Settling for 2nd best

With girls, i've always found myself settling for second best.
The best way to explain - girls im really into never go out with me, and i always end up with girls who like me but im not 100% dedicated back.

So - ive decided to put an end to this permanently.

And theres a particular girl who ive liked massively for years - and i expressed my feelings to her (in a really awful way) a long while ago. She shrugged me off, but to be honest i wouldve done the same considering my irrational inexplainable behaviour :p:

A lot of things have changed now, including how i look and behave and particularly my attitude is totally different.
If im still hung up over her im seriously thinking its worth a second try.
So ive been casually chatting to her on messenger ever since, and right now im not sure if shes got a bf etc. And asking would be way too obvious right?
But how do i make it clear, without seeming like a overly forward, sex driven idiot, that i still fancy her?
I want her to see how different i am now, because the impression of how i was when she last saw me is probably how she still thinks of me.
So is trying to meet up with her the best plan of action - advice people...

Reply 1

Adarah

16

yes, I think meeting up with her is a good idea. if you haven't actually been out with her in ages or seen her for a while, it might be a good idea to ask her to come to a party or a night out with your mutual friends... of course I don't know if you hang out with a similar set of people, so it's a bit hard to offer advice on exactly what to do. Bad idea would probably be to ask her out to a romantic candlelit dinner, but I suppose you already worked that one out :wink:

Reply 2

blah0_o

1

Adarah

yes, I think meeting up with her is a good idea. if you haven't actually been out with her in ages or seen her for a while, it might be a good idea to ask her to come to a party or a night out with your mutual friends... of course I don't know if you hang out with a similar set of people, so it's a bit hard to offer advice on exactly what to do. Bad idea would probably be to ask her out to a romantic candlelit dinner, but I suppose you already worked that one out :wink:

also before you do that, you might want tot know if she's single.. don't directly ask her if she has one if you think it's too direct.. start talking about something on those lines.. and then casually ask her.. being flirty would tell you if she is interested or not, i think.. :rolleyes:

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Yeah maybe casually ask to meet her but if she says no or something then maybe leave it, if she didn't like you then why think she might like you now? Sounds bitchy I know

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Pretty Boy

tbh m8 I think you're gone on this one.

u let her in too far.

What you mean by that? Im interested by your idea?
Let her in too far?
Well i did tell her how i felt, and in theory that wud put her off. But that was a LONG time ago.
And also, i find with girls, if someone really likes them, then suddenly seems to not like them, they find it more interesting and maybe are a bit drawn to it? This HAS happened to me before. Am i not right?

So maybe if i see how it goes, flirt a little but play it cool? Who knows. Its not the most ridiculous idea surely?

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Pretty Boy

She's seen your weakness. Its too late imo.

What I'm thinking too.
Also remember she could have a bf that you don't know about, how you gona feel if you get really into her again and then finds out she has bf? Try to find out this info at least.
Your point bout girls being intrigued by sudden lack of attention is true in some cases but not all. she might be glad your not talking to her as much.
Sounds harsh yes but be prepared for dissapointment.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

What I'm thinking too.
Also remember she could have a bf that you don't know about, how you gona feel if you get really into her again and then finds out she has bf? Try to find out this info at least.
Your point bout girls being intrigued by sudden lack of attention is true in some cases but not all. she might be glad your not talking to her as much.
Sounds harsh yes but be prepared for dissapointment.

When disappointment is the norm why would i get my hopes up?
Yeah but ur points are all well seen an i might just try and distract myself with other girls - im goin to a gig the end of the month. Bound to be loadsa girls there. There is an advantage to being single :wink:

Settling for 2nd best

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