Hello everyone，I am a chinese girl. I learn English recently and write an essay in English for exercise. Would you kindly help me revise this essay? Thank you very much indeed.
Here is my essay and the topic of it is based on a picture below.
The link of the picture: http://blog.diandian.net/blog/member...2005977128.jpg
Nowadays, the difficulty of the college graduates to get employment is universally realized. Unemployment after graduation is not the mere problem for an individual, but a social phenomenon that has aroused the close attention of the public. As we can read in the chart, the percentage of college graduates who got employed during the year they leave school decreases quickly. The number drops from 96% in 1999 to 88% in 2001,4% annually on average. That is to say, almost one fifth of the graduates group is out of work.
There are several causes for the significant problem in my mind. The boom of the college graduates must be the first among all. As in the whole country, the access to the college is expanding handsomely while the available jobs offered by the personnel market are shrinking. The unbalance between the giant students crowd and few work opportunities is the direct reason that give rise to the high rate of unemployment.
The impact from the highly educated intelligent may be the indirect reason. These years, more and more Masters and Doctors rushed into the Human Resource Market. They are knowledgeable and more competitive, so it is easier for them to get a job, While the collegians are harder to do so.
Poor earnings of the first job are the third reason. It's not that the students could not find a job, but that they could not find a suitable job with a decent earning. Maybe their aspiration has far exceeded the reality. In their minds, it is better to eat nothing than eat a little thing. Apparently, their wrong ideas lead the embarrassing situation of unemployment.
To deal with such complicated situation, some tough measures should be laid down by the government. The government has brought out a West Improvement Project, which offers a large number of work opportunities. Although the efficiency of the project is limited, its effect is profound, for it means that our country has decided to get rid of it. It is good news to all of us.