Dramatic Star
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#1
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#1
I need an honest opinion. I don't know whether or not I have the right to feel the way I do, but at the end of the day it's how I feel.

Basically, I've come back for Easter from Uni & I'm feeling really depressed. Family & friend situations are (lets say) not the best so I'm stuck at home with little to do. Boyfriend (who lives like 5 miles away) doesn't seem to be making much effort to see me. To begin with I understood. He's doing his dissertation but most of the time he's mucking about on msn or on games & not working anyway. That's fair enough. But what hurts is that he has made the effort once in 2 weeks to see me (& I get the suspision that was just for sex :rolleyes: ) which I had to arrange. He's made no time for me & it isn't like him at all. He knows that I'm feeling depressed & to be honest, I feel like a right ***** for feeling like this.
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Emmalina
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#2
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Why dont you tell him how you feel. And then if he doesnt do something he's obviously being a ****
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Mangaroo
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#3
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#3
one thing i hate, is having to put all the effort in to get things going, people who dont bother to put in some of the work, aren't worth it.
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Emmalina
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#4
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Why dont you tell him how you feel. And then if he doesnt do something he's obviously being a ****.
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Mangaroo
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#5
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yeah i think i was being a little harsh, but to me its the small things that people do that counts. If they were caring, you'd know about it ~ you wouldnt feel this way. I don't think you can permenantly change that with nagging.
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Marie05
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#6
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(Original post by DaintyDuck!)
Here! Here!
Well, I think you should talk to him, and yes you do have every right to feel like this. I mean if you're only 5 miles down the road from each other than it shouldn't need to be such an "effort" on his part. At the same time I am thinking why not let this roll...see how long it is before he suggests something! I am a bit petty like that :rolleyes: Anyhow, maybe ring him, tell him what you feel and if he doesn't get the message then, well he is such an idiot If you feel a little depressed then it should be even more of a reason for him to cheer you up.
Or, maybe he just doesn't know how to react around you at the moment?
respect to geminem slim shady! :rock:

now do your work :p:
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envious
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#7
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I don't think you should take his "mucking about on msn" or playing games as a sign that he isn't that busy as if he is a procrastinator like me often I will mess about the most doing pointless stuff at times when I actually have the most to do and am busy .

However, even I cannot feasibly suggest that in all this time a solitary visit that you had to arrange yourself is sufficent effort from a guy who is supposedly your boyfriend. I mean no matter how busy someone is, surely they can squeeze in a small trip to visit their girlfriend who doesn't even live far away. You have serious grounds for being annoyed:mad:

I think you should confront him over this but perhaps when his dissertation has been handed in and there are no more excuses for him to avoid seeing you. I am a strong believer in intuition and gut instinct and I think often when you feel that someone's heart isn't in a relationship and they aren't that committed it is usually true. You deserve better
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sophieliz
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#8
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hmm, not the ideal boyfriend. In all honestly if you want to see him and he (i'm not saying he doesn't want to see you) but is too lazy to organise anything then you have a right to be annoyed at him-so tell him how you feel. If this doesn't jolt him into action then I'm out of suggestions.
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Marie05
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#9
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(Original post by Dramatic Star)
I need an honest opinion. I don't know whether or not I have the right to feel the way I do, but at the end of the day it's how I feel.

Basically, I've come back for Easter from Uni & I'm feeling really depressed. Family & friend situations are (lets say) not the best so I'm stuck at home with little to do. Boyfriend (who lives like 5 miles away) doesn't seem to be making much effort to see me. To begin with I understood. He's doing his dissertation but most of the time he's mucking about on msn or on games & not working anyway. That's fair enough. But what hurts is that he has made the effort once in 2 weeks to see me (& I get the suspision that was just for sex :rolleyes: ) which I had to arrange. He's made no time for me & it isn't like him at all. He knows that I'm feeling depressed & to be honest, I feel like a right ***** for feeling like this.
hey you shouldnt be feeling like a right ***** for feeling like this! Things are just not going as smoothly as you might want them to, but we all get that from time to time! And your boyfriend sounds like he's feeling down too! I wouldnt blame him for not making an effort to see you at this time because he might just feel like he cant cheer you up or take you out or whatever. If "it isnt like him at all", then there's a reason and so have you tried chatting to him about it?

if you're stuck at home with little to do, if i were you i would go and help him out with his dissertation (if he doesnt mind obviously!) ! :p:
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Dramatic Star
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#10
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Thanks guys for the advice. I was expecting a much more negative response & that didn't happen so I guess that proves that I do have a right to be mad.

I just get the feeling he doesn't want me around while he is doing his disertation. I offered to help so he got me to search some stuff on the net & send it through msn. Not how I was expecting. :mad:

I have decided I have to take one of two options:

1. Play him at his game (only harsher!). Don't bother contacting him or bothering to make arrangements.

2. Speak to him about how I feel.

I have a feeling I will be doing number 2.
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Mangaroo
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#11
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i think if you care about your relationship, it will be better to wait until its over, although im not sure how you will cope with that =P
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Dramatic Star
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#12
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#12
Another month? Argh no!! Not sure I could cope with that. I need to tell him how I feel- I know that. Ironically, spoke to him now- he isn't working (hmmmm) so maybe now is the perfect chance. Wish me luck people!
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Mangaroo
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#13
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erm, not online! face to face!
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Dramatic Star
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#14
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#14
Thing is, I'll have to wait ages to see him face to face the rate I'm going at. I think it is better to tell him that I'm missing him online & that I have an issue & discuss it to him face to face.
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Mangaroo
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#15
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#15
go see him now!
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c0co
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#16
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#16
He's your boyfriend but he's also a friend! When your feeling down he should be there for you without you having to tell him. When the chips are down...you find out which m8s are gona b there and which ones are there for the party!
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