Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Relationship problems watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Ok I'm only posting here as last resort because I have no one to talk to and this is eating me up inside.

    Ok background: been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months now, lately been having troubles we never see each other. While I'm at uni he comes down to stay with me but when im at home i hardly ever see him coz he's always working.

    Couple weeks ago, i made it clear that i wasnt happy and wanted to see him more regularly than once a week at my flat. We kinda sorted it out but then this week things have happnd again. Saw him tue and we were going to meet up thur but he text sayin he cudnt make it and he'd call me later, he didnt, then text the next day, which wud of been last nite and he didnt. Anyways i text him earlier sayin if he had time for a gf. He rang me up, he's in hospital, reasons of stupidity. He told me he didnt think i was the type who he had 2 speak 2 everyday! He had to go coz he was beenin called or something so things arent resolved.

    I don't really know what im asking, but am i being out of order in asking for some attention from my boyfriend? Or should i just accept that i cant see him as often as i want to.

    I know i'll probably get the replies in which im guessing i will but i just need to let this out.
    Offline

    10
    i think, you may want to give it a bit more time ~ seems a bit too fast paced to make some firm decisions. rough week :P
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mangaroo)
    i think, you may want to give it a bit more time ~ seems a bit too fast paced to make some firm decisions. rough week :P
    But this isn't the first time we've had this conversation, it just feels like we're going round in circles.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    If you are really into your girl/boyfriend you can make time to see them, or at least show sensitivity if they raise it as a concern. The truth of this situation may be something you suspect but not wish to be confirmed.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MagicNMedicine)
    If you are really into your girl/boyfriend you can make time to see them, or at least show sensitivity if they raise it as a concern. The truth of this situation is something you may suspect but not wish to be confirmed.
    Guess its the age old heart or head debate! But it seems that when i ever bring my concerns up it seems to be in an inappropriate time like now he's in the hosiptal (on my defence i didnt know) and i was worrying/moaning that he was ignoring me.

    EDIT: I just feel like I'm being needy most of the time!!!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I was in this situation so I can totally sympathise. I ended up calling it a day because I literally couldn't be bothered going out with the invisble man any longer. I agree with the above poster, you make time for someone you want to be with. Tell him you hardly see the point of being with someone you never see and see what he says to that. It may give him the kick up the arse that he needs!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Louher)
    I was in this situation so I can totally sympathise. I ended up calling it a day because I literally couldn't be bothered going out with the invisble man any longer. I agree with the above poster, you make time for someone you want to be with. Tell him you hardly see the point of being with someone you never see and see what he says to that. It may give him the kick up the arse that he needs!
    Its not the actual seeing him its more of the communication like a text or a call, but i can't say "yes I do want to talk to you everyday", how desperate would i look? but at the beginning he would text me out of the blue all the time which i loved, even if it was at like 1 in the morning, fair dos though he wasnt working all the time like he is now.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Totally understand, but seriously it's hardly unreasonable to expect some contact from him. Him sending you a text is hardly going to take up a lot of his time. He's probably just got lazy
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I think of all the things I want to say to him but when I actually pluck up the courage to tell him all I can say is "I don't know what to say"

    Sometimes I feel like just ignoring him for a while and letting him wallow a bit, but then I come to my senses and realise that that would just be childish.
    • CV Helper
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    CV Helper
    i only see my bf once a week or every other week,sometimes it's tough other times it's ok.we've been together more than a year now,it might not seem worth it right now,but just chill and see what happens in the next week or two before you make a decision to end things
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Shylock)
    i only see my bf once a week or every other week,sometimes it's tough other times it's ok.we've been together more than a year now,it might not seem worth it right now,but just chill and see what happens in the next week or two before you make a decision to end things

    The prob is I'm going away on tuesday for a few days, then when I come back I'm back at uni and I feel like we will just go back to our rute where he stays with me at uni once a week. Then what will happen during the summer when I'm home without a flat for 3 months?

    I wanted to sort things out before I go away next week but I don't see that happening somehow, with the bank hol and stuff and feel that things will be even worse when I get back.
    • CV Helper
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    CV Helper
    (Original post by cat_meiow)
    The prob is I'm going away on tuesday for a few days, then when I come back I'm back at uni and I feel like we will just go back to our rute where he stays with me at uni once a week. Then what will happen during the summer when I'm home without a flat for 3 months?

