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Nope - but can you give us a bit of background? ie is it a religious thing, do you have any older siblings? if so have they had the same probs? Do you live at home? etc etc
Reply 2
How can they stop you? You're 20 FFS.
yes but i was 18 and my parents found out... not fun. but they are ok now. they realise that since im almost living with him they would lose me if they carried on.
Reply 4
That is the crappest thing I've ever heard :eek:. Why not talk to them? Tell them how you feel and that you're an adult now and can do what you want. They actually can't do anything to stop you so just come out with it.
Im the oldest child,

My parents are quite traditional. They want me to have a boyfriend with the same background and values. However, ive tried that! My last boyfriend was like that who would have been perfect in their eyes and mine but they still wouldn't have accepted it.....

e.g if it came up in conversation or there was a clue that I was in a relationship the atmosphere would change and I knew to just drop it....


p.s OP
Ryan
How can they stop you? You're 20 FFS.


Belive me, they will find ways, I still live under their roof and they'd make my life hell :frown:

e.g not let me go out, take away my phone etc.

Also worried about how they will treat my boyfriend
Reply 7
That is mad, you are TWENTY, you're an ADULT. Why dont you move out?

Your not a child anymore, if you were 16 and they were taking your phone away this would be more understandable but now? They cant stop you going out.
:eek: that sounds mightily harsh

have you sat down with them and talked about having a bf? Aking them why they are being so restrictive? Why they can't see that at 20 are an adult and expect to be treated as such? Explain that fair enough if thry impose house rules (such as no sex etc) you'd abide by it when there, but that you need ome independance?

On the other hand if they're still intent on being unreasonsbale...um..threaten to move out?
that is riduculous, if i had parents like that (obviously with a girlfreind and not boyfreind scenario) i'd have ran off and started a new life by now.

tell them to eff off and that your your own person
xXMessedUpXx
...um..threaten to move out?


I dont really want it to come to that (plus I dont have the money :eek: )
I want to be able to keep a good relationship with them, and moving out won't solve the problem, they would probably stop talking to me if I move out anyway....
Reply 11
My parents stopped talking to me when I moved out, it hasn't done me any harm.

Cant you move in with your boyfriend until they realise how stupid they are being?
Anonymous
Yes that's right I'm 20 years old and my parents won't let me have a boyfriend (tho this hasn't stopped me :wink: )

It's just frustrating now I want them to meet but I know if I even mention it to them they will freak :eek:

How can I make them more accepting and less suffocating?

Has anyone been through this?

yes, i'm inthe same position. I'm 19 now. My parents didn't say anything bout this topic but i know my dad will peal my skin off if i dare to tell him i've got a bf. But my mum was cool but not encouraging tho. She said it's fine if i have one in Uni:redface:
I appreciate your responses but I dont think your realise the difficulty of my position....

I cant really run away or tell them to **** off

also Ive got younger siblings, if the problem isnt resolved now by me then when it come to them bringing home boyfriends/girlfriends the same cycle will occur and the family will be broken up.....
cookiecrumble
I appreciate your responses but I dont think your realise the difficulty of my position....

I cant really run away or tell them to **** off

also Ive got younger siblings, if the problem isnt resolved now by me then when it come to them bringing home boyfriends/girlfriends the same cycle will occur and the family will be broken up.....

I'm in exactly the same position as yours. I'm the eldest as well. I just kinda keep my relationship in secret and let my bf know my reason. Most of them will understand.
You're an adult, you dont have to acquiesce to your parent's demands your whole life, just cos they're your parents doesn't maKe them right! If it takes you telling them to **** off, or evn moving out, for them to realise where they're going wrong, then maybe it should be done
Anonymous
Yes that's right I'm 20 years old and my parents won't let me have a boyfriend (tho this hasn't stopped me :wink: )

It's just frustrating now I want them to meet but I know if I even mention it to them they will freak :eek:

How can I make them more accepting and less suffocating?

Has anyone been through this?


Wow I'm in the same situation! I'm 23 and my dad still doesn't know I have a partner of 3 years. I'm worried that if he finds out he'll get violent with my mother whom he lives with (he could twist this whole situation and blame her). I simply don't want to endanger my mothers life like that, its not worth the benefit of being open about the relationship for that. He has a history of violence (me + sisters + mother had to live in a women's refuge for a while because of it) but this situation is crazy. He's so traditional and in denial about the culture he has brought me into (hes from the middle east).

What are we gonna do? :eek: I'd love my father to meet my boyfriend, but I just can't see it happening. :frown:

Luckily my partner is understanding (like the post above me)...I just don't know if I can keep this up much longer. It sucks.
Reply 17
Just don't tell them. Simple.
cookiecrumble
Belive me, they will find ways, I still live under their roof and they'd make my life hell :frown:

e.g not let me go out, take away my phone etc.

Also worried about how they will treat my boyfriend


If you are actually 20... you've got to be kidding. Not letting you out? that's nothing short of holding you under duress which, last time I checked, was very illegal.

You need to make it clear they can either unconditionally support you as an adult, or you will walk away. They sound like they need a good backhanding.
Reply 19
Without telling them to **** off your can be very reasonable and explain the situation to them.
Firstly you have to be strong and be willing to suffer their first reaction?
If they pay for your phone yes they can take it off you but they can't stop you from going out at 20.
It may be hard at first but if you show what you are willing to sacafise to allow this then they will sit down and talk it over with you.
Don't be rude but be firm.
Bullets can't kill beliefs :smile: