So my dad wants me to pay up £20 once a week once my jobseekers money come through. I don't think this is unreasonable at all because I know he has no money [ we literally have no food in the house to eat during the day other than bread ]
But i'm only getting £56.25 a week on jobseekers, so it means I'm gonna be down to £36. And i'm worried it isn't going to be enough, it costs me £5.70 to get to my boyfriends house alone (he doesn't seem to like coming to my house, so thats £11+ gone already). And then I have a tonne of university open days coming up (well, 5) but I imagine the train is going to be pretty pricey, and they're all like one week after the after (I actually have two in one week). And I have to pay out the £22 to actually send off my ucas form in the first place. And then theres £10 a month for my phone too. And i know clothes are a luxery especially when you're on benefits, but I at least desperately need to buy some new shoes because I don't have a single pair that are not falling apart because I havn't brought any for about two years. I also need to learn to drive in this year, and there's no chance of that happening when I'm on JSA!
I'm trying really really hard to look for a job, its unbelievable. I probably spend the majority of my day just refreshing job websites, and I've even started applying to places which are going to take me an hour to get to because I'm that desperate. I applied in McDonalds 2 weeks ago (a job is a job), but they've messed things up for me (they sent me an email after my 2 interviews saying they had been trying to contact me and assumed I was no longer successful - but no one even rang me! - I rang up and went into the store every day that week, and eventually they told me the lady I had my interview was went on holiday and there must have been a mix-up and I have to go back in thursday to speak to her). My dad keeps yelling at me for not having a job, and telling me that its my fault there's no food in the house and I feel terrible, he doesn't seem to understand how hard it is to get a job, mind you he does work in the family business!
So yeah, I don't know how I'm going to manage money wise, I just feel like crying. My brother is 20 and also on JSA. But he's an idiot, because he doesn't actually want a job and isn't trying like me - he fully admits to sponging off the state. He hasn't done anything with his life since he left school at 16. I feel like if only he had got a job like every other normal person, our household wouldn't be in such a dire financial state.
I'm so worried I'm losing sleep. And I'm starting to feel really jealous of my boyfriend, because he has two jobs and although he probably only works around 26 hours, he has so much money compared to me and I can't help but get really jealous over that because I'm trying so hard, and it's really putting a toll on our relationship in my opinion. He has enough money to buy an iPhone and a laptop and clothes, and I'm sat here and I don't even have enough money to see him! So what do I do? Do I perhaps try and ask my dad if I can pay less rent, and owe him for when I do get a job or something? Or do I just sacrifice time with my boyfriend/some university open days?