My dad is having an affair.

That their brother is 7?

A few days ago, my father asked me to help set up his outlook email. I was working off my mac and his computer, and saw some weirdly titled emails from a woman I know he is great friends with- they used to work together (no secret). I'm afraid and ashamed to say curiosity got the better of me. I read these emails. They were mostly from her (very few he had replied to) using nicknames for eachother, about missing him, arranging their weekends together, etc, about keeping the bed warm, about him being angry "turning her on" (that was the only slightly sexual one). Anyway, it was to me 99.9% obvious it was an affair. I further found out that my father left his new job after only one month because it was supposed to be a week a month abroad at the head office but was turning out that they wanted him there full time. He's been unemployed for 10 months previous to this and caused my mother a great deal of worry, they've had to scrape every penny to keep afloat. One of the latest emails from the woman was saying how courageous his decision was, how she will be patient and mention no more about us, how she cannot imagine him in her life.

So I phoned my brother whose 7 years older (I'm 21). I was hysterical. My father is very proud, very respectable, and seemed to be very honourable.I'm living at home at the moment but he isn't. He was obviously very upset and said he would arrange to talk to our father. Anyway, long story short I decided I had to do something, my mother would be home in an hour, I couldn't pretend everything was okay. Went into my fathers study and threw the keys at him and told him we were going out somewhere for a drink. He obviously knew something was very wrong and he looked terrified.

Long story short we had a conversation, he admitted he had let things esculate too far with him and this woman but adamently denied anything had ever happened between them. He said it was very heavy flirting and should never have happened. He also explained that he left the job because he, at 62, just didn't want to be away from home anymore (or her). I asked him outright if he was planning on leaving my mother at some point and he swore he wasn't and that he wasn't having an affair. It was a very difficult conversation to have with him, and I told him if I ever found out he was lying that i would never speak to him again.

I now am faced with the torment of not being able to believe him. I want to, I really do. I am not going to tell my mother because I do believe that if anything had been going on, he will stop it now. But I jsut feel absolutely sickened and devastated and betrayed. He was the only man in the world I trusted and now I don't. My mother doesn't know hes left his job and I'm terrified about what will happen with their finances as it took so long to find out before.I cannot talk to anyone about this. My brother believes him and wants to draw a line under it. But I just can't. There's questions about the emails and comments she made that I want to ask him about and didn't when we had the big convo, and I don't want to bring it up again because it was just so horrendous and difficult last time and he looked so incredibly upset (i still feel sorry for him- how ****ed up is that).

I don't know what I'm looking for here, I'm sorry this is so long. I just feel genuinely like my world is wrong and my relationship with him will never, ever be the same. Whether I'm right in my instincts or wrong, I don't think I can ever trust him again. Even if he didn't have a sexual affair, he should never have engaged in that kind of talk or relationship with another woman.

Your dad and I are meant to be together. Back off.

A few days ago, my father asked me to help set up his outlook email. I was working off my mac and his computer, and saw some weirdly titled emails from a woman I know he is great friends with- they used to work together (no secret). I'm afraid and ashamed to say curiosity got the better of me. I read these emails. They were mostly from her (very few he had replied to) using nicknames for eachother, about missing him, arranging their weekends together, etc, about keeping the bed warm, about him being angry "turning her on" (that was the only slightly sexual one). Anyway, it was to me 99.9% obvious it was an affair. I further found out that my father left his new job after only one month because it was supposed to be a week a month abroad at the head office but was turning out that they wanted him there full time. He's been unemployed for 10 months previous to this and caused my mother a great deal of worry, they've had to scrape every penny to keep afloat. One of the latest emails from the woman was saying how courageous his decision was, how she will be patient and mention no more about us, how she cannot imagine him in her life.

So I phoned my brother whose 7 years older (I'm 21). I was hysterical. My father is very proud, very respectable, and seemed to be very honourable.I'm living at home at the moment but he isn't. He was obviously very upset and said he would arrange to talk to our father. Anyway, long story short I decided I had to do something, my mother would be home in an hour, I couldn't pretend everything was okay. Went into my fathers study and threw the keys at him and told him we were going out somewhere for a drink. He obviously knew something was very wrong and he looked terrified.

