Girifriend cheated on me on her 2nd day at uni.
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Original post by Lord of the Flies
I hate it when people use the excuse of "the moment" or "the alcohol". The truth is, in both cases you are fully aware of what you are doing - the difference is you don't ask yourself as many questions as you would in a "normal situation". But in the end, you know you have a boyfriend/girlfriend when you cheat, regardless of context. If your feelings are strong enough, they will fight against the urge, and if they aren't, you end up giving in (i.e. cheating). It all comes down to how much she cares - so despite your 10 month relationship, I doubt it would survive three/four years given what you have said. So I would make things simpler and break up.
Not only good for maths advice ey sir
Well put.
Original post by SubAtomic
Not only good for maths advice ey sir Well put.
Well put.Ha!
Without any more context, nobody on the internet can reliably tell you to throw her away. If you can objectively say her regret was sincere and that she does actually care about you, a drunken kiss shouldn't preclude one last chance. As bad as her deed was, imperfections in relationships that have potential are worth trying to solve. You have to show her how hurt and pissed off you are about it though, and talk about it more rather than letting her gloss over it as a drunken mistake
I'm not sure what you should do- not many girls that I know would have the gutso to ring up their boyfriend and admit their mistake.
Plus everyone deserves second chances and all that. I would keep things as they are personally and if she does it again- get rid.
Plus everyone deserves second chances and all that. I would keep things as they are personally and if she does it again- get rid.
Original post by connor1994
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 10 months and very happy.
We had fully discussed everything about going to uni and how we would be fine etc.
She goes away to uni. I'm at home having a gap year.
2 days later she calls me telling me she cheated on me the night before.
She said she was sorry and it won't happen again and she just got "caught in the excitement of freshers". They kissed in a night club when dancing together.
I'm now at home, starting a job which I hate. All my friends have gone to uni and i don't know what to do.
I love this girl so much and she says she does too and it was a stupid "drunken mistake". And that she'll never do it again.
The fact that it happened the 2nd day doesnt fill me with much confidence for the next 3/4 years.
Advice and thoughts please!
Thank you
We had fully discussed everything about going to uni and how we would be fine etc.
She goes away to uni. I'm at home having a gap year.
2 days later she calls me telling me she cheated on me the night before.
She said she was sorry and it won't happen again and she just got "caught in the excitement of freshers". They kissed in a night club when dancing together.
I'm now at home, starting a job which I hate. All my friends have gone to uni and i don't know what to do.
I love this girl so much and she says she does too and it was a stupid "drunken mistake". And that she'll never do it again.
The fact that it happened the 2nd day doesnt fill me with much confidence for the next 3/4 years.
Advice and thoughts please!
Thank you
Sorry to tell you this, but it is never a "once off", she clearly doesn't love you as much as she claims otherwise she would have not done it and a bit of "excitement" would not have made her do it.
So to save yourself some real ball ache, dump her and move on....or keep her on the side but realise that it is just casual stuff and nothing serious.
Original post by connor1994
me and my girlfriend have been together for 10 months and very happy.
We had fully discussed everything about going to uni and how we would be fine etc.
She goes away to uni. I'm at home having a gap year.
2 days later she calls me telling me she cheated on me the night before.
She said she was sorry and it won't happen again and she just got "caught in the excitement of freshers". They kissed in a night club when dancing together.
I'm now at home, starting a job which i hate. All my friends have gone to uni and i don't know what to do.
I love this girl so much and she says she does too and it was a stupid "drunken mistake". And that she'll never do it again.
The fact that it happened the 2nd day doesnt fill me with much confidence for the next 3/4 years.
Advice and thoughts please!
Thank you
We had fully discussed everything about going to uni and how we would be fine etc.
She goes away to uni. I'm at home having a gap year.
2 days later she calls me telling me she cheated on me the night before.
She said she was sorry and it won't happen again and she just got "caught in the excitement of freshers". They kissed in a night club when dancing together.
I'm now at home, starting a job which i hate. All my friends have gone to uni and i don't know what to do.
I love this girl so much and she says she does too and it was a stupid "drunken mistake". And that she'll never do it again.
The fact that it happened the 2nd day doesnt fill me with much confidence for the next 3/4 years.
Advice and thoughts please!
Thank you
where do these things happen ?!!!!!!! :d
To be honest 'freshers' is not an excuse for cheating, it does not make it any better.
