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dirty joke thread watch

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    yay dirty jokes! post them here if you know any.

    here's mine:
    Q - How do you stop your next door neighbors children from jumping your fence?
    A - Molest them.

    Q. whats black and white and red and can't turn in an elevator?
    A. a nun with a spear through her head

    Q: What do you get if you cut a baby in half with a chainsaw?
    A: An erection
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    too dirty
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    Those aren't even remotely funny. They're morbid, if I may add.
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    (Original post by dementedbunny)
    Q: What do you get if you cut a baby in half with a chainsaw?
    A: An erection
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA that is brilliant.
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    (Original post by dementedbunny)
    Q: What do you get if you cut a baby in half with a chainsaw?
    A: An erection

    Lol! I love dead baby jokes, I've put them in a spoiler thing incase you dont, although what you are doing on this thread im not sure:

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Q: What's brown and goes round and round?
    A: A baby in a microwave

    Q: What is funnier than a dead baby?
    A: A dead baby in a clown costume

    Q: How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
    A: With a blender
    Q: How do you get them out again?
    A: With Doritos

    Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
    A: Take your foot off its head
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    (Original post by rpotter)
    Lol! I love dead baby jokes, I've put them in a spoiler thing incase you dont, although what you are doing on this thread im not sure:

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Q: What's brown and goes round and round?
    A: A baby in a microwave

    Q: What is funnier than a dead baby?
    A: A dead baby in a clown costume

    Q: How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
    A: With a blender
    Q: How do you get them out again?
    A: With Doritos

    Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
    A: Take your foot off its head
    Heheheheheh those are so good. You gotta love the baby jokes.. I just don't see how people can't find them funny, it's such blunt humour it's amusing.
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    (Original post by The Ace is Back)
    Heheheheheh those are so good. You gotta love the baby jokes.. I just don't see how people can't find them funny, it's such blunt humour it's amusing.
    Lol, yer, I remember last year in Physics we spent a whole lesson telling these jokes! Even made up some of our own, and the teacher was telling the best ones! They are so so crude, but I cant really explain why they are extremely funny, although I have found that in general women dont like them as much probably because their maternal instinct doesn't like the idea of a baby in a blender...:p:
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    You don't have to be a woman to dislike such morbid jokes. How the heck can anyone find them funny? :eek:
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    (Original post by Knogle)
    You don't have to be a woman to dislike such morbid jokes. How the heck can anyone find them funny? :eek:
    Its just the shock value, they are so shocking you just laugh...
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    (Original post by Knogle)
    You don't have to be a woman to dislike such morbid jokes. How the heck can anyone find them funny? :eek:
    'Acquired taste' I suppose. Bloody good jokes though
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    hahah sorry take no offense. i guess i'm just inherently morbid
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    this one is quite offensive, so look away.

    A girl goes up to her father one night and says, "Dad, can I have the car tonight?"
    Her father looks at her thoughtfully and says, "Sure, if you give me a blowjob."
    So the girl puts his penis in her mouth and almost immediately spits it back out.
    "Your penis tastes like ****!" she cries.
    "Oh yeah," her father replied, "I forgot I loaned the car to your brother tonight."
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    (Original post by dementedbunny)
    this one is quite offensive, so look away.

    A girl goes up to her father one night and says, "Dad, can I have the car tonight?"
    Her father looks at her thoughtfully and says, "Sure, if you give me a blowjob."
    So the girl puts his penis in her mouth and almost immediately spits it back out.
    "Your penis tastes like ****!" she cries.
    "Oh yeah," her father replied, "I forgot I loaned the car to your brother tonight."
    That isnt offensive, more like disgusting!!!!! Ewwwwwwwwww
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    Whats more fun than swinging a baby on a clothesline? stopping it with a cricketbat.
    Whats more fun than 10 babies in a bucket? One baby in 10 buckets
    Whats black and sits at the top of stairwells? Paraplegic after a housefire.
    Whats pink and sticky and crawls up young girls legs? A homesick abortion.
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    (Original post by rpotter)
    That isnt offensive, more like disgusting!!!!! Ewwwwwwwwww
    haha good because i don't like offending people who aren't asking to be offended.
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    A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says,
    "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!"

    The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

    Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come
    running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"

    The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all that, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

    The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up some heroin.
    "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"

    The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the sh*t out of the little rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"

    The lion answers, "That little *****er makes me run around the forest like an idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"
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    One night a little boy woke up in the middle of the night after a rather scary nightmare.So he went into his parents room and got into their bed.His parents were naked and out of curiosity,the boy pointed down and said to his dad 'What's that daddy?'

    He replied,'It's a bear.'

    He then turned to his mother and pointed to her *area* and again,asked 'What's that mummy?'

    She replied 'It's a forest.'

    A few minutes later the boy exclaimed 'Mummy mummy the bear is going into your forest,look out!'

    Oooh there's also....

    One day a little boy was talking to his mother when curiosity took over and he pointed to her chest asking 'What are those?'

    She replied 'They are balloons.When I die they will get blown up and I'll be taken to heaven....'

    Later on,the milkman came around to deliver the milk and he disappeared with the boy's mother for some time.

    The boy followed them upstairs to see what they were doing,horrified he ran downstairs to find his father just arriving home.

    When asked what was wrong the boy replied 'Mummy's dying!The milkman's blowing her balloons and she's shouting 'Oh god I'm coming.'
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    ^^^lol
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    Q: Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby?

    A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage
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    heheheheheheh
 
 
 

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