Boyfriends sister is racist- how to deal with it Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 13 years ago
#1
My boyfriends family are visiting us next weekend, including his sister and her husband, who I cant stand.

Both her and her husband (she is 40, he is 60 so really they should know better) are incredibly racist/nationalist, and I find it really awkward. In the past she has made comments about my background and nationality. Im not sure if these comments are directed towards me or not, but I still find it very offensive and hurtful. They seem quite happy to make comments in front of me and dont even bother to hide it. More worrying is the fact that my boyfriends niece, who is only 11, has started to copy their behaviour and I fear that she too has been 'brainwashed' by these idiots.

Normally I try to laugh it off or ignore it. But this time they are coming to MY house and theres no way Im going to stand for it if they start making remarks, not in my own home. Im not sure though if I should stand my ground or just let it go to avoid causing an argument. Im not sure Id have the confidence to stand up to them.

What would you do?
0
reply
topcrabcakes
Badges: 2
#2
Report 13 years ago
#2
Politely inform them that you take offence to what they have said and please could they stop making further racist comments.
4
reply
Purple
Badges: 15
#3
Report 13 years ago
#3
Tell them to stop it, they are in your house!

They should know better and not be so narrowminded, I know people will have made comments about the age gap in their relationship (Just for the record I dont have a problem with this I am in a relationship with a bigger age gap) and they wouldn't like people saying hurtful comments about them would they:/
0
reply
Marie05
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#4
Report 13 years ago
#4
i think you should just be yourself. If they do say something, that you find offensive, either tell them that or i know i would lose my temper and i would turn things around onto them and literally say how pathetic they are in being racist.

You have to stand for yourself, stand up for your race/nationality, dont let irresponsible people like that hurt you. And what's gonna make them stop!? you cannot avoid it.

Somehow get the confidence you need to stand up for yourself, otherwise you will regret it when you look back at this.

I look back at certain situations/events and i wish i stood up for myself, but i just let people hurt me. The worst feeling is that of regret!
0
reply
Comp_Genius
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#5
Report 13 years ago
#5
well what do they say!?
0
reply
cappucino07
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6
Report 13 years ago
#6
You spoken to the boyfriend about it?
4
reply
WokSz
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#7
Report 13 years ago
#7
yeah, speak to the bf. And what kind of things do they say?
0
reply
q1w2e3r4t5y
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#8
Report 13 years ago
#8
Tell them that they're offending you, and that they should keep their stupid little comments to themselves. How insensitive of them.
1
reply
Sithius
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#9
Report 13 years ago
#9
Take them to the corner and give them a quiet word. Though you're a lady so that might be tricky. Got any male friends/relatives that could do it?

Tell your boyfriend about it.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 13 years ago
#10
I dont want to go into detail about what they say but lets just say they are from Wales and have a real hatred of English people. I dont want people to think Im tarring all Welsh people with the same brush as Im not so please dont take this thread the wrong way.

I grew up in a small Welsh village in the middle of nowhere so I used to get a lot of abuse about this as we were 'different' from everyone else, which at the time affected me really badly and I was bullied at school because of it.

I know this is not uncommon but I am the only English person out of all of them so I take it really personally, if I hear another "they should go back to where they came from" comment, I am going to scream. Its really childish. They call my boyfriend a "traitor" for going out with an English girl, and said they would piss on my car as it had an England football sticker in the window. The list goes on, its just seems as though they cant help themselves and are always making little comments here and there. Not only this, but they make comments about black/asian people too, which offends me as I have friends who are black/asian.
0
reply
Zerforax
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#11
Report 13 years ago
#11
lmao..
sorry i just find it funny that Welsh people actually believe theyre better than other people :p:
Yes you should stay up for yourself in your own home but tell your bf too about it so he understands before hand.
and btw im not saying anyone is better than anyone else
0
reply
jr2007
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#12
Report 13 years ago
#12
I reckon best bet is to tell them straight - you're fed up with this racism and wont take it anymore. I know it might be awkward but I reckon your bf will stick up for you.

They may be proud of being welsh but tell them your proud of being english. Just dont fight back with more racism!
0
reply
parag
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#13
Report 13 years ago
#13
That's the first I've ever heard of Welsh people doing that o_o

If it were me I'd have a word with my partner and if anything happens then give the bf a look, then the next time it happens unleash the fury.
0
reply
littlemissalex
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#14
Report 13 years ago
#14
How dare they?!?! Of course stand your ground, but when making your point/defending yourself, dont sound aggressive, just calmly and politely make your point. Dont pretend to be nice though cause they are going to think you're weak. Stand up for yourself and be strong!!
4
reply
Evil-Tuna
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#15
Report 13 years ago
#15
Buy them gifts of a long white robe with a pointed mask and tell them that your gay negro next door neighbours are coming round later and that the shotguns in the garage.

And Racist is not allways nationalist
4
reply
keenya2006
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#16
Report 13 years ago
#16
So they dont like you because you're english and they are welsh. They arwe just jealous of English, black and asian people because we are sooo fine but seriously, Just humor them with their comments because when people say things like that they want you to be affected. They probably will never leave Wales because ignorant people cant get by too far anyway and take pleasure in the fact that she will die a bitter old hag
Wow lol sorry, but I just finished this whole series in my local paper on discrimination...people like that find pleasure in the fact that you are an 'other'...the only question they ask is 'how are you not like us' and they use that to reinforce their own identity and basically feel good about themselves.
1
reply
Mangaroo
Badges: 10
#17
Report 13 years ago
#17
(Original post by Marie05)
i think you should just be yourself. If they do say something, that you find offensive, either tell them that or i know i would lose my temper and i would turn things around onto them and literally say how pathetic they are in being racist.

You have to stand for yourself, stand up for your race/nationality, dont let irresponsible people like that hurt you. And what's gonna make them stop!? you cannot avoid it.

Somehow get the confidence you need to stand up for yourself, otherwise you will regret it when you look back at this.

I look back at certain situations/events and i wish i stood up for myself, but i just let people hurt me. The worst feeling is that of regret!
i would totally agree. Except its her boyfriend's sister, so maybe try and be a little polite about it, just to show your boyfriend that your not completly disregarding his sensitivity towards his family

(WOOT another imperialite!)
0
reply
Marie05
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#18
Report 13 years ago
#18
(Original post by Mangaroo)
i would totally agree. Except its her boyfriend's sister, so maybe try and be a little polite about it, just to show your boyfriend that your not completly disregarding his sensitivity towards his family

(WOOT another imperialite!)
hehe your right, should be polite. its just something i find difficult to do to racist people! sorry!

and yes WOOOHOO ! here we come imperial!
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How many uni open days have you been to/did you go to?

0 (96)
29.45%
1 (54)
16.56%
2 (44)
13.5%
3 (51)
15.64%
4 (24)
7.36%
5 (22)
6.75%
6 (8)
2.45%
7+ (27)
8.28%

Watched Threads

View All