The Student Room Group

my sis has got her boyfriend round

Our parents are away in Salzburg for the weekend so I'm in charge.
I'm 20, my sis is 17. She didn't ask our parents if she could have her boyfriend over because she knew they'd say no due to them not being around.
This is her 2nd boyfriend and he seems nicer than her last boyfriend, I have to admit, so that's not a problem.
I said he could come round as long as he was gone by 10 (which he will be cos his dad's coming to fetch him) and as long as they didn't get up to anything (as in sex) while I was in charge. She's only been with him a month and doesn't believe in sleeping with someone before you've been with them 6 months so I don't think this would be an issue at the moment.
I'm downstairs in the front room watching TV and they're upstairs in the lounge watching another channel. I went up to give them chocolate cake after we'd had dinner (God, I sound like someone's mum!!!) and had to open the door, because they'd closed it, and basically found my sis on top of her boyfriend, or as good as. I just jokingly told her to get into a more respectable position before I gave her the cake. I then left the door open on my way out and I'm now sitting in the front room again but in a place where I can see the door, and it's still open. I was just feeling annoyed that they'd shut it because my mum doesn't allow them in my sister's room with the door shut, and I think she'd argue that just cos it's not her room, it doesn't mean she can have the door closed.
And yes, it's just awkward! I went upstairs again to change the cable channel (you have to change it upstairs for it to change downstairs for some reason, and it didn't affect what they were watching cos they're watching terrestrial TV atm) and they weren't full-blown snogging or anything but not exactly just cuddling either. It's just really awkward while I'm in charge to have to act like her mum, especially when every time I've gone in there so far this evening they've been slobbering all over each other.
So yes. I don't know really why I'm posting this. I guess I'm just slightly annoyed because by shutting the door it felt like she was taking the piss, taking advantage of my mum not being here. arghhh.

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Why do you have to be incharge of a 17 year old? How's that work? She is old enough to have a little privacy and freedom.
I would relax a little bit. It hardly sounds as though they're filming home-made porn in there. They're a 17 year-old couple (old enough - legally speaking - to be doing what they like) and are naturally going to be, erm, affectionate. I would pretty much leave them to it if I were in your position. Your sister sounds as though she has her principles and whether or not she sticks to them is not ultimately your business.
Stop going up there if it is awkward, you are exacerbating the situation. She is 17, give her a bit of space.
Go read a book or something
Reply 4
I said he could come round as long as he was gone by 10 (which he will be cos his dad's coming to fetch him) and as long as they didn't get up to anything (as in sex) while I was in charge

the age difference between me and my sis is very close to yours and I don't feel I have to take "charge" like u do, shes 17, let here have some freedom
Reply 5
Frankly I wouldn't want to be here if they did start going at it, but yes, you are right, given my sis being the way she is that's unlikely to happen.
It's just that my mum's going to be freaked enough in the first place if she ever finds out they were here together without her being here, and I'd rather not have the added problem of them being alone in a room with the door shut. They're already on a separate floor entirely so they don't really need the door closed.
As for why I'm looking after her, as it were, I reiterate that I'm not babysitting her or anything, my parents have been out of the country since Friday morning and will not be back until Monday morning. She is a minor and I am expected to be responsible for her over the course of the weekend. If you want some legal weight, I am in addition named in my parents' wills as my sister's legal guardian if anything was to happen to them before she was 18.
Reply 6
Go and join in?
Reply 7
Robin*Hood
Stop going up there if it is awkward, you are exacerbating the situation. She is 17, give her a bit of space.
Go read a book or something

I only went up there twice, and am not planning to do so again unless absolutely necessary.
Ok, if you really have a problem with the door being shut, go up (knock first then you wont catch them in compromising positions) and speak to them about leaving the door open. You'll be incredibly unpopular but hey, if it says it in your parent's will your hands are tied, right?
Reply 9
iom_cb
Why do you have to be incharge of a 17 year old? How's that work? She is old enough to have a little privacy and freedom.


precisely
She probably only shut the door to avoid awkwardness....with you. I would've been mortified to get up to anything with a bf in the same house as my sister....you know the kind of girl she is (i.e. not to have sex with him right off) so give her the credit she's due and chill out about it. Would it have been better if she'd left it open in the first place and disturbed your telly viewing? :p:

I know you're being her big sis and all, but 17 is mature enough to muck around with your bf in the same house as your slightly older sis without getting the riot act. :smile:
As for why I'm looking after her, as it were, I reiterate that I'm not babysitting her or anything, my parents have been out of the country since Friday morning and will not be back until Monday morning. She is a minor and I am expected to be responsible for her over the course of the weekend. If you want some legal weight, I am in addition named in my parents' wills as my sister's legal guardian if anything was to happen to them before she was 18.


Get a grip! You are only 3 years older than her. Mind your own damn business and leave them alone.....she is 17!!! You say you're not babysitting her...it seems like that is exactly what you are doing. So much fuss over a door as well. I have my bedroom door closed all the time and i expect any family members to knock and only go in there with my permission...this includes my parents. Go out or something if it's bothering you.
i think this is just too much for me honestly
i might cry
:hump:

:poke:
i might cry


i may join you...some people just baffle me.
Reply 14
Just be thankful you don't have my sister. She's totally screwing up her Uni work because all she does is talk to her b.f. on msn, or go to his, or he comes here. And when he comes here they hide in her room, and open/ close/ open/ close the door all the time-Which makes SO much noise and disturbs everyone else-Nobody is on the same floor as them, so there's no need to shut in the first place anyway!
Reply 15
The door is open now and has remained so. I respect my sister for that.
The reason I was unhappy with it being closed is because I respect my parents and I wouldn't want anything to go on that they have specifically spoken against/would be unhappy with. Mum has already spoken about them not being in a room alone with the door closed and has also made it clear to my sister that she doesn't want her to start a sexual relationship before she goes off to uni. Believe it or not, I respect my parents and I consequently feel a duty to do what they would do in the same situation.
leave her alone! jesus by the time i was 17 i think i'd got a little bit past watching tv just holding hands with the door open....even if she wants to have sex she's over 16! i'd leave them to it if i were you. everyone deserves a little privacy!
I'd back off, but make sure she knows that she's putting you in an awkward situation of not wanting to grass her up, but having to hide things from parents who didn't want this happening.

It's not on for her to betray trust invested in her by parents, let alone ignore how you might be affected.

But at the end of the day, she was always going to do that anyway. Let her get on with it. If it ends messy, wash your hands of it. I doubt anything will happen, and your parents will probably not find out.
If it is really bugging you as much it seems then why not just ask him to leave? Your sister will most likely be peeved but her being narked is the lesser of two evils when up against "disrespecting" your parents.

I have to say though, parents are over protective about most things. And you've said you trust your sis....so I can't see why you're getting so worked up about it. It's not like your parents are going to know you let the bf come over, and if they're just having fun and not hatching a plan for world domination I honestly can't see the harm.
Reply 19
Thanks dogtanian. Finally someone who gets it.
I have backed off now, and as I said, the door of the room they are in is open now, which is what I'm a bit happier with.
I doubt extremely that they would get up to anything more than kissing while I or anyone else was in the house, it was just awkward to walk in on them. I shouldn't have to knock when they shouldn't have had the door closed in the first place, and while what they do in private is their business and I don't care what they do, they aren't in private while I'm sitting downstairs. But anyways. It's not as if there's a problem right at this precise moment anyway.
Thanks again, rep coming your way when I can :smile:
('Reputation can only be given out once per day'? Turd!!!)