Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Confusing Guy: Opinions Appreciated watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (posting as anonymous as friends sometimes may look at these forums and they'd give me a ).

    Okay so right now I'm feeling a little confused. About 4/5 weeks ago I started seeing this great guy (or so I thought) we got on really well from the beginning and everything seemed to be going great. We were both agreed on not jumping head first into a relationship (he was only a few months out of a long term relationship) but we'd just see how things went and so were just seeing eachother.

    I had to come back home for Easter last week but we'd spoke pretty much everyday until now and he still seemed really keen, phoning me, texting me, talking on MSN and planning lots of things to do together once I was back. He was even gonna come up and stay and then he'd drive me back to where we go to uni when it was time to go back.

    Today he was being a bit off with me so I pushed it and he told me he'd kissed another girl on Friday night (I felt a bit jealous but was gonna be fine about it as we were just seeing eachother), then he told me that he wanted to see this girl again but he didn't want to until he'd cleaned the air with me. He said he didn't think it'd be fair to either me or the other girl to see both of us and so he thought it would be better if we just tried to be friends and he was gonna start seeing this girl. Of course by this point I was feeling a bit upset and angry. He said he felt that would be the best thing to do because this girl lived near to him and it would have been awkward when I went home for summer. And it wasn't that there was anything wrong with me, I was all anybody could ask for, blah, blah, blah. So basically the distance. Although I think he did like this girl beforehand too.

    Now, of course he's done nothing wrong and infact he really couldn't have been more honest with me if he tried, but I can't help feeling a little confused and hurt. During the time I was seeing him we became close very quickly. He tell me he was jealous when I spent time with my friends and not him. He would always offer to come and pick my friends and I up from places (even at 2am in the morning) so he could see me or meet me back at my house, he'd told his mum about me to the extent all his mum's friends knew about me, he'd asked me if I wanted to meet his mum when I was back after easter, he was always making compilation CDs for us to listen to together, he asked me to go out with him and all his housemates so I could meet them all, he had his MSN name about me, he was even insist on picking my mum up from the train station so he could meet her. And lots of other stuff too.

    I knew he didn't want a girlfriend right now, but I am stupid for thinking that maybe we could have been going somewhere? All my friends really can't believe he's done it cause they've seen the way he's been too.

    One of my mates suggested that maybe he was scared of how well it was going? Also that he hasn't as such chosen her over me, just that he's chosen the easiest situation.

    Thing is I'd never once been possessive over him or demanded he be my boyfriend etc. I was happy with how things were going. I feel like I'm 16 again (when I'm actually 21!)

    So yeah I'm really confused about this complete 180 he's done and would like to hear people's opinions who aren't connected to the situation at all.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    awwwww!

    i know what its like, i left things a bit open with someone just before easter, the uni holidays are a pain for relationship stuff!
    i went home and pulled my ex, n the girl from uni has probably done the same! i was a bit worried about it to start with, but i realised there was no problem, as we hadn't committed or anything, and maybe it was going nowhere anyway!

    these things happen, i think you should just move on, for now at least. maybe he'll realise when he comes back to uni that he wants you really!

    you could be right about things going too well worrying him, if he's anything like me, i've called things off because i've been worried about getting too close before now :confused:

    hope i've been helpful (i doubt it tho lol)
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe he realised he didnt like you as much as he originally thought???
    We all know this can happen so maybe it was just a infactuation, i cant see it being himt aking the easiest option, as if he liked you that much he would never do such a thing anyway.
    To be honest i dont think you should worry to much about it, theres nothing wrong with you personally im sure if thats how you feel.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I asked him if he still would have pulled her had I still been down there and not in uni and he said he wouldn't have cause he was happy how things were going with us ... this confused me further.

    I could see that maybe he really does like this girl (why she's waited until now to show an interest I really don't know), but we'd been completely open and honest about everything and we'd kinda talked about the 'other people' stuff and he said he appreciated that although we were properly together that there was some commitment there and he didn't even like anyone like that anyways ...

    Meh ... men :p:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Meh ... men :p:
    yes, we are crap
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I asked him if he still would have pulled her had I still been down there and not in uni and he said he wouldn't have cause he was happy how things were going with us ... this confused me further.
    Well hes being nice, i mean can you imagine him going
    "Yeah i would of still pulled her like i care :p: "
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by drawmeamonkey)
    awwwww!

    i know what its like, i left things a bit open with someone just before easter, the uni holidays are a pain for relationship stuff!
    i went home and pulled my ex, n the girl from uni has probably done the same! i was a bit worried about it to start with, but i realised there was no problem, as we hadn't committed or anything, and maybe it was going nowhere anyway!

    these things happen, i think you should just move on, for now at least. maybe he'll realise when he comes back to uni that he wants you really!

    you could be right about things going too well worrying him, if he's anything like me, i've called things off because i've been worried about getting too close before now :confused:

    hope i've been helpful (i doubt it tho lol)
    Yeah if it was just the fact he'd pulled someone it wouldn't have overly bothered me and I think we could have moved on from it ... but obviously this girl is there now and I'm not for another week and a bit.

