand how hard it is to get a job, mind you he does work in the family business!

So yeah, I don't know how I'm going to manage money wise, I just feel like crying. My brother is 20 and also on JSA. But he's an idiot, because he doesn't actually want a job and isn't trying like me - he fully admits to sponging off the state. He hasn't done anything with his life since he left school at 16. I feel like if only he had got a job like every other normal person, our household wouldn't be in such a dire financial state.

I'm so worried I'm losing sleep. And I'm starting to feel really jealous of my boyfriend, because he has two jobs and although he probably only works around 26 hours, he has so much money compared to me and I can't help but get really jealous over that because I'm trying so hard, and it's really putting a toll on our relationship in my opinion. He has enough money to buy an iPhone and a laptop and clothes, and I'm sat here and I don't even have enough money to see him! So what do I do? Do I perhaps try and ask my dad if I can pay less rent, and owe him for when I do get a job or something? Or do I just sacrifice time with my boyfriend/some university open days?


Hi there,
There's already some things which I can see that can really be cut from your budget. Your first thing is actually going to see your boyfriend. Since that is quite pricey, could you not walk to his house as that would save £11.40 right there? Even if not, surely he could come to your house sometimes or perhaps you could meet in the middle at a park say and have a small picnic or just go for a walk. There are many ways that you can meet him without actually spending money. That's some money saved.

Secondly, do you need to go to every university open day? You are applying for five universities and it may help your thought processes to go to all, but could you not prioritise them and go to say the top two or three that you want to go to? That's another way of saving money.

You don't need to learn to drive at all. Driving is a luxury and even if you learn how to drive, you couldn't afford a car in your current financial state so really you should forget about learning to drive for the time being. Furthermore, in many cases, public transport is far cheaper than driving.

Do you really need a phone? If you've got a landline, why do you need a mobile phone (assuming that you have one) on top of this? It seems a little unnecessary.

There are many ways of saving money and really it's all about learning the difference between a luxury and a necessity. Hopefully I have shown you some ways in which you can save money. If you have any questions, just ask.

toronto353 :smile:
Reply 2
Original post by Lokzia
So my dad wants me to pay up £20 once a week once my jobseekers money come through. I don't think this is unreasonable at all because I know he has no money [ we literally have no food in the house to eat during the day other than bread ]

But i'm only getting £56.25 a week on jobseekers, so it means I'm gonna be down to £36. And i'm worried it isn't going to be enough, it costs me £5.70 to get to my boyfriends house alone (he doesn't seem to like coming to my house, so thats £11+ gone already). And then I have a tonne of university open days coming up (well, 5) but I imagine the train is going to be pretty pricey, and they're all like one week after the after (I actually have two in one week). And I have to pay out the £22 to actually send off my ucas form in the first place. And then theres £10 a month for my phone too. And i know clothes are a luxery especially when you're on benefits, but I at least desperately need to buy some new shoes because I don't have a single pair that are not falling apart because I havn't brought any for about two years. I also need to learn to drive in this year, and there's no chance of that happening when I'm on JSA!

I'm trying really really hard to look for a job, its unbelievable. I probably spend the majority of my day just refreshing job websites, and I've even started applying to places which are going to take me an hour to get to because I'm that desperate. I applied in McDonalds 2 weeks ago (a job is a job), but they've messed things up for me (they sent me an email after my 2 interviews saying they had been trying to contact me and assumed I was no longer successful - but no one even rang me! - I rang up and went into the store every day that week, and eventually they told me the lady I had my interview was went on holiday and there must have been a mix-up and I have to go back in thursday to speak to her). My dad keeps yelling at me for not having a job, and telling me that its my fault there's no food in the house and I feel terrible, he doesn't seem to understand how hard it is to get a job, mind you he does work in the family business!

So yeah, I don't know how I'm going to manage money wise, I just feel like crying. My brother is 20 and also on JSA. But he's an idiot, because he doesn't actually want a job and isn't trying like me - he fully admits to sponging off the state. He hasn't done anything with his life since he left school at 16. I feel like if only he had got a job like every other normal person, our household wouldn't be in such a dire financial state.

I'm so worried I'm losing sleep. And I'm starting to feel really jealous of my boyfriend, because he has two jobs and although he probably only works around 26 hours, he has so much money compared to me and I can't help but get really jealous over that because I'm trying so hard, and it's really putting a toll on our relationship in my opinion. He has enough money to buy an iPhone and a laptop and clothes, and I'm sat here and I don't even have enough money to see him! So what do I do? Do I perhaps try and ask my dad if I can pay less rent, and owe him for when I do get a job or something? Or do I just sacrifice time with my boyfriend/some university open days?



