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The FAQ for dummies, for dummies watch

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    (If deej2 can score kudos for condensing the FAQ, then I sure as hell can.)

    Welcome to The Student Room!

    Welcome to The Student Room!

    The Student Room is a relatively informal discussion forum for people who are, or at some point were, students. It is run for students by people without real jobs. It is rated #1 by Google.com, when you type in the words “The Student Room”.

    You can read and post messages on all issues for free, if you manage to avoid the advertisements for long enough to actually read anything. This is very much in the same manner as you "can" use a unicycle on a motorway, without the expense of a car. All we ask is that you register; registration takes seconds, and account activation only a few weeks.

    Who runs The Student Room, and what can I do to help?


    The site is run by the administrator:

    GεεRTHAN

    It is his job to post every thread.

    Moderators can change all posts, threads, signatures, avatars, member accounts, passwords, rules, PM’s, reputation, locations, profiles, addresses, opinions, and so on. Occasionally they have to ban people too. Please direct any queries towards a moderator, as long as this moderator is not AT82, as he doesn’t enjoy putting up with your type of ****. AT82 doesn’t care about forum people.

    I can’t get on the site!

    That’s not a question, that’s an exclamation.

    If you cannot access the site or for whatever reason you cannot do this, you can contact pig by emailing [email protected].

    The following contingency strategies are also recommended:
    • Put your head inside a plastic bag, breathing slowly, to prevent hyperventilation. Or any ventilation at all, for that matter.
    • Placing your own head inside a blender creates an interesting visual display, and provides stimulating conversation for TSR chat.
    • Stock up on canned foods. Look for forms of communication that are not linked to the TSR servers. Do not attempt speech, for years of Internet “conversation” have left your vocal chords withered and useless.
    • Take a picture of something only you would find interesting, to start a thread about later.
    • Make up problems and characters for an imaginary forum of your own.


    Why should I register?

    Registration brings you the following benefits:
    • Ability to read the FAQ.
    • Ability to post.


    How can I get images in my signature?

    Subscribe, fool.

    How do I get big avatars?

    Subscribe, fool.

    How do I get custom user titles/username colour?

    Subscribe, fool.

    Someone has asked me a question. How do I react?

    Type “READ THE FAQ” in the “reply to message” box, and click “send”.

    I can’t get my girlfriend to orgasm. Can you help?

    Subscribe, fool. Alternatively, spend less time on the internet.

    How do I get the text to scroll across the screen?

    Head down to Market Street, and on the corner waits a chap called Hassan. He’ll give you ganja as cheap as you like; return home. Roll this into what is known as a “bong”. Light. Smoke. For added effect, do the above whilst listening to any Pink Floyd EP.

    Why do I have red gems next to my name?

    This is because you’ve asked what the gems next to your name are, and what they do. Number of red gems is directly correlated to the number of questions and complaints regarding the number of red gems. Alternatively, you may have made a post about religion or politics.

    How do I get the green gems?

    Those with green gems have either breasts, or a sense of humour. Both can be exploited. Small children are also good for exploitation, in diamond mines. With only minimal whipping and starvation, they will soon return with gems of a very different kind. These can then be used to buy the friendship of high-profile members with either computer parts, pornography, or Star Wars collectibles.

    What are the rules of The Student Room?

    When registering on The Student Room we ask you to agree to certain rules. This was most probably in the form of one of those check-box “do you agree?” questions that you never, ever bothered to look at. Silly you.

    1) Don’t break any of the rules.
    2) Don’t do anything that is against the law.
    3) Anything that is against the law is against the rules.
    4) Don’t cheat.
    5) Don’t be offensive. This is against the rules.
    6) If you are a subscriber, stay within the subscriber rules.
    7) In Soviet Russia, rep whores YOU!!!
    8) Don’t encourage anything that is illegal, or against the rules.

    And a final note

    The TSR moderation team reserve the right to do anything, for any reason.

    TSR meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Use before “use before” date. All information right at time of press. Place stamp here. No canvassers, no salesmen, no religious groups. Avoid contact with eyes.
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    :laugh:
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    Now that's hilarious! :rofl:
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    :laugh: Class!
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    i didnt find it that funny
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    (Original post by Chanel)
    i didnt find it that funny
    :ditto:
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    :rofl:
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    :confused: It's all just a wee bit comlpicated though, isn't it, could you not simplify it please.
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    (Original post by mute)
    :confused: It's all just a wee bit comlpicated though, isn't it, could you not simplify it please.
    :toofunny:
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    :rofl: :toofunny:

    Well done 2+2, that was hillarious
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    (Original post by Chanel)
    i didnt find it that funny
    edit: after seeing your msn name i aint gonna piss you off :eek:
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    I didn't really find that very funny either and think it's got to a point that 5 posts 'laugh' and everyone asks 'how loud?'. It's not that he isn't funny, he's just not that funny

    EDIT: waits to be told that I didn't get/is jealous
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    *rolls a bong* :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by LPK)
    :laugh: Class!
    young one are you stealin me terminology????? ^o) ^o) :p:
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    (Original post by ~*~ Tammy ~*~)
    young one are you stealin me terminology????? ^o) ^o) :p:
    :eek: No. :eek:

    Garlic gangsta :p:
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    (Original post by ~*~ Tammy ~*~)
    young one are you stealin me terminology????? ^o) ^o) :p:
    probly :p:
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    (Original post by LPK)
    :eek: No. :eek:

    Garlic gangsta :p:
    aye you are too - lets add a wee penguin onto that culling list shall we :p:
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    (Original post by devilbunny)
    I didn't really find that very funny either and think it's got to a point that 5 posts 'laugh' and everyone asks 'how loud?'. It's not that he isn't funny, he's just not that funny

    EDIT: waits to be told that I didn't get/is jealous
    I disagree. I usually laugh out loud on reading a 2+2 thread, which I think is worthy of a :toofunny: smiley and 20 rep points.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Stick Man, Inc.)
    I disagree. I usually laugh out loud on reading a 2+2 thread, which I think is worthy of a :toofunny: smiley and 20 rep points.
    If you give me five minutes, I am to post a thread that everyone with a juvenile sense of humour will love. Honestly. It's HILARIIIIIIIOUS.
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    :toofunny:
 
 
 
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