The Student Room Group

time to drop my interest?

I've been wondering "does-she/doesn't she" with a girl from my course who I've been friends with over this academic year. We do get on well and work well together and have fun in each other's company. However I'd never really picked up any distinct signs of flirting from her or any non-verbal signals of interest. After a bit of thinking at the start of the holidays I thought when we come back it might be worth saying something, although it would be a gamble because if she rejects me, I don't think we would have the same kind of friendship as we do now - we'd be friends but she would probably distance herself a little bit.

She emailed me a couple of weeks ago asking could I send her some file we needed for our coursework. I sent her the file and a reasonably long email telling her what I'd been up to in the holidays so far etc. She didn't reply which I was a bit disappointed in, but I never read too much into these things.

So 3 days ago I texted her asking how she was getting along and what she was up to. No reply to that one either.

Now I'm changing my mind about telling her I like her because I feel it would be futile just creating an awkward situation for nothing. Much as I try to cling to hope, I think if I'm honest with myself, when a girl likes you, she wouldn't ignore an email and a text. I doubt she's done it to spite me but I get the feeling it's been filed away in her mind on the "to do list" - "oh yeah I need to get round to mailing him back sometime". It doesn't particularly sound to me like this is a girl who's interested in me.

I've tried to think back and she's never ignored me before, we normally text each other quite often and we see each other every day in uni, recently she's started coming round to mine to work on projects and we have a good laugh there. It is the holidays but I expected us to keep in contact, we did over Christmas. Any comments on the situation appreciated.
Reply 1
Maybe she's noticed you're into her and isn't interested so doesn't want to lead you on? :smile: Flirting girls don't necessarily mean they fancy you, as silly as it sounds.
Reply 2
I wouldn't tell her if I were you... you could try flirting with her a bit, but I definitely wouldn't tell her you fancy her, as it doesn't sound like she fancies you that much if she does at all. I think you're right, you'd probably scare her.
If you just flirt with her a bit though, you can probably judge from her reactions what she thinks about you.
It won't ruin the friendship, if you think she's a bit uncomfortable with it, just stop and flirt with her again in a few weeks again if you still like her then.
Reply 3
I say just stop. Any interest she may have previously held in you will probably diminish after the realisation that you are chasing her.
Reply 4
although its not clear that she likes u, it does not mean that she doesnt... as someone said, try flirting with her and see how she reacts. then reduce the talking with her for while, see how she changes to your different behaviours, if at all.

I've realised that sometimes people try hiding their emotions (for whatever reason) and some people are so damn good at it!

Its confusing when u know someone through college/uni, and are friends, work on projects together and so on but can't really tell how they feel towards u and even worse when u start thinking they might be into you but cannot tell :confused:
Maybe she had no credit to text back? And maybe she hasn't had the time to reply to the e-mail? Just a couple of possibilities.

When we are away at uni, my best mate is crap at communicating with me, but when we are home in the holidays, it all changes - practically non-stop! I don't understand that?? Maybe it's a simular thing for you... no real reason, it just works out as it does.
Reply 6
ok then - but if somebody who you actually fancied was emailing/texting you, you'd find the time to reply to the email at least
I texted her again to ask what she was doing and when she was getting back to uni. No reply!
I think it says it all to be honest
Reply 7
Anonymous
I've been wondering "does-she/doesn't she" with a girl from my course who I've been friends with over this academic year. We do get on well and work well together and have fun in each other's company. However I'd never really picked up any distinct signs of flirting from her or any non-verbal signals of interest. After a bit of thinking at the start of the holidays I thought when we come back it might be worth saying something, although it would be a gamble because if she rejects me, I don't think we would have the same kind of friendship as we do now - we'd be friends but she would probably distance herself a little bit.

She emailed me a couple of weeks ago asking could I send her some file we needed for our coursework. I sent her the file and a reasonably long email telling her what I'd been up to in the holidays so far etc. She didn't reply which I was a bit disappointed in, but I never read too much into these things.

So 3 days ago I texted her asking how she was getting along and what she was up to. No reply to that one either.

Now I'm changing my mind about telling her I like her because I feel it would be futile just creating an awkward situation for nothing. Much as I try to cling to hope, I think if I'm honest with myself, when a girl likes you, she wouldn't ignore an email and a text. I doubt she's done it to spite me but I get the feeling it's been filed away in her mind on the "to do list" - "oh yeah I need to get round to mailing him back sometime". It doesn't particularly sound to me like this is a girl who's interested in me.

I've tried to think back and she's never ignored me before, we normally text each other quite often and we see each other every day in uni, recently she's started coming round to mine to work on projects and we have a good laugh there. It is the holidays but I expected us to keep in contact, we did over Christmas. Any comments on the situation appreciated.




Sounds to me that its definitly - 'doesnt she'

BUT one of my best friends has a saying thats always worked for him.

Persistance overcomes resistance. (as long as its not stalkerish)