Homesick to the point of tears.
I'm 18 and I've moved into uni this weekend. I'm incredibly homesick; I've never been away from home for more than 2 days and even then that was only 3 times a few years ago.
I know I need to 'man up' and 'just deal with it', but it's very hard for me to do. I miss the bed I've had all my life. I miss my family already and I'm about 2 hours away on the train from them. I know it's not that far away but realistically I can't see them that often.
I've been crying and I've been sick a few times. I can't stand not being at home; everything is so different and I've lost the security I used to have (the only place I've ever felt really safe is in my bedroom and now I don't have that any more).
What can I do?
I know I need to 'man up' and 'just deal with it', but it's very hard for me to do. I miss the bed I've had all my life. I miss my family already and I'm about 2 hours away on the train from them. I know it's not that far away but realistically I can't see them that often.
I've been crying and I've been sick a few times. I can't stand not being at home; everything is so different and I've lost the security I used to have (the only place I've ever felt really safe is in my bedroom and now I don't have that any more).
What can I do?
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I found that after the first evening I was too busy to be particularly homesick. But I did find having a few familiar things like photos of family to put up and an old teddy bear helped make the room seem a bit cosier 
Do you have a bedtime routine? (Pyjamas-music-hot chocolate?). It will get better and you will soon make your own routine.
Do you have a bedtime routine? (Pyjamas-music-hot chocolate?). It will get better and you will soon make your own routine.
Welcome to the real world.
Edit: for all those posting sympathy, it's just feeding his self pity. Wake up OP. self pity has no benefit.
Edit: for all those posting sympathy, it's just feeding his self pity. Wake up OP. self pity has no benefit.
(edited 11 years ago)
Keep yourself busy. The pain will eventually go away. Whatever you do don't stifle with your emotions. Let it all out and have a good cry every now and then.
Big hugggs <3
If you feel a completely overwhelming urge to go home, set yourself a goal; give yourself two weeks at uni and then pop home at the weekend for a visit, something like that so you KNOW that you can see your family and home again really soon. Make yourself a list of everything you want to do each evening for the next day and then do it- it'll give you more of a focus. Make sure you're around people a lot. This doesn't necessarily have to involve drinking all day every day - get involved in some societies.
You will not be the only one, not by a long way Now you're there though, it's better to try and make the best of it, even if you are badly missing home, right? A little bit longer and you'll be fine. You've worked hard to be there, don't back out because you're finding it really tough at first <3 Keep at it... Add some more personal touches to your room. Enjoy yourself as best you can, please don't make yourself ill over it- think about the wider perspective. Cheer up chickie
If you feel a completely overwhelming urge to go home, set yourself a goal; give yourself two weeks at uni and then pop home at the weekend for a visit, something like that so you KNOW that you can see your family and home again really soon. Make yourself a list of everything you want to do each evening for the next day and then do it- it'll give you more of a focus. Make sure you're around people a lot. This doesn't necessarily have to involve drinking all day every day - get involved in some societies.
You will not be the only one, not by a long way
Now you're there though, it's better to try and make the best of it, even if you are badly missing home, right? A little bit longer and you'll be fine. You've worked hard to be there, don't back out because you're finding it really tough at first <3 Keep at it... Add some more personal touches to your room. Enjoy yourself as best you can, please don't make yourself ill over it- think about the wider perspective. Cheer up chickie 
It does get easier. This is the time when you'll finally gain your independence and grow from a child to an adult. I appreciate it's difficult to be away from people that you never really have before, but this really will be the making of you - so don't give up. And 2 hours away by train is absolutely fine - you'll be able to visit home regularly if you want. OK so you'll still be away a lot, but you'll still be a part of you're lives and you theirs. My best advice is to arrange a return home for a day or two a few weeks from now, that way you have something to look forward to and can really enjoy your university experience (once you're busy with work it'll be less of an issue too).
Just think you need to move out at some point. You don't want to be living with your parents for the rest of your life and doing it now we'll be easier because you're surrounded by people who are going through the exact same thing.
Once you get over this homesickness you'll probably never have to feel this way again.
Once you get over this homesickness you'll probably never have to feel this way again.
