Help needed with letter ! Watch

ammarb87
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#1
Report Thread starter 13 years ago
#1
Hey can someone help me make this letter more persuasive ?
I really need it by tomorrow .. I posted it here cus ppl's english will prolly be better than mine .. u can PM me with the edited version or jut give me some tips

Dear Sir,
My name is AB and I have applied for Economics and Management Sciences at your university through EXTRA. I hope your department has received my application through UCAS. I chose to email you as you are the Undergraduate Admissions Co--ordinator and you might understand my present situation.

Before declining all my offers from other universities, I contacted Mrs.Kath Murphy and asked her whehter my application will be considered for the Economics and Management Sciences course at Southampton. She gave me a positive reply and as a result, I declined all my offers and applied to Southampton through EXTRA. She said in her email that the admissions tutor will consider my application.

Currently I am in my gap year. I have achieved ABCa for my A levels in Psychology, Biology and Chemistry and I have an A for ICT AS level. All of these grades add up to 360 points and the course I have applied for requires 370 points.I am just 10 points short. I have a C for Maths Extended IGCSE. I like to stress that this is the higher paper for Maths. However the grade in Maths Extended does not show my true potential. I would like to be honest and tell you that the let down for me in maths was geometry. However, I ahieved an A grade for my coursework which was based on statistics. I plan to take extra maths classes over the summer to polish my skills in order to make me more confident. It was the highest mark in the class. In addition, other factors which prevented me obtaining a high grade in maths have been mentioned in my Personal Statement.

I believe that there is more to me than just grades. I am in the middle of my gap year. I took a gap year in order to gain experience in the field of finance. At the beginning of the gap year, I worked in the Foreign and Commonwealth Office as a Team Administrator for about 3 months and from then, I have been working in a private bank in London. The gap year has helped me to gain knowledge about practical life. I have become a more mature and confident person. I have realised that life should not be taken for granted under any circumstances. I believe this gap year will help me to secure future internships in banks. The experience I am gaining will also help me to study the course with more enthusiasm and understanding.

I really hope you can take all these factors into consideration and give me a place on the course.

I look forward to hearing from you and thank you for taking some time out to read this email.

Regards
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worldwide
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#2
Report 13 years ago
#2
..started typing out some stuff but nearly fell asleep :P i'll pm you with an edited one
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ammarb87
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#3
Report Thread starter 13 years ago
#3
thanks for the letter EnjoyingLife .. It was really good and was nice of you to help me
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