The Student Room Group

Should a woman wait for the man to get in touch?

Now everyone knows that the men are supposed to do all the chasing, but is it wrong if a woman does?
Basically Im kinda seeing someone and most of the time im the one that has to phone him to arrange when i come round, ( he has no cred so its difficult!!) Ive said to him i dont really like having to phone bcause it makes me look obsessive- he claims it doesnt. Now i said to him this week that unless he gets in touch with me im not going to phone him. Now he probably wont call ( I will be impressed if he does though), but i was just wondering should i leave it and wait and if he doesnt get in touch let it go, or shall i phone him!? And if so how long should i wait.
Its not like i get the feeling that hes off with me, because when i phone he normally suggests time and date etc then i see whether i can or not, and he does text me now and again off his mates phone but basically what should i do?? He isnt funny in person neither so i think he likes me. Lol sorry if this sounds childish but its a common problem for women!
Sleep with his best friend to teach him a lesson.
Reply 2
no. all are equal. i hate those old fashioned ideas..
Anonymous
its a common problem for women!
- true

i'd give it two maybe three days i suppose it depends on the situation but you don't want him to think you've gone off him or that you're completely and utterely fixated on him
tough one
I'd say leave it. If he wants you badly, he'll get in touch no matter what with his phone etc. If he doesn't, why do you want him anyway? I think if you have to think about it you feel that it's about time to be in a relationship where you don't need to put in 90% of the effort to date a guy.
Reply 5
tanusha-tomsk
I'd say leave it. If he wants you badly, he'll get in touch no matter what with his phone etc. If he doesn't, why do you want him anyway? I think if you have to think about it you feel that it's about time to be in a relationship where you don't need to put in 90% of the effort to date a guy.

Exactly. Oh and btw are you two seeing eachother? Because if you are there's no point. If he does not even try to phone you or get in contact with you. If he really cared i think he would talk to you more oftern.
force him 2 use MSN - the worlds best invention:p:
i was in this situation, and i ended up leaving it and never heard from him again...!
Reply 8
It's a bit sad that he doesn't call you. Text him your home number and tell him he has to call you to arrange something and then leave it. Surely he has a house phone? Good luck. X X X
Reply 9
By the way, I mean text him your home number and tell him to call you then don't text or call him - wait to see if he does or not. X X X
Reply 10
I have/had a similar problem, my boyfriend says he'll call and never does so in theory im like yeh leave him and he can contact me, but in theory it rarely works like that as i always give in. But once i left him and didnt contact him for a few days and he soon got the hint and rang or texted me or what ever. as my mum says you have to let them do some work or they'll just take it for granted and be lazy.

How long ago did you talk to him about this?

As said previously if he's really bothered and interested he'll make contact unless there is some really really urgent situation in which he can't.
I've had the same kind of thing the past couple of weeks...where it feels like I'm the one doing all the chasing...but things are starting look up now because the guy has started to make an effort. It's ok for a girl to make a move, it's not the middle ages
Reply 12
Lol no he doesnt have a house phone, hes got his own flat without it ! Ok so im gonna wait a week at least, then i will ring if not just so i can talk things through a bit more. We arent officially seeing each other, its not serious or anything, so i dont want to appear as though im nagging him!! I told him this on thurs and he said he will use his mates phone or people from work to text me, and he said he will get try and get cred this thurs- so shall i wait till sat? XX
no its bloody not wrong you want to speak to him then speak to him,
women got the vote and the right to drive:biggrin: and they can now make the first move as well. Its not hard.
Reply 14
It doesnt make me appear needy and desperate?? Shall i wait then or not? Im soo confused :s-smilie:
Reply 15
anyone ?
Reply 16
Well there is this guy I USED to like, i always initiated converstaions on msn or always got him to call me back. He didn't seem to mind- he just could never be bothered to initiate stuff!
Reply 17
Well like you gals got the wrong end of the deal like I have... I gotta do all the contacting, the organising meet ups and what not... yes it sucks.
Reply 18
Anonymous
Now everyone knows that the men are supposed to do all the chasing, but is it wrong if a woman does?
Basically Im kinda seeing someone and most of the time im the one that has to phone him to arrange when i come round, ( he has no cred so its difficult!!) Ive said to him i dont really like having to phone bcause it makes me look obsessive- he claims it doesnt. Now i said to him this week that unless he gets in touch with me im not going to phone him. Now he probably wont call ( I will be impressed if he does though), but i was just wondering should i leave it and wait and if he doesnt get in touch let it go, or shall i phone him!? And if so how long should i wait.
Its not like i get the feeling that hes off with me, because when i phone he normally suggests time and date etc then i see whether i can or not, and he does text me now and again off his mates phone but basically what should i do?? He isnt funny in person neither so i think he likes me. Lol sorry if this sounds childish but its a common problem for women!


My mate is exactly the same its always me doing the calling, arranging. I think thats how he likes it and appriciates it though he's probably just lazy. If he doesn't phone you now though then he's obviously not that bothered about you