I had the same problem last year. And it is best to keep yourself busy. Last year I was so homesick I attempted to transfer Uni, withdraw and then begged my way back in a week later. Things will get better. It's hard moving on and out away from
Home. But after you've achieved this step. You'll be independent enough to achieve almost any goal on yur own, and that's an amazing feeling. If you keep focusing on all aspects of home you missed, your are going to miss out on all the great new aspects ahead of you. Settling in does take time, and most people will feel like this. Just no one wants to show it. I had to leave my Uni last year later on in the year for medical reasons. And when I returned home I hated it, which is strange compared to how fuss i made on freshers week about missing home. Your in a new place. With new people you don't no, your allowed to be terrified and your allowed to have a good cry, but just try to look forward, it's hard at the start, but trust me, its worth it because after you get settled be prepared for some great 3 years ahead of you
Home. But after you've achieved this step. You'll be independent enough to achieve almost any goal on yur own, and that's an amazing feeling. If you keep focusing on all aspects of home you missed, your are going to miss out on all the great new aspects ahead of you. Settling in does take time, and most people will feel like this. Just no one wants to show it. I had to leave my Uni last year later on in the year for medical reasons. And when I returned home I hated it, which is strange compared to how fuss i made on freshers week about missing home. Your in a new place. With new people you don't no, your allowed to be terrified and your allowed to have a good cry, but just try to look forward, it's hard at the start, but trust me, its worth it because after you get settled be prepared for some great 3 years ahead of you
You will get through that. You may get sad, lonely, even depressed to the point where it doesn't matter anymore and then you will go up. It will be better, trust me. Every students go through these stages of moving away from home to a totally unfamiliar surroundings, some experience that longer, some will be sad for just few days. You will be fine.
You can keep yourself busy, talk to sb and you won't even realise when you are perfectly fine on your own. Just take your time.
You can keep yourself busy, talk to sb and you won't even realise when you are perfectly fine on your own. Just take your time.
Original post by Gold_Crystal
I'm 18 and I've moved into uni this weekend. I'm incredibly homesick; I've never been away from home for more than 2 days and even then that was only 3 times a few years ago.
I know I need to 'man up' and 'just deal with it', but it's very hard for me to do. I miss the bed I've had all my life. I miss my family already and I'm about 2 hours away on the train from them. I know it's not that far away but realistically I can't see them that often.
I've been crying and I've been sick a few times. I can't stand not being at home; everything is so different and I've lost the security I used to have (the only place I've ever felt really safe is in my bedroom and now I don't have that any more).
What can I do?
I know I need to 'man up' and 'just deal with it', but it's very hard for me to do. I miss the bed I've had all my life. I miss my family already and I'm about 2 hours away on the train from them. I know it's not that far away but realistically I can't see them that often.
I've been crying and I've been sick a few times. I can't stand not being at home; everything is so different and I've lost the security I used to have (the only place I've ever felt really safe is in my bedroom and now I don't have that any more).
What can I do?
I felt bad a few days ago too, but don't worry this is completely normal. It will pass within a week or so. What you have to do is get yourself into a routine and your security etc will come back- that's what I have done. Also don't make any rash decisions because what you're feeling now will effect your judgement. If you still feel like this in a couple of weeks, maybe do something about it?! Good luck, and we're all feeling like this so don't worry!
trust me, everyone goes through it... I've just moved a 12 hour flight away from my home and yeah the first week was scary as hell not knowing the language or anyone in the city but it does get better, you will make some amazing friends (it may take time) but you have to force yourself out, pretend you have confidence and you are amazing it will work wonders! Blag it.
I've been away 3 months, i speak to my parents once every 2 weeks or so and loving my life here more than back at home. No where will be home straight away, but just remember they are 2 hours away and you can go back. At least stick it out a few weeks first or you will always regret it and think 'what if?'
I've been away 3 months, i speak to my parents once every 2 weeks or so and loving my life here more than back at home. No where will be home straight away, but just remember they are 2 hours away and you can go back. At least stick it out a few weeks first or you will always regret it and think 'what if?'
Original post by Gold_Crystal
I'm 18 and I've moved into uni this weekend. I'm incredibly homesick; I've never been away from home for more than 2 days and even then that was only 3 times a few years ago.
I know I need to 'man up' and 'just deal with it', but it's very hard for me to do. I miss the bed I've had all my life. I miss my family already and I'm about 2 hours away on the train from them. I know it's not that far away but realistically I can't see them that often.
I've been crying and I've been sick a few times. I can't stand not being at home; everything is so different and I've lost the security I used to have (the only place I've ever felt really safe is in my bedroom and now I don't have that any more).
What can I do?
I know I need to 'man up' and 'just deal with it', but it's very hard for me to do. I miss the bed I've had all my life. I miss my family already and I'm about 2 hours away on the train from them. I know it's not that far away but realistically I can't see them that often.
I've been crying and I've been sick a few times. I can't stand not being at home; everything is so different and I've lost the security I used to have (the only place I've ever felt really safe is in my bedroom and now I don't have that any more).
What can I do?
