The Student Room Group

Over Over Protective parents

my parents are overprotective to the extreme!!! they won't let me go anywhere alone of without them!! it results in me crying nearly all the time and becoming more angry and difiant. i don't know what to do?? they think waht they are doing is completely normal, but it's not. the only time i can be alone without them is when i'm at school. i'm 15 now and i live on the road opposite my school and it took a whole feaking year before they thought it was safe for me to walk alone there...until then they walked with me. and i was gonna die from embarrassment...

:frown: :frown: :frown:

and now i'm getting to the point where i'm REALLY ANGRY
Reply 1
My parents don't like me going down to the shops on my own when it's dark.

But they will let me go to Iraq with the army.

Most parents are overprotective when they can.
Reply 2
my parents are the same. actually mine are even worse for example my mum tells me what time to sleep and what time to wake up. when to go out and where i am allowed to go and how long for.
but i think you should prove it to them that you have grown up and you should do something so that they trust you.
hehe when i was 15 i was going out into manchester for nights out!
Reply 4
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

!!
Reply 5
mademoiselle84
hehe when i was 15 i was going out into manchester for nights out!

Whats your point????
Reply 6
MNBStyle
Whats your point????

I think she's just trying to show off.
Reply 7
DPM
I think she's just trying to show off.

Thats what i thought, but whats to show off about???? Wow you went out at night :eek:
Reply 8
I had the same kind of thing, eventually just gave up and did my own thing. She moaned the first time saying i was never to do it again. I did, and kept persevering and now i think she finally trusts me!
DPM
I think she's just trying to show off.


not really, it was more of a quip....i guess it wasn't enourmously helpful though! ho hum.
Hmm. Parents house, parents rules and all that.

But you need to rebel, for the sake of your sanity. Do you have a mobile phone? How about you go for a walk after school one day. Take you phone and don't go home first. When they go nuts at you when you get back just look them in the eye and ask them what the hell they are afraid of. Tell them you are 15. You are sensible, you can go out without them. Tell them that now, there is very little they could ever prevent from happeneing to you. Anything that could happen when you are on your own could happen around them. You could be attacked, raped, murdered and their presence would not make the slightest difference to that. But tell them they are making you miserable and you are angry. Then tell them your school work is suffering and if you are going to do well you need to chill out and they need to respect you and your age if you are going to do that. Alternatively, just play the bitchy rebel for a while but at the same time, be utterly responsible.
Reply 11
You need to speak to them. You're 15, and there are a lot of things you need to see. Make them understand that this is destroying any confidence you may have.
why i was 15..my parents were exactly like yours...i just followed through...i could only hang out with my friends on the days i finish from school early.....i think they just feel that you are their baby..and they can't imagine anything bad happening to you...don't worry..when you reach 17 or 18..trust me they wuld loosen up..

my baby bro is 15..and now I am 19..and i take care of him coz my parents are away and i do almost the exact same thing to him...so don't wrry..in time...you wuld be free..
Reply 13
My mam is still overprotective with me and I am almost 22! I have to text her whenever I'm out so that she knows I'm ok - it annoyed me when I was younger but now it's a habit and I don't mind. I worry about my younger sister and can kind of see my mam's side of things now.

Although your parents do seem a bit over the top, so maybe if you sit down and have a chat with them about it. You have got to respect their wishes as long as you are living under their roof - but if they get too extreme with stopping you from living you life then they will push you away from them.
Try and compromise with them - ask them if you can do something with your friends in return you will keep in touch with them so that they know you are ok.
I hope you can sort something out.
My parents are quite strict too, they even tell me when to sleep etc. (i'm 17 in 4 days) though i don't have much of a social life so i really haven't had too much trouble. I think you should definitly try talking to them, but don't expect them to see your point straight away, they will loosen up a bit at a time, be patient and don't push it. Start off, asking them whether you can do small things like go to your friends house for a while, then once they get use to you doing that, ask them whether you can go somewhere with your friends etc. But i think you need to accept that parents are different, and yours tend to be on the strict side, don't feel frustrated that's just the way they are, it can always be worse and always better. Hope that helps.
Anonymous
i'm 15 now and i live on the road opposite my school and it took a whole feaking year before they thought it was safe for me to walk alone there...until then they walked with me.


Doesn't sound healthy. I was first allowed to walk to school alone at about 7 (a 5 minute walk). Did both your 'rents accompany you to the school? Thats strange as often its one of the two that is over protective rather than both working in unison.

Have you actually told them that their excessive worrying is stifling you?
Reply 16
Whatever you do, stay calm. If you turn into a stroppy little madam it'll make it worse. They need to see you're grown up, mature, and calm before they'll even think about slackening.

If it all gets too much, remember that they're doing it because they love you, and just don't know how to handle it! But I do suggest you sit down and talk to them, as long as you make sure that everyone stays calm. How about some compromises? For example, if you're going out one night, say you'll be back by nine or something. It'll start out being restraining, but at least you're going out, and over time they'll learn that they can trust you and be able to relax a bit.
Reply 17
Maybe u could try discussing it with them when there isn't something specific u want to do, so ur less pressured. Explain to them u know they care but u feel u are responsible. Ask them if u can show ur responsible to them in some way. Then try & take it slowly. Start with something that won't freak them out too much & explain it to them fully, i'm going here with this person (pick someone they like!) or whatever & arrange a time to be home & be home on time!!! Or maybe they could drop u off/pick u up. If they see u have thought it thru maybe they will be more willing. Let them know that u know how to cope if a problem comes up (don't go over the top & freak them out with problems!) But say I'll ring if anything goes wrong or something. Are u the oldest? They probably don't realise you have grown up & can look after yourself so trying to get them to see that should work