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Girifriend cheated on me on her 2nd day at uni. watch

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    Me and my girlfriend have been together for 10 months and very happy.
    We had fully discussed everything about going to uni and how we would be fine etc.

    She goes away to uni. I'm at home having a gap year.

    2 days later she calls me telling me she cheated on me the night before.

    She said she was sorry and it won't happen again and she just got "caught in the excitement of freshers". They kissed in a night club when dancing together.

    I'm now at home, starting a job which I hate. All my friends have gone to uni and i don't know what to do.

    I love this girl so much and she says she does too and it was a stupid "drunken mistake". And that she'll never do it again.

    The fact that it happened the 2nd day doesnt fill me with much confidence for the next 3/4 years.

    Advice and thoughts please!


    Thank you
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    Get rid. Fresher's happens every year so will she get caught up in the moment every year it comes along. Ask the question would she forgive you if you'd done that to her? Don't be a door mat, you're better than that I'm sure...


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    She did at least tell you it had happened, when she easily could have kept quiet about it, so that points to a guilty conscience, which will probably stop her from doing it again. However, if she plans on regurlarly getting wasted what assurance does she have that she won't do this again? She may well never do it when sober, but when drunk we aren't as in control of ourselves.

    Can you feel you can trust her to never do this again, or to tell you if she does? It could be that she won't ever do it again and has learnt her lesson, or it could not. Have you seen her/when will you see her? Because as you say the fact that it happened during Freshers (and getting caught up isn't that great an excuse) doesn't exactly inspire confidence, and you need to talk about this and find out what her plan is to avoid situations where she's stupid enough to cheat on you.
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    (Original post by Nomx93)
    Get rid. Fresher's happens every year so will she get caught up in the moment every year it comes along. Ask the question would she forgive you if you'd done that to her? Don't be a door mat, you're better than that I'm sure...


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    Yeah, she isn't worth it. She's only gonna get drunk and cheat on you again and again and again and again....

    She's treating you like a sucker. Being caught up in the excitement of Freshers in NO EXCUSE whatsoever. Many girls go to uni and don't cheat and sleep around (what I like to think anyway)
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    I'm sorry to hear that. I don't really have any constructive advice to give but I really hope you're doing OK there.

    :console:
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    Ouch.

    No excuse! The second day!!! so she'd only just left you anyway?....She'll prob do it again 'accidentally'
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    If your heart says to give her another chance, do it. She kissed a guy and came clean as soon as she was sober. Hardly the biggest relationschip crime ever committed. Say NO to cynical naysayers! People cry "once a cheat, always a cheat", and never "maybe this small error was the reality check she needed to know to be more careful in future days".

    Peace and love,
    kopi, ffs
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    It's probably going to happen again I'm afraid. She's away from you, and it's taken such a short time already for her to stray. She's hardly going to give up alcohol or stop going to clubs. See what she says if you ask her how she knows it won't happen again if she goes drinking and clubbing, if you're happy with the answer then that's good, but it'd have to be bloody convincing.
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    Firstly, you should dump her. Secondly, relationships rarely last into uni. Look at your relationship and ask yourself if you think it will last throughout uni and you will end up together for a significant time after university. If the answer is no then you should just break up.. you will meet plenty of new people at university and you may suffer from having a girlfriend in your first year.

    Just my opinion, but I couldn't go to uni already in a relationship.. uni is a time to meet new people and make new friends, it's like where part 2 of your life begins, and part 1 needs to be lost.
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    (Original post by kopi, ffs)
    If your heart says to give her another chance, do it. She kissed a guy and came clean as soon as she was sober. Hardly the biggest relationschip crime ever committed. Say NO to cynical naysayers! People cry "once a cheat, always a cheat", and never "maybe this small error was the reality check she needed to know to be more careful in future days".

    Peace and love,
    kopi, ffs
    Agreed, everyone makes mistakes and if she means that much to you then my suggestion would be to give her another chance. However, a second chance is all she deserves, if it happens again then i would hope she would not get another. I don't think it will happen again anyway, she came clean as soon as she was able to, shows that at least she cares about your releationship and your feelings.
    Whatever decision you make, make sure you've thought it through.
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    Admitting it to you will make her realise how much she doesn't like admitting it to you. If your relationship continues, don't expect her to fess up about it a second time.
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    2nd day and see's already cheated with some random guy, pretty weak willed.

    Some relationships last uni, most don't. The initial indication is your's isn't going to. You can forgive her, but most likely she will mess up again, and she might not be so honest next time.
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    (Original post by kopi, ffs)
    If your heart says to give her another chance, do it. She kissed a guy and came clean as soon as she was sober. Hardly the biggest relationschip crime ever committed. Say NO to cynical naysayers! People cry "once a cheat, always a cheat", and never "maybe this small error was the reality check she needed to know to be more careful in future days".

    Peace and love,
    kopi, ffs
    Here here. Give her a second chance if you think you can deal with it - but be warned it'll take you a lot of time to get over it even if you think you're ok with what happened.

    She gets one more chance. Make it clear that if she does it again, she'll be turfed.
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    If she gave in that easily, I imagine it's pretty likely it'll happen again.
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    (Original post by connor1994)
    Me and my girlfriend have been together for 10 months and very happy.
    We had fully discussed everything about going to uni and how we would be fine etc.

    She goes away to uni. I'm at home having a gap year.

    2 days later she calls me telling me she cheated on me the night before.

    She said she was sorry and it won't happen again and she just got "caught in the excitement of freshers". They kissed in a night club when dancing together.

    I'm now at home, starting a job which I hate. All my friends have gone to uni and i don't know what to do.

    I love this girl so much and she says she does too and it was a stupid "drunken mistake". And that she'll never do it again.

    The fact that it happened the 2nd day doesnt fill me with much confidence for the next 3/4 years.

    Advice and thoughts please!


    Thank you
    Please whatever you do, do not forgive her. Dump her. She is a disgusting and horrible person.

    Cut all contact with her. Block her number, delete facebook/twitter/whatever, forget about her and move on. You don't need this nonsense. Find somebody else. Do not communicate with her again and move on. I cannot stress that enough. It is the best way to deal with this situation even though it sucks doing it.

    She WILL cheat on you again. I've lost count the amount of times I have heard this "drunken mistake" story. So many girls have to use alcohol as a way to rationalize their slutty behaviour. They always do it again. She has made her intentions clear via her actions and she has exposed the type of person she is.

    The best advice anyone can give is to cut all contact with her and move on to a better quality girl who is not a whore.

    Good luck

    EDIT: LOL, do not listen to the people saying "one more chance". Don't waste your time. Cut contact now. She is going to cheat on you again. This isnt a cynnical view, it is just reality.
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    Very mixed opinions on here.

    Thank you all for the on-going responses.

    I genuinly love her and that's why its so hard. I worry that if she does it again she might not tell me.
    I hope that it was a wake up call, as some of you stated. But im heartbroken by how someone can just change like that when we were so happy.

    On the other hand she may do it again 'accidentally'.

    I do like to hear peoples thoughts so please continue to post.

    Thank you all.
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    (Original post by connor1994)
    Me and my girlfriend have been together for 10 months and very happy.
    We had fully discussed everything about going to uni and how we would be fine etc.

    She goes away to uni. I'm at home having a gap year.

    2 days later she calls me telling me she cheated on me the night before.

    She said she was sorry and it won't happen again and she just got "caught in the excitement of freshers". They kissed in a night club when dancing together.

    I'm now at home, starting a job which I hate. All my friends have gone to uni and i don't know what to do.

    I love this girl so much and she says she does too and it was a stupid "drunken mistake". And that she'll never do it again.

    The fact that it happened the 2nd day doesnt fill me with much confidence for the next 3/4 years.

    Advice and thoughts please!


    Thank you
    From my experience, this sounds pretty similar to me like 2 years ago.

    Dump her. It will only get worse really.

    But I will tell you this: only you know how much you can take and what she's truly like. If you feel like you can trust her, then go for it if not trust your instincts and dump her.
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    Lol some stupid advice here.

    Firstly, don't just "get rid" like she's a piece of rubbish, go your separate ways for a bit and say to her see how we feel in 6 months or something, stay friends etc. It is true that I wouldnt trust a girl in freshers and she will do it again - and more - we've all been there (if youve been to uni) and next year you will too.

    Secondly don't waste the gap year, get a job, earn some money and do some memorable things. Don't get hung up on a girl who is just being young and free, like you will be next year


    Edit: agree 100% that she will do it again, don't be a mug
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    Dont be suprised if she calls you in 9 months and says that was an accident too!
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    Get rid. If you take her back you're a wench.
 
 
 
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