If she cared about you as much as you think she does, she would not have done this. Loads of people go through freshers and are in long distance relationships throughout uni without cheating, so she has no excuse. The fact she was even tempted to cheat just shows that she probably won't stay faithful, it does not take a lot to think, 'oh wait I have a boyfriend, I can't do this'.
You are better off without her. Sorry if this is hurtful, but I am just giving my honest opinion.
If she cared about you as much as you think she does, she would not have done this. Loads of people go through freshers and are in long distance relationships throughout uni without cheating, so she has no excuse. The fact she was even tempted to cheat just shows that she probably won't stay faithful, it does not take a lot to think, 'oh wait I have a boyfriend, I can't do this'.
You are better off without her. Sorry if this is hurtful, but I am just giving my honest opinion.
I suppose it's good that she told you but I don't really believe in the drunk-plea.
She drank the alcohol. She danced with the guy. She kissed the guy.
I would say you should probably call time on it, cheating just ruins relationships and it wont be the same now.
Good luck with it either way.
She drank the alcohol. She danced with the guy. She kissed the guy.
I would say you should probably call time on it, cheating just ruins relationships and it wont be the same now.
Good luck with it either way.
Original post by iammarmite
I'm not sure what you should do- not many girls that I know would have the gutso to ring up their boyfriend and admit their mistake.
Plus everyone deserves second chances and all that. I would keep things as they are personally and if she does it again- get rid.
Plus everyone deserves second chances and all that. I would keep things as they are personally and if she does it again- get rid.
Lolz she will OBVIOUSLY not report the potential second time and she will do it frequently if he will just go sit down and eat mushrooms.
Original post by johndoranglasgow
I suppose it's good that she told you but I don't really believe in the drunk-plea.
She drank the alcohol. She danced with the guy. She kissed the guy.
She drank the alcohol. She danced with the guy. She kissed the guy.
She should never have gone further than drinking the alcohol, IMO.
she lasted 2 days man. why stress yourself out for the next 3 or 4 years?
My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years but 2 of those years have had to be long-distance due to university, so I know the struggle and I wish you well. From my personal experiences, the first 6 months of separation are the hardest, after which, being sensitive to each other's schedules and plans almost becomes ritual. However, it doesn't appear she thought too seriously about remaining in a solid relationship... everyone knows what can/tends to happen at freshers and her mentality was to completely chill out herself without considering the situation at the event (i.e., many guys looking for a flirt, and that she is certainly NOT single). It's obviously OK to enjoy yourself and have fun, but being in a relationship does bring with it a certain type of responsibility which she completely neglected. Personally, I wouldn't trust her. I'm sure she knew, from your conversations, that you'd be anxious about the long distance and that the first few months in particular would be very important for you both in determining what to do next.
No matter what, if you truly care for someone, you don't suddenly forget about them and their feelings in a spur of a moment!
You must remember it will never be the same again as things like this cannot simply be forgotten... 'the cracks can be filled with glue but they will forever be visible' kinda thing.
No matter what, if you truly care for someone, you don't suddenly forget about them and their feelings in a spur of a moment!
You must remember it will never be the same again as things like this cannot simply be forgotten... 'the cracks can be filled with glue but they will forever be visible' kinda thing.
Original post by Nomx93
Get rid. Fresher's happens every year so will she get caught up in the moment every year it comes along. Ask the question would she forgive you if you'd done that to her? Don't be a door mat, you're better than that I'm sure...
It was the first and only time, she was honest and immediately told him, the cheating involved 'only' kissing and she promised to never do it again => she seems like a generally trustworthy person who regrets what she's done and learned her lesson - she could have just not told him about it, but she decided to be honest.
You're respond is overhasty, immature, rubbish.
@Neggers: You've all lead an impeccable life, haven't you?
Oh, and btw, I've never cheated (edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Sir Fox
It was the first and only time, she was honest and immediately told him, the cheating involved 'only' kissing and she promised to never do it again => she seems like a generally trustworthy person who regrets what she's done and learned her lesson.
You're respond is overhasty, immature, rubbish.
You're respond is overhasty, immature, rubbish.
Lol at "promising never to do it again". Of course she'll say that.
My ex did the same while I was stuck working on my gap year. In my opinion there is no excuse for cheating, if you truly love someone you do not hurt them the way cheating hurts. Dump her faster than a sack of potatoes.
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