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Should I go out with him?

Hey everyone, so I just started something with this guy who's had a crush on me for ages - I don't actually fancy him, but he's normally really shy and he's got a huge confidence boost from it (he's never been out with anyone) so I think me acting like I'm interested is really good for him. I'm single and don't fancy anyone myself, so I just wondered if I should go out with him like he wants, as I'm not losing anything by it and it'd be really good for his confidence, I think.

This sounds like a really stupid idea written down, but I swear you can see the change in him aleady! Does anyone have any advice? Should I do this for him or would it just make things worse in the long run? Argh! Help!

Reply 1

OMGWTF

1

If now you've started to like him, now he's not scared yes. If your going to go out with him just to make him happy and not shoot him down, don't. You can't have a one sided relationship

Reply 2

Redefined

13

I think it is quite sad actually. Firstly, you are classing yourself as better than him. Secondly, you think your being so good too him by doing him a favour. Thirdly, what is lying to the poor boy gonna solve?

It would be better to let him go, one day he will find some 1 he really likes and that person likes him equally the same.

I can see the arguement now..."I am only with you cause I feel sorry for you!"

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I knew this would sound horrible :frown:

It's not meant that way, honestly I just want to help him!

Reply 4

Tyler Durden

17

Terrible idea. The one piece of advice my grandfather has given me is: "Don't marry a girl because you feel sorry for her" and I think the same applies to your situation (despite the fact you are yourself of the female variety and marriage is hardly on the cards!)

Reply 5

munchkin18

don't do it, it will never be an equal relationship.

Reply 6

Lush Law

15

^^ I agree.

I shagged someone 2 days ago when I didn't really fancy them (they weren't ugly or anything, like eww) but I didn't enjoy it and on reflection I only really did it because he's really into me and has been for ages. And I don't intend that to sound arrogant or whatever.

Don't.do.it.

Reply 7

Redefined

13

Anonymous

I knew this would sound horrible :frown:

It's not meant that way, honestly I just want to help him!

Be his friend then, don't lead him on.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Okay, so how do I tell him I'm not interested without upsetting him? (The last time he got knocked back he got depressed for six months, that's the last thing I want.)

Reply 9

Purple

18

Disappear! Dont do it! Just remain friends with him.

Reply 10

clyn

1

Say you find the idea of a relationship right now frightening and you want to keep him in your life cause he rocks, etc etc. Yeah, be creative.
And keep arranging to meet up, either doing something definately non-coupley or in a group, so he isn't left out.
Or grow a beard.

Reply 11

Phantom Phoenix

13

I agree, you shouldn't get involved, it's not fair to him because it won't last on that basis so sooner or later you'll have to dump him anyway. Surely it'll be less painful if you nip it in the bud now?

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Okay well I'm 16 so I don't know a lot about knocking people back. I've only been out with two guys before. Please help!

Reply 13

GarageMc

1

Well if you think him having a girlfriend will boost his confidence, but don't want to go out with him/ want to remain friends. Try and get one of your girl friends to hit on him.

Best plan. Ever.

Reply 14

Mangaroo

12

what happens when he wants to go further?

Reply 15

serious narb

11

it does sound like you pity the shy little nerd to be honest, but by all means go for it, gt nowt to lose have you

Reply 16

Mangaroo

12

err she'll make it worse for him in the long-term and also lose her friendship with him. ~ if hes now her friend

Reply 17

serious narb

11

Mangaroo

err she'll make it worse for him in the long-term

yeah but that's his problem, i'm saying she has nothing to lose for herself

if she isn't a close friend of him that is

Reply 18

Mangaroo

12

well obviously she cares enough that she is willing to go out with him just to boost his confidence. so if she really cares, she wouldnt lead him on. Imagine how crushing it would be if he found out ~ more harm done than good.

Reply 19

serious narb

11

Mangaroo

well obviously she cares enough that she is willing to go out with him just to boost his confidence. so if she really cares, she wouldnt lead him on. Imagine how crushing it would be if he found out ~ more harm done than good.

but then what if she actually does start to like him after they start 'seeing each other' should maybe give it a chance and see if it works out.

Should I go out with him?

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