How do I get shot of him without hurting his feelings?

Hi,

I have a big problem. I've really liked this guy, call him Mark for ease, for a few years, and I recently found out from his twin sister that he fancies me back. The problem is that I went out with one of his best friends, call him Sam, a while ago, and apparently broke his heart when I ended it. Without meaning to brag, he's still been a tad obsessive over me ever since - constant texts, gives me presents, on Valentines Day he turned up at my house with champagne and red roses, and I keep refusing them. I do my absolute utmost not to appear as anything more to him than a friend, but he just doesn't seem to understand. Christ, I won't even wear a bikini or get changed in front of him in case it gives him the wrong idea! Lots of people have told me just to give it to him straight and be completely ruthless to him about it, but the thing is that he's a really sweet guy, just not my type, and I don't want to hurt him. I wouldn't mind things just going on the way they are now, if it wasn't for the fact that there is now way that I can ever get together with Mark while Sam still thinks he has a chance - according to the sister Mark wouldn't dream of going for his mate's girl unless it was completely over.

How do I show this guy that I mean it when I say we're finished without sending him into depression or something? :frown:

Reply 1

Louher

Just tell him straight but in the kindest way possible. Explain that you like Mark and that there's no way your EVER going to be able to feel the same way about him that he does about you. It's never going to be nice telling someone you don't like them in that way, but it's kinder in the long run.

Reply 2

stainedglass

1

I've had a similar situation recently. It wasn't easy telling the other guy that I liked his friend more - but I don't see why you should have to be unhappy just to spare his feelings.

Tell Sam how you feel, if you're honest with him in a thoughtful way he should understand. If he likes you as much as you say then he will want you to be happy.

Reply 3

wiggles

2

I'm married to sea.

I'm not gay but I can learn.

I don't want to hurt you but I will.

Reply 4

Toy Soldier

3

...Sam and Mark from Pop Idol? No? Oh well.

Reply 5

MNBStyle

9

Why did you split up with sam????

Reply 6

MagicNMedicine

20

Sam, I really don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't fancy you and I'm going to get with your mate Mark.

Reply 7

Toy Soldier

3

MNBStyle

Why did you split up with sam????

I know, he was a well better singer (before they turned into CBBC presenters), and I found him funny because he's like the long lost twin of one of my mates. It's uncanny, really.

She's obviously decided to go for Mark's prettyboy looks over Sam's cheeky grin. How shallow.

Reply 8

shyr_15

i think you tell him out straight that you don't like him and you see him only as a friend...that way he won't have false hopes...

regarding mark, settle it first with sam to avoid trouble between the two buddies :biggrin: