Would anyone else not want their gf to give them a bj? Watch

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thegreatstupendo
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#461
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#461
(Original post by Anonymous)
If you listen to a lot of macho conversations between guys, a guy will usually show off by saying what the girl did for him and not what he did for the girl. The more he gets, without giving, is proof in his and his friends' mind that he's a macho guy.
That my friend is a load of utter *******s. In this day and age, it is more likely that someone will show off how good a lover they are and how much pleasure they brought to someone than they are to boast about what a girl has done to them. The kind of 'macho' person who would boast in this way is rapidly dying out and being replaced by no less 'macho' people who boast about their sexual prowess and skills.
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Anonymous #11
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(Original post by JitsuCol)
Seems proof that being macho is a load of rubbish.
Is it a load of rubbish? You only have to be a bit observant to realise that a lot of guys care more about what their mates think and their reputation, than what the girl they're sleeping with thinks.

In many, many cultures (maybe it's time to travel a bit, guys, and open your minds a little), that can be described as macho, it's shameful for a guy to go down on a woman, yet totally standard to expect the girl to go down. Some of these countries aren't even that far from the UK. There are probably more guys on earth that think along the lines of these macho cultures.

I'm not agreeing with any of these cultures but making an observation. To claim that machoism (machism?) no longer exists in the UK, would be complete denial.
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Anonymous #11
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(Original post by thegreatstupendo)
The kind of 'macho' person who would boast in this way is rapidly dying out and being replaced by no less 'macho' people who boast about their sexual prowess and skills.
That's strange because I know plenty of guys who are prepared to get head from an easy girl without going down on her and plenty of girls who give head to guys without expecting (or getting) anything in return.
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JitsuCol
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#464
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Is it a load of rubbish? You only have to be a bit observant to realise that a lot of guys care more about what their mates think and their reputation, than what the girl they're sleeping with thinks.

...

I'm not agreeing with any of these cultures but making an observation. To claim that machoism (machism?) no longer exists in the UK, would be complete denial.
Thanks for pointing out my lack of observance. I would like to say that I do care what my mates think, though perhaps they are somewhat liberal in that respect. (Thanks?)

I do not deny that machoism exists. Otherwise I would not oppose it. In any case I believe it is a remnant of less forward thinking times. Simply a personal opinion and I respect your own stance.
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Mercer
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#465
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#465
Boasting about how much she enjoyed it is not the same thing as caring more about her pleasure than your mates' opinions: it's just a different way of getting their admiration.

It is true that for some reason bjs can be seen as less intimate than oral sex on a woman, and 'player' type blokes will typically have much more of the former than the latter.
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Anonymous #16
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#466
I couldn't imagine ever kissing her afterwards.

So no.
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Mercer
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#467
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What, ever? That's a major hang-up you've got there.

Would you go down on her?
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JitsuCol
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#468
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I couldn't imagine ever kissing her afterwards.

So no.
Maybe it's a matter of getting into a relationship with a deeper meaning. Where sex isn't just an act? (I admit that could be an assumption too far from me, but that's my experience)
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xXMessedUpXx
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#469
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#469
WHY???? for the love of god why did you resurecct this damn thread!!!

:banghead:
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Anonymous #11
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#470
(Original post by Mercer)
Boasting about how much she enjoyed it is not the same thing as caring more about her pleasure than your mates' opinions: it's just a different way of getting their admiration.

It is true that for some reason bjs can be seen as less intimate than oral sex on a woman, and 'player' type blokes will typically have much more of the former than the latter.
Yes, I would agree with that. I was referring to the "player" type of course. But I think there's a bit of the player mentality in every guy or at least we care about it. Say a guy comes up to you and to piss you off, he goes on about his past sexual experience with your current gf. Of course you're going to want to smash his face in but to make you even angrier, it will be more effective for him to say how she pleasured him, how he treated her just to get his own pleasure out of her, rather than tell you how he made love to her and gave her loads of pleasure (assuming you're not bothered about your own performance).

As for this guy and his hang-up, this is just the typical perception of the penis being quite dirty. Nothing surprising. Then you realise that some girls are totally fine with performing this act (probably due to media exposure and talking to friends, they think it's "normal") and in a way, you enjoy the kinkiness/dirtiness of it. I think quite quickly, the idea that it's dirty goes quite quickly.
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pendragon
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#471
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Here's how I see it. I really enjoy when my girlfriend goes down on me. She says she enjoys doing it. How is this degrading for either of us?

And on the dominant submissive thing, surely the partner giving oral sex is dominant, as they are controlling when and how the other is getting pleasure, and can stop at any point they want. They are also in a position to do some serious damage, another factor of their 'control' and therefore dominance.
Usually the person receiving is dominant; giving head is normally seen as an act of submission under the instruction of and for the pleasure of the receiver.

However, it is possible to do the act in such a way that the receiver is submissive, especially if they are restrained in some way and the person giving is able to tease them and withhold satisfaction while making them beg for it.

My ex used to be very turned on by giving head as foreplay. I enjoy spanking and being dominant and anal sex so I guess the OP must find me the ultimate degrader, but I also have occasional submissive fantasies. Its all about the rich variety of sex really, I mean most people are rather restricted in my view, they never get into more kinky stuff, but someone who doesn’t even like oral sex? To me that is quite sad, I feel sorry for them, what a boring sex life they must lead. It is quite homophobic to condemn anal sex, and anal can be great fun for straight people too. Some radical feminists think all sex is degrading to women, or even that all sex is rape. I really do not care what small-minded people think about my sexuality, I and whatever girl I am with enjoy ourselves and are happy and comfortable with our sexuality.

I think the OP could do with being tied down and taken by a dominatrix with a strap-on, it would stop him being so up-tight, and he might find he enjoyed being degraded.
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Anonymous #17
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#472
"if you love me then you'd do it" lol
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pendragon
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#473
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#473
(Original post by SilverWings)
It's only an sexually submissive/dominant act if you make it!!
That is very true, dominance and submission which are in my own opinion a great part of sexual activity, are very much the product of one's imagination and mental construction of an act. Sexual act's are not intrinsically completely submissive or dominant it is how we choose to percieve them that makes them so. And that is what is great about sexual fantasy and variety.
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JadedHippy
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#474
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#474
(Original post by Anonymous)
I really would never like my girl friend to give me a blow job, its nothing to do with hygiene, i just think its degrading. Before people say that its "normal" to ask for a bj or anal sex, its not, the mouth and anus are not sexual organs ~ if my gf ever started id ask her to stop and id explain why, anyone else feel the same way or are you all for it?

Just curious.
I would not like my gf to give me a blowjob either, but I do not find it degrading. I just have this thing about beautiful faces, and the mental image of my penis going in one kind of ruins it. I'm a hygiene freak too. Coundn't kiss someone after they've given me a bj (only applies if a condom is not used). But like I said, it has nothing to do with degradation. I don't think an act can be objectively degrading. It can be degrading, but it's more due to the mindset of the people doing it than anything else.

Jaded
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supernova2
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#475
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#475
I dont think its degrading, it just feels good
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bluejeansdave
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#476
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#476
Wow tons of views. My view is whatever we say its sex and its really for those that are doing it.
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Helenia
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#477
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#477
(Original post by xXMessedUpXx)
WHY???? for the love of god why did you resurecct this damn thread!!!

:banghead:
A very good question
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