1- Your dad is a dick.
2 - Your brother is a dick.
3- Your boyfriend is a dick.
4- Apply for student finance, you should get a grant towards your living costs.
5- Leave for uni. During summer go for interships so you get your living costs covered and during term time go back to uni.
Reply 3
Can your boyfriend not pay for your bus as he's not willing to travel to your house? I think if he can afford all that then he should be able to help you with bus fare - maybe take it in turns to pay? You could also contact the Universities and ask if they are willing to help with travel costs? I know someone who got a refund for a train ticket so it may be worth looking into? Is your phone on contract or could you stop buying as much credit and get people to phone you? I know how horrible it is being on JSA so you have my sympathies.
Reply 4
You have £36 a week yet you spend £11 a week going to see your boyfriend who has two jobs and alot of money, does this make much sense to you ?! No, doesn't to me either.

Do not spend one more penny going to see your boyfriend, he can come and see you.

Other than that, stay positive, keep looking, do you have work experience ? what was your old job?

You didn't mention your degree, work experience etc
Reply 5
Tell your boyfriend a relationship is a two way thing, he can come to yours or pay for your ticket to see him. I don't think he is being reasonable at all.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 6
Primark sells cheap shoes for around £10.
Does your dad work? I find it very difficult to believe a house could have no food in if there is a working person in the household, if not even benefits should cover food costs.
I know little money is hard to manage and to be honest I see a mobile phone as a necessity although that doesnt mean you have to be in credit all the time.
If your boyfriend will not come to yours, or offer to pay travel expenses for you to see him, he obviously isnt that bothered about seeing you at all, it seems that you are the one making all the effort.
Good luck, even tho JSA is enough to survive on, its very hard to manage. I was in the same position when I left college at 17. That was July I was unemployed until November!!

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my E15i
Reply 7
I would never let a gf pay to come and see me! I'd either pay for the trip or go to her!

it's guys like that that ruin our reputation >.<

*edit* woooow, neg rep for being a gentleman - I'm sorry ladies, chivalry is definitely dead, or at least extremely rare! :P
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 8
Give her a break guys

Really saddens me to read stuff like this

But if I was you I would be Honest with your dad and say you just can't afford the rent

And that your looking everywhere for employment and once you have found work you will help pay him rent.

At the end of the day he's your father and your his daughter. Of course he will say yes if you can't afford the rent just yet.

And work hard on your education. That is the priority in your life.

:smile: lastly take charge and tell your lazy boyfriend to visit you instead!




This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 9
Okay, thank you for the responses. I'm going to talk to my boyfriend about the fact that I can't afford to go to his house so he will have to come to see me, and if he doesn't like it then I'll have to dump him because I have bigger priorities. I'm pretty sure that I want to go to Bristol for university anyway, so I guess I'll just go look around there. Driving will have to wait, but I do need my phone yes because I need it to be able to contact my family when I am out and stuff!

My dad does work, but he doesn't get very much.

Also, I'm really not materialistic so I don't appreciate you calling me pathetic. If you knew me, you'd know I hardly spend my money on anything materialistic, i always save it or spend it on food/travel, only occasionally splashing out to buy things for myself. I think this is pretty obvious from the fact I havn't brought any shoes for two years, when they're too small for me.

But yeah, I'm sure I'll manage for now but hopefully something will come up soon :/
Original post by grumbeale
You sound extremely materialistic in this post. Being jealous of your boyfriend because he owns an iPhone, Laptop and can afford to buy new clothes is pretty pathetic. You do not need these things at all, even if you did you could afford them with one monthly paycheck on the minimum wage.

It seems almost as if you are genetically prescribed to be poor and your family has problems managing money. Of course, JSA isn't a great amount of money but you can survive on it, so at least be grateful that at least you get some money whilst you are in such an 'awful' situation. Indeed, at the moment it is tough to find work (or so it seems from reading this website) - but the fact you get free money whilst searching for work is a huge bonus.


She doesn't sound materialistic at all. From your post it sounds like your family has never struggled with finances, and good for them but not everyone is so lucky. You sounded pretty condescending to be honest. It is an "awful" situation if her family has no food in the house, and anyone who has ever been on JSA while searching for a job will empathise with OP. It's not a lot to live on if you have to give almost half of it away.
Reply 11
For getting to open days, look at Megabus (they sell train tickets as well). If you buy in advance you can get tickets for much less than they would be on the day. I'd agree with the people saying that you probably don't need to visit all five, surely you already have a preference among them. Maybe go and visit your top three choices?
Also your boyfriend is taking the p***.
Original post by Lokzia
So my dad wants me to pay up £20 once a week once my jobseekers money come through. I don't think this is unreasonable at all because I know he has no money [ we literally have no food in the house to eat during the day other than bread ]

But i'm only getting £56.25 a week on jobseekers, so it means I'm gonna be down to £36. And i'm worried it isn't going to be enough, it costs me £5.70 to get to my boyfriends house alone (he doesn't seem to like coming to my house, so thats £11+ gone already). And then I have a tonne of university open days coming up (well, 5) but I imagine the train is going to be pretty pricey, and they're all like one week after the after (I actually have two in one week). And I have to pay out the £22 to actually send off my ucas form in the first place. And then theres £10 a month for my phone too. And i know clothes are a luxery especially when you're on benefits, but I at least desperately need to buy some new shoes because I don't have a single pair that are not falling apart because I havn't brought any for about two years. I also need to learn to drive in this year, and there's no chance of that happening when I'm on JSA!