    I am moving on talked to my mates for ages today and I'm feeling a lot better about it now than I was before. He can bugger off if he think he can just get back with me. He's been rather definite about what he wants to do (although he did say he hadn't had long to think about it and he may have made the wrong decision?) but yeah, he can take a running jump.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MNBStyle)
    Well hes being nice, i mean can you imagine him going
    "Yeah i would of still pulled her like i care :p: "
    I can actually, he's very open about things, and although I don't think he would have put it quite like that, I know he told me the truth when I asked him that question.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can actually, he's very open about things, and although I don't think he would have put it quite like that, I know he told me the truth when I asked him that question.
    Ok so basically he must like this girl just as much, but its just more easier with this girl.
    and he maybe honest, but people are never that honest, he may well of still got with this girl but not got off with her so quick.
    But at the end of the day, its not you thats the problem so why get worked up searching for a reason
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MNBStyle)
    Ok so basically he must like this girl just as much, but its just more easier with this girl.
    and he maybe honest, but people are never that honest, he may well of still got with this girl but not got off with her so quick.
    But at the end of the day, its not you thats the problem so why get worked up searching for a reason
    Well that's the conclusion I've come to.
    My friend on the other hand thinks he was intimidated by because I'm attractive, bright, have good prospects, am funny, caring etc ... but I think she was just trying to be nice
    And I'm female, of course I'm searching for a reason :p:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Girls, what do you think?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    He's been honest and can't really c a nicer way that he could of explained the situation to you.
    Sounds like a a bit of a pro.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Is there a possibility that he thought he was doing all the giving, and not receiving as much in return? (Perhaps he was worried that you weren't as fond of him as he was of you.)
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Yeah completely, and he knows I appreciate his honesty in the situation.

    I don't think he really understands why I feel so bummed out though, but from what I wrote about in my first post, he was coming on strongely wasn't he? You don't do all of that for someone you're just having sex with. I thought him telling his mum all about me was a pretty good indicator of that ...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Champagne-Dahling)
    Is there a possibility that he thought he was doing all the giving, and not receiving as much in return? (Perhaps he was worried that you weren't as fond of him as he was of you.)
    I'm not really sure. I mean I did always make an effort with him. I looked after him after he turned up at 5am on my doorstep after a night out for his birthday, bought him a birthday present that he really loved etc. It wasn't him asking me to do stuff all the time, I'd ask him to do stuff too.

    He seems really keen to stay friends but I'm really not sure. Obviously not straight away (like he seems to want), but we do get on really well and have a laugh with him so I'm sure whether to try and be friends once I'm back down at uni or just be civil with him if I see him out and about.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Okay I have been reliably informed that when he was talking to one of his friends about it he said it was all about the distance and nothing to do with me cause he thinks I'm amazing (his words not mine *ha ha*). Meh. Still seems a bit of a rash decision to me ...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Pretty Boy)
    Are you amazing? I mean, like do you have special powers and stuff?
    *ha ha* apparently I have some pretty damn good skills ...

    Meh, I saw a photo of the other girl ...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Pretty Boy)
    Do you think that she's better looking than you?
    I'm not sure cos she's not pulling a very attractive pose. She's not ugly. But I wouldn't say she was overly pretty. I'm not sure how I'd say I compare, maybe the same/slightly better. Of course all my mates are saying she's not a patch on me, but they're a bit biased. She looks a bit boney too.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Ha ha no I just don't think she's all that lush (but not ugly at all). And of course she could be an absolutely lovely girl ... but I think I am too :p: I even sat and watched match of the day with him! lol.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Girls, what do you think?
    Well....its a real crazy situation!? I feel really bad for u hun, but I guess if he's going to be like that youre better off without him...maybe he's insecure...things always work out for the best

    With my bf for example...we like got off on a school trip (HE came onto me :cool: ) and then we were like all couply for one day after that...then he reeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllll llllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy confused me but turning 180 completely and going from cant take his hands off me...to...not wanting to talk to me anymore.....
    anyway I was really upset as were my friends....It turned out he didnt want a relationship, which is all understandable....but 2 days later he asked if we could give it another shot and see how it goes.....
    ..........and we've been together 6 months tomorrow

    (NOTE TO MY BF) sorry lovely for bringing you up but its extremely relevant because you boys despite your loveliness are HELLA confusing..but I love you!

    bk to the scenario...................Ive come to the conclusion that MEN ARE CONFUSING :eek: Im sure most girls would agree
    just see what happens...move on perhaps and start meeting other people! take advantage of being single!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx good luck
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 12, 2006
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.