    I wanted to sort things out before I go away next week but I don't see that happening somehow, with the bank hol and stuff and feel that things will be even worse when I get back.
    i was away for two months and my bf and i are still together,it was the hardest 2 months ever but we both made it through.

    just try to make time,do it over the phone,tell him how you feel. can't you stay with him,see him twice a week,like one to the cinema or something and then the second time stay over??
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Shylock)
    i was away for two months and my bf and i are still together,it was the hardest 2 months ever but we both made it through.

    just try to make time,do it over the phone,tell him how you feel. can't you stay with him,see him twice a week,like one to the cinema or something and then the second time stay over??
    We had this convo like 2 weeks ago, things were fine and we meet up at home and stayed at my flat. We can't go to his or mine coz are parents don't know about us, but that is not an issue. One of the main probs is he is always working and he cant really confirm plans til like a couple hours before so if we're meeting up at night he'll call during the afternoon and tell me he has to work. I can't exactly say anything to that because if he has to work he has to work and ive been aware of that since the beginning.

    I feel like ultimatly the only solution i see to this is to end it but i really do love him.
    • CV Helper
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    CV Helper
    (Original post by cat_meiow)
    We had this convo like 2 weeks ago, things were fine and we meet up at home and stayed at my flat. We can't go to his or mine coz are parents don't know about us, but that is not an issue. One of the main probs is he is always working and he cant really confirm plans til like a couple hours before so if we're meeting up at night he'll call during the afternoon and tell me he has to work. I can't exactly say anything to that because if he has to work he has to work and ive been aware of that since the beginning.

    I feel like ultimatly the only solution i see to this is to end it but i really do love him.

    aww hon,you don't have to ends things.just tell him that if it's possible he should try to confirm things a bit more than a few hours ahead,like if he could give you half a days notice. does he reckon he might be working that day that sorta thing.and if he is,ok then make other arrangements. at least he's not ditching you for stupid reasons or lying etc but you could always go to his and pretend you're a mate and stay over and be quiet. or try meeting at a b&b.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Aslong as your not expecting him to go out of his way to meet you then i dont think your being unreasonable at all.
    • CV Helper
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    CV Helper
    (Original post by cat_meiow)
    We had this convo like 2 weeks ago, things were fine and we meet up at home and stayed at my flat. We can't go to his or mine coz are parents don't know about us, but that is not an issue. One of the main probs is he is always working and he cant really confirm plans til like a couple hours before so if we're meeting up at night he'll call during the afternoon and tell me he has to work. I can't exactly say anything to that because if he has to work he has to work and ive been aware of that since the beginning.

    I feel like ultimatly the only solution i see to this is to end it but i really do love him.
    you replied twice...:flute:
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Shylock)
    aww hon,you don't have to ends things.just tell him that if it's possible he should try to confirm things a bit more than a few hours ahead,like if he could give you half a days notice. does he reckon he might be working that day that sorta thing.and if he is,ok then make other arrangements. at least he's not ditching you for stupid reasons or lying etc but you could always go to his and pretend you're a mate and stay over and be quiet. or try meeting at a b&b.
    The thing is that he meets me after work but a lot of the time he has to stay and work late so can't really give me that much notice. And with the stayin at his being a friend I don't think that would work.

    I need to let him know that I want things to change, but i really cant see how they can, but I don't want to end it. Am i just asking too much?
    • CV Helper
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    CV Helper
    (Original post by cat_meiow)
    The thing is that he meets me after work but a lot of the time he has to stay and work late so can't really give me that much notice. And with the stayin at his being a friend I don't think that would work.

    I need to let him know that I want things to change, but i really cant see how they can, but I don't want to end it. Am i just asking too much?
    well just try and talk to him again and no you're not exactly asking for too much.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cat_meiow)
    The thing is that he meets me after work but a lot of the time he has to stay and work late so can't really give me that much notice. And with the stayin at his being a friend I don't think that would work.

    I need to let him know that I want things to change, but i really cant see how they can, but I don't want to end it. Am i just asking too much?
    Your not asking to much at all, but maybe your asking to much based on whats avaliable if you understand.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I wouldn't rush in and end it totally. Maybe just leave it up to him? If you explain your not after constant attention just a small acknowledgement of your existence every now and again i'm sure he'll understand.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 23, 2006
Poll
Are you going to a festival?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.