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Can you turn a 1 night stand into a relationship?

I'd like to hear other people's opinions on this one. I've had 2 relationships which came from one night stands..admittedly these were both people who I knew before & was friendly with, not total strangers.

Have others had successful relationships after having had a one night stand that turned into more?

Reply 1

Barny

17

Not had anything long term from a 1 night stand, few flings, infact I've never had a 1 night stand as such, as I've always seen them again. I don't see why you can't develop a relationship from a 1 night stand anyway..

Reply 2

need_money

9

Yeah my relationship with my boyfriend just now came from a one-night stand. :smile:

Had that happen quite a few times infact.

Reply 3

gideon2000uk

9

By definition surely a one night stand ceases to be a one night stand when you turn it into a relationship. So. No. The logic of the question is floored!

Reply 4

need_money

9

Not really. If it was intended as a one night stand.

Reply 5

Drogue

19

I've had a one night stand turn into a weekend long stand and then a full blown and utterly wonderful long term relationship.

I guess for the pedants out there the questions should really be "have you ever slept with someone the first time you met them and it turned into a relationship", since they would be correct that with a relationship afterwards, it's not a one night stand.

Reply 6

need_money

9

Yeah but you could sleep with someone after just meeting them with the intention of never seeing each other again and then it just doesn't turn out that way.

Reply 7

Drogue

19

Exactly, which is what I think the thread starter was asking. It's not technically a one night stand, however, whatever your intentions, since a one night stand is, by definition, a one off. We all know what the thread starter means, but gideon was just being a pedant.

Reply 8

Nix!

11

gideon2000uk

By definition surely a one night stand ceases to be a one night stand when you turn it into a relationship. So. No. The logic of the question is floored!

I just thought i'd point out that it's "flawed" and not "floored" for your future pendantic use. :p:

Reply 9

gideon2000uk

9

Nix!

I just thought i'd point out that it's "flawed" and not "floored" for your future pendantic use. :p:

Hey thanks for that! Hehe.

I enjoy being corrected... and I did have a deeper point about the distinction between sex and love in these supposed one night stands which I was going to raise.

Surely, if you have a one night stand and then it turns into a relationship it ceases to be 'casual sex' and it becomes 'making love' - which are two distinct things.

I think part of the definition of a one night stand is that it involves very little emotion. We use each other as objects and we move on (which is why I've never done it) and so I'm still not terribly happy with the question... however I am happy that it made me think a bit.

Reply 10

Nix!

11

A one night stand by definition usually implies that the people concerned move on afterwards. The fact that it turns into a relationship only serves to suggest it's no longer a one-night stand. Although, I think alot of it is down to intention and the intention on the night will be different to afterwards, if it turned into something more. The fact that it turns into something more suggests to me that the people involved were both hoping for something more to begin with and as such means it wasn't truely a one night stand.

Did that make sense?

Reply 11

Kernel

1

Yeah I guess its worth a try.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

gideon2000uk

Surely, if you have a one night stand and then it turns into a relationship it ceases to be 'casual sex' and it becomes 'making love' - which are two distinct things.

Not really that different. A lot of girls' desire for either is for affection, whether it be from a stranger or a boyfriend.

Plus many guys would get really pissed off if they were told by their girlfriend "we don't have rough, casual sex, we make love". It's not because you're in a relationship, that you don't want to have rough sex devoid of lovey-dovey stuff.

To the original poster, yes it can but it's probably not the best solution to get into a relationship. If you want a guy/girl to want a relationship with you, there are better ways to convince them. Some people make the mistake of settling for a one night stand with someone they really want to be with because it seems like the only way to get close to them... never a good idea but otherwise, if you don't really know someone, end up sleeping with them and realise there might be a connection and you want to get to know them more then why not... it's actually a nice start to a relationship in my opinion.

Reply 13

zav

14

Anonymous

Not really that different. A lot of girls' desire for either is for affection, whether it be from a stranger or a boyfriend.

Plus many guys would get really pissed off if they were told by their girlfriend "we don't have rough, casual sex, we make love". It's not because you're in a relationship, that you don't want to have rough sex devoid of lovey-dovey stuff.

To the original poster, yes it can but it's probably not the best solution to get into a relationship. If you want a guy/girl to want a relationship with you, there are better ways to convince them. Some people make the mistake of settling for a one night stand with someone they really want to be with because it seems like the only way to get close to them... never a good idea but otherwise, if you don't really know someone, end up sleeping with them and realise there might be a connection and you want to get to know them more then why not... it's actually a nice start to a relationship in my opinion.

You don't need to post anon for this there is no reason to.

And yes you can but it does not often happen as a 1 night stand is usually two people just wanting a bit off fun.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

I think part of the definition of a one night stand is that it involves very little emotion. We use each other as objects and we move on (which is why I've never done it) and so I'm still not terribly happy with the question... however I am happy that it made me think a bit.

It's never that simple. Many people have one-night stands or ****friends for emotional reasons. You should distinguish "emotions" and actual soppy romance. People on here often get the two mixed up.

If we have sex, if we have one night stands, it's because of emotions. We want to feel a certain way, and not just physically... the only reason casual sex is sometimes chosen is when people can't deal with the relationship and social side of things (ashamed of being seen with the person they're sleeping with, don't want to commit, can't be bothered with a girlfriend/boyfriend). It doesn't mean they're not "feeling" any emotions.

One other thing: when you sleep with someone for the first time, it's not like you have the opportunity to define what's happening. You don't have the opportunity to say "this is a one night stand by the way". As some of you pointed out, it's only the next day, that you find out if it truly was a one night stand.

Reply 15

Segat1

16

Yes. I had a great relationship with someone I met at a pub, pulled etc.It turned into one of the best relationships I have ever had. Sometimes, you get lucky, and sometimes you get LUCKY.

Reply 16

jointhedots

16

need_money

Yeah but you could sleep with someone after just meeting them with the intention of never seeing each other again and then it just doesn't turn out that way.

Yup...2 1/2 years and counting, minus a few hiccups along the way :smile:

Reply 17

Sithius

16

The odds of doing so are very against you. The other person usually is up for the '1 night stand' as just one night, as the title suggests.

Reply 18

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

Sithius

The odds of doing so are very against you. The other person usually is up for the '1 night stand' as just one night, as the title suggests.

I don't know. I don't think many people go out or see someone in a club and think "hmmm you'll do as a one night stand for me". Things just happen :cool:

In my opinion anyway the question of whether it's a one night stand or not is determined by what happens after....sometimes it develops, sometimes it doesn't and sometimes you wake up next to a Jeremy Beadle-like thinking "holy **** what have I done?!". A friend of mine married a guy she had a "one night stand" with (i.e. a swift cab home from the club and brekkie the next morning lol).

Reply 19

norelle

5

I've had four serious boyfriends, and three of them were the result of what I thought were going to be one night stands.

Can you turn a 1 night stand into a relationship?

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