I'm trying really really hard to look for a job, its unbelievable. I probably spend the majority of my day just refreshing job websites, and I've even started applying to places which are going to take me an hour to get to because I'm that desperate. I applied in McDonalds 2 weeks ago (a job is a job), but they've messed things up for me (they sent me an email after my 2 interviews saying they had been trying to contact me and assumed I was no longer successful - but no one even rang me! - I rang up and went into the store every day that week, and eventually they told me the lady I had my interview was went on holiday and there must have been a mix-up and I have to go back in thursday to speak to her). My dad keeps yelling at me for not having a job, and telling me that its my fault there's no food in the house and I feel terrible, he doesn't seem to understand how hard it is to get a job, mind you he does work in the family business!

So yeah, I don't know how I'm going to manage money wise, I just feel like crying. My brother is 20 and also on JSA. But he's an idiot, because he doesn't actually want a job and isn't trying like me - he fully admits to sponging off the state. He hasn't done anything with his life since he left school at 16. I feel like if only he had got a job like every other normal person, our household wouldn't be in such a dire financial state.

I'm so worried I'm losing sleep. And I'm starting to feel really jealous of my boyfriend, because he has two jobs and although he probably only works around 26 hours, he has so much money compared to me and I can't help but get really jealous over that because I'm trying so hard, and it's really putting a toll on our relationship in my opinion. He has enough money to buy an iPhone and a laptop and clothes, and I'm sat here and I don't even have enough money to see him! So what do I do? Do I perhaps try and ask my dad if I can pay less rent, and owe him for when I do get a job or something? Or do I just sacrifice time with my boyfriend/some university open days?


The more you worry about money, the more it will elude you.

Try applying for Christmas temp jobs- they'll probably be easier to get then normal jobs. Also check out hospitality jobs that give you work on a flexible basis, such as michael wisher.
You don't need to learn to drive. I'm with the others - your boyfriend should pay (at least some, anyway) if he wants you to come to his.
Is there somewhere near you that does hospitality events? I'm from York, and there is a racecourse nearby that has formal events every so often - look into applying there? It's not loads of hours, so shouldn't change your benefits, but can pay quite alright (about £30 a night for roughly 4/5 hours work). Even if you do get a job, those kinds of things are usually on an evening so can be done alongside. Tell your boyfriend that he needs to come to you sometimes, at least until you get money sorted!

What about housing benefit? Talk to your advisor at the job centre and they can advise you on whether you can apply - as you are essentially paying rent. Has your Dad sorted all the council benefits?
Can you not get an allowance to pay rent to parents- when your doing the initial telephone questionnaire its one of the questions they ask you after your telling them you live with your parents.
Original post by linkdapink
Is there somewhere near you that does hospitality events? I'm from York, and there is a racecourse nearby that has formal events every so often - look into applying there? It's not loads of hours, so shouldn't change your benefits, but can pay quite alright (about £30 a night for roughly 4/5 hours work). Even if you do get a job, those kinds of things are usually on an evening so can be done alongside. Tell your boyfriend that he needs to come to you sometimes, at least until you get money sorted!


If you earn more than £5 a week, (or £10 or £20 in some circumstances) your benefits are affected.

What about housing benefit? Talk to your advisor at the job centre and they can advise you on whether you can apply - as you are essentially paying rent. Has your Dad sorted all the council benefits?


The OP won't get housing benefit.
Reply 17
Original post by LannaBanana
She doesn't sound materialistic at all. From your post it sounds like your family has never struggled with finances, and good for them but not everyone is so lucky. You sounded pretty condescending to be honest. It is an "awful" situation if her family has no food in the house, and anyone who has ever been on JSA while searching for a job will empathise with OP. It's not a lot to live on if you have to give almost half of it away.


She's jealous of an iPhone & laptop. That is materialistic. I've never struggled with finances, despite earning way less than average because I don't have problems managing money. Rather than get new clothes or the latest phone, I spend money when it's necessary to do so.
Reply 18
ok. first thing to do is make yourself employable. this could mean volunteering some of your time to charity (cost not a problem as you can walk to one) this is what i did on jsa and it meant my mum couldnt accuse me of spongeing as i was giving more back to society than i was taking away from it. it will massivley help you get work and make you feel better abput yourself. Sometimes we need goals in life. good luck and hang on there!!
Original post by grumbeale

It seems almost as if you are genetically prescribed to be poor and your family has problems managing money.

What an absolutely disgusting thing to say. This isn't the Victorian Times, fancy sending them off to the workhouse then?

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