Long story short we had a conversation, he admitted he had let things esculate too far with him and this woman but adamently denied anything had ever happened between them. He said it was very heavy flirting and should never have happened. He also explained that he left the job because he, at 62, just didn't want to be away from home anymore (or her). I asked him outright if he was planning on leaving my mother at some point and he swore he wasn't and that he wasn't having an affair. It was a very difficult conversation to have with him, and I told him if I ever found out he was lying that i would never speak to him again.

I now am faced with the torment of not being able to believe him. I want to, I really do. I am not going to tell my mother because I do believe that if anything had been going on, he will stop it now. But I jsut feel absolutely sickened and devastated and betrayed. He was the only man in the world I trusted and now I don't. My mother doesn't know hes left his job and I'm terrified about what will happen with their finances as it took so long to find out before.I cannot talk to anyone about this. My brother believes him and wants to draw a line under it. But I just can't. There's questions about the emails and comments she made that I want to ask him about and didn't when we had the big convo, and I don't want to bring it up again because it was just so horrendous and difficult last time and he looked so incredibly upset (i still feel sorry for him- how ****ed up is that).

I don't know what I'm looking for here, I'm sorry this is so long. I just feel genuinely like my world is wrong and my relationship with him will never, ever be the same. Whether I'm right in my instincts or wrong, I don't think I can ever trust him again. Even if he didn't have a sexual affair, he should never have engaged in that kind of talk or relationship with another woman.

His brother is 7 years OLDER.

A few days ago, my father asked me to help set up his outlook email. I was working off my mac and his computer, and saw some weirdly titled emails from a woman I know he is great friends with- they used to work together (no secret). I'm afraid and ashamed to say curiosity got the better of me. I read these emails. They were mostly from her (very few he had replied to) using nicknames for eachother, about missing him, arranging their weekends together, etc, about keeping the bed warm, about him being angry "turning her on" (that was the only slightly sexual one). Anyway, it was to me 99.9% obvious it was an affair. I further found out that my father left his new job after only one month because it was supposed to be a week a month abroad at the head office but was turning out that they wanted him there full time. He's been unemployed for 10 months previous to this and caused my mother a great deal of worry, they've had to scrape every penny to keep afloat. One of the latest emails from the woman was saying how courageous his decision was, how she will be patient and mention no more about us, how she cannot imagine him in her life.

So I phoned my brother whose 7 years older (I'm 21). I was hysterical. My father is very proud, very respectable, and seemed to be very honourable.I'm living at home at the moment but he isn't. He was obviously very upset and said he would arrange to talk to our father. Anyway, long story short I decided I had to do something, my mother would be home in an hour, I couldn't pretend everything was okay. Went into my fathers study and threw the keys at him and told him we were going out somewhere for a drink. He obviously knew something was very wrong and he looked terrified.

Long story short we had a conversation, he admitted he had let things esculate too far with him and this woman but adamently denied anything had ever happened between them. He said it was very heavy flirting and should never have happened. He also explained that he left the job because he, at 62, just didn't want to be away from home anymore (or her). I asked him outright if he was planning on leaving my mother at some point and he swore he wasn't and that he wasn't having an affair. It was a very difficult conversation to have with him, and I told him if I ever found out he was lying that i would never speak to him again.

I now am faced with the torment of not being able to believe him. I want to, I really do. I am not going to tell my mother because I do believe that if anything had been going on, he will stop it now. But I jsut feel absolutely sickened and devastated and betrayed. He was the only man in the world I trusted and now I don't. My mother doesn't know hes left his job and I'm terrified about what will happen with their finances as it took so long to find out before.I cannot talk to anyone about this. My brother believes him and wants to draw a line under it. But I just can't. There's questions about the emails and comments she made that I want to ask him about and didn't when we had the big convo, and I don't want to bring it up again because it was just so horrendous and difficult last time and he looked so incredibly upset (i still feel sorry for him- how ****ed up is that).

I don't know what I'm looking for here, I'm sorry this is so long. I just feel genuinely like my world is wrong and my relationship with him will never, ever be the same. Whether I'm right in my instincts or wrong, I don't think I can ever trust him again. Even if he didn't have a sexual affair, he should never have engaged in that kind of talk or relationship with another woman.