The Student Room Group

any ideas?

ok so heres the deal...me and bf have been going out for about 6 months but were friends for ages before hand.we started sleeping together about a month into the relationship and we both love eachother. the thing is i could quite happily go without sex at all. I dont enjoy it, I have no feelings.its not sore but its not pleasurable either.Basically i only do it to satisfy my bf. He knows i much prefer the cuddles and that i dont particularly enjoy it but i dont think to the full extent....
i dont know why this is. first i thought it was because i was worried about pregnancy but now im on the pill and he wears a condom so its really annoying me. we have great foreplay etc and cuddles after and i feel really loved but its just kinda putting a downer on me atm:frown:every1 else seems to be able to enjoy great sex and i just dont see the big deal:frown:
could this be because i lost my virginity in a bad way in a dodgy relationship before?and if it was i really dnt see how this can still be affecting me because my bf makes me feel really loved:frown:
anyone help?
thanks:smile:
well my dear, I don't see what the big deal about sex is either. maybe it's cos you have a low sex drive? that could be it. I don't think that you should kick it up just cos you want your boyfriend to feel happy about it. In a relationship, your happiness is always first...and if your happiness makes your partner unhappy, then you compromise. :smile: try talking about it seriously with your boyfriend...if he is the sweet guy I think he is, he would understand.
Reply 2
Hi.
Everyone enjoys different ways of having sex maybe you just need to try a different position?
The more you worry about it the less you enjoy it as your stressed and can't let yourself go. Lots of girls have this problem of not really knowing what they want and if your bf has not had lots of experience before then he won't know either.
If you enjoy the forplay try to get him to go down on you untill your really enjoying it and then stop.
You might want sex more then and maybe enjoy it?
Asfar as past relationships go the only way that would effect you is due to you thinking about it during or whatever.
Just focus on how much you love him during since you seem to and forget about everything else and just enjoy it as much as u can don't try to hard but if it still is not doing it for you talk to your bf in a nice way like i love it when u do this to me but sex needs a bit of work on together.
Hope it goes well
Reply 3
my bf is really experienced.in a previous life he was a male whore as i put it.hes had about 40 partners but i dont judge people.we tried different positions ect but its kinda like im just going throught the motions. i dont mind doing it because he enjoys himself but i just wanted to know if there was anythin underlying that i can change to make it more enjoyable for me because at the minute he always has to initiate it because im not really that bothered about it.
Reply 4
tell him about it babe. its a shared experience so perhaps he is unaware and unless you tell him , he will never know. you can play about and find what works for you both.
like I said. lol
sex isnt everythin