I feel the same ive been constantly crying and already thought about switching back to a uni closer to home, is that possible for you? im going to try and give it a couple of weeks and if i still hate it then im going to have to seriously consider moving back. what uni you at? if you want to talk message me on here i think its good to speak to people who feel the same because right now i feel like im the only one in my flat missing home which makes it so much worse so feel free to mail me
Talking to uni friends a few weeks ago, out of the girls there wasn't a single one of us who didn't feel homesick or cry in freshers! Its bigged up to be the time of your life and there is a lot of pressure to make friends, get involved, love it and in reality it can be so lonely how ever many people are around you and overwhelming when you haven't been away from home much before.
I promise by about week 5 or 6 you will feel a lot more settled and have got used to being away and feel you have friends.
Its all manic at first, who you hang out with wouln't be who you are really friends with when things settle down and theres so much change.
I know hearing all this isn't going to make your homesickness go away, but i bonded with a lot of housemates through both agreeing we felt exactly the same. The best way to get through it is keep yourself busy, try and avoid being alone in your room. Maybe set 3 or 4 weeks in a weekend to have your parents visit if they can, avoid going home as it makes it a lot worse i promise.
ITS SO HARD, I know, and SO common to feel this way. Just stick it out and you'll be fine soon
I promise by about week 5 or 6 you will feel a lot more settled and have got used to being away and feel you have friends.
Its all manic at first, who you hang out with wouln't be who you are really friends with when things settle down and theres so much change.
I know hearing all this isn't going to make your homesickness go away, but i bonded with a lot of housemates through both agreeing we felt exactly the same. The best way to get through it is keep yourself busy, try and avoid being alone in your room. Maybe set 3 or 4 weeks in a weekend to have your parents visit if they can, avoid going home as it makes it a lot worse i promise.
ITS SO HARD, I know, and SO common to feel this way. Just stick it out and you'll be fine soon
Original post by tigger01
Talking to uni friends a few weeks ago, out of the girls there wasn't a single one of us who didn't feel homesick or cry in freshers! Its bigged up to be the time of your life and there is a lot of pressure to make friends, get involved, love it and in reality it can be so lonely how ever many people are around you and overwhelming when you haven't been away from home much before.
I promise by about week 5 or 6 you will feel a lot more settled and have got used to being away and feel you have friends.
Its all manic at first, who you hang out with wouln't be who you are really friends with when things settle down and theres so much change.
I know hearing all this isn't going to make your homesickness go away, but i bonded with a lot of housemates through both agreeing we felt exactly the same. The best way to get through it is keep yourself busy, try and avoid being alone in your room. Maybe set 3 or 4 weeks in a weekend to have your parents visit if they can, avoid going home as it makes it a lot worse i promise.
ITS SO HARD, I know, and SO common to feel this way. Just stick it out and you'll be fine soon
I promise by about week 5 or 6 you will feel a lot more settled and have got used to being away and feel you have friends.
Its all manic at first, who you hang out with wouln't be who you are really friends with when things settle down and theres so much change.
I know hearing all this isn't going to make your homesickness go away, but i bonded with a lot of housemates through both agreeing we felt exactly the same. The best way to get through it is keep yourself busy, try and avoid being alone in your room. Maybe set 3 or 4 weeks in a weekend to have your parents visit if they can, avoid going home as it makes it a lot worse i promise.
ITS SO HARD, I know, and SO common to feel this way. Just stick it out and you'll be fine soon
Reading this was sickening.
It's not hard. Most people are fine with it.
Original post by concubine
Reading this was sickening.
It's not hard. Most people are fine with it.
It's not hard. Most people are fine with it.
Ditto, I hate it when people say oh everyone feels homesick. No, they don't.
Regardless, OP you said it, you do need to man up and deal with it unless you want to be living with your parents your whole life. It's good for you to learn to be independent and adapt to new places and situations.
Original post by Antifazian
Ditto, I hate it when people say oh everyone feels homesick. No, they don't.
Regardless, OP you said it, you do need to man up and deal with it unless you want to be living with your parents your whole life. It's good for you to learn to be independent and adapt to new places and situations.
Regardless, OP you said it, you do need to man up and deal with it unless you want to be living with your parents your whole life. It's good for you to learn to be independent and adapt to new places and situations.
Ok, yes, not EVERYONE is homesick, but the huge majority are to some degree.
If OP hasn't really been away from home before they are going to feel very weird about it and miss it. Everyone is different, maybe you adjust to things well and are a very secure and confident person.
Not everyone is, telling someone to 'man up' isn't going to magically get rid of overwhelming feelings of homesickness. Unless you've experienced those feelings you have no idea how horrible it can be.
There are coping mechanisms like getting involved and busy with uni and new people, but emotions aren't controlled by switches, you can't just think 'right tme to man up' and turn off all feelings of homesickness.
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