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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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My sister and I have always somewhat gotten on until up to a year ago.
She's always been a compulsive liar and self obsessed but the rest of the family usually turned a blind eye to it as nobody wanted to deal with her temper.

Recently however, I've had enough. She went through my facebook messages that I had with my boyfriend, which some messages were really private about our sex lives and bi-sexuality. She then reported the conversation to my Mum. I WAS MORTIFIED. I would NEVER do that to her I wouldn't have even looked at her messages if she had forgotten to log out.

She also got caught up in her own compulsive lying to her friends and to save herself face she told them it was my fault (long story). They all were like 'I can't believe your sister would do that what a b****' one of her other friends also refers to me as the 'hoe' as my sister has told her what she saw in the conversation with my boyfriend.

When I was studying for my A2 exams she'd purposefully have the TV on loud next door, and when I got my A2 results she refused to babysit for my younger siblings which meant I had to open my results with screaming toddlers in the back of the car instead of calmly with my Mum.

Luckily she's away at Uni most of the time but when she comes home it is awful. We don't speak, ignore each other etc. I honestly wish she wasn't my sister I know that sounds awful. I'm so tired of her self obsessd ways. My mum is saving up money for her to have plastic surgery, she's in her early twenties! But because she thinks she is SO ugly (she's stunning and she knows it) my mum has weakened.

I have spoken to my Mum about it but she really doesn't want to get involved and that hurts because what my sister has done to me is really unacceptable and she's never held to account to her actions whatsoever.

My detest for her grows daily and I don't know what to do.

Help anyone
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Anonymous #1
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Bump.
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AyWill
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#3
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She sounds awful.
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Tabzqt
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#4
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Wow, your mum just caves in to her like that?
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This Honest
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#5
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That's unacceptable for your sister to do that. Totally.

If you've tried all you can to resolve the issues with your sister, your mum HAS to take action! Yes you girls may be grown up, but parents are there for a reason, it would be shame to fall out with your sister and not talk for years...seen it happen on jeremy kyle, other shows etc.

Have a chat with your sister again and try to take it step by step. :yep:
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Organ
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#6
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That's an awful thing to do. I just hope she improves because she sounds like a sociopath.
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Tabzqt
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(Original post by This Honest)
That's unacceptable for your sister to do that. Totally.

If you've tried all you can to resolve the issues with your sister, your mum HAS to take action! Yes you girls may be grown up, but parents are there for a reason, it would be shame to fall out with your sister and not talk for years...seen it happen on jeremy kyle, other shows etc.

Have a chat with your sister again and try to take it step by step. :yep:
I don't see how this is going to work.

The sister clearly has some kind of personality problems. This seems to go beyond the typical sibling rivalry and fights. She might even have traits of psychopathy/sociopathy.

http://www.arkancide.com/psychopathy.htm
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Toomanyoptions
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#8
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there is this guy with a barcode on the back of his head, he help you for a small fee.
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This Honest
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#9
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(Original post by Tabzqt)
I don't see how this is going to work.

The sister clearly has some kind of personality problems. This seems to go beyond the typical sibling rivalry and fights. She might even have traits of psychopathy/sociopathy.

http://www.arkancide.com/psychopathy.htm
I agree but if her attempts at trying to talk with the sister fails then then the mum has to get involved and refer the sister to counselling etc..
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Anonymous #2
#10
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I know this isn't very constructive advice, but I'm in a very similar situation. I think my sister actually has some sort of personality problem - she creates arguments with absolutely everyone she meets and somehow it's always 'their fault' - she doesn't seem to see that she is the common denominator. She has ditched friends, family and jobs because she grows to hate people and starts fights with them. I keep her at arms length because I know that one day she'll choose me as her target of hate. The sad thing is that once she zones in on someone she never lets it go - like a dog with a bone - and she badmouths them to anyone who will listen. So one day she is going to ruin our relationship and destroy my reputation by telling my whole family my most private things that I have stupidly told her - that's another thing, she makes you feel like you can trust her and then suddenly she'll switch.

I'm looking forward to getting my own flat and having very little contact with her. You can't choose your family and you are connected to them for life but some people are not a healthy influence in your life. I still love my sister, but I wouldn't say I liked her. If we were unrelated I wouldn't choose her as a friend. I feel awful for saying that, but it's just the truth. She is manipulative, lying, angry and seemingly devoid of empathy. It's actually quite sad. I don't want to be around her much longer - she has practically destroyed my confidence by belittling me. I think she is the root of my lack of confidence and as long as I'm around her I'll remain this way, so I have to keep her at a distance.

Don't feel bad for having negative feelings towards your sister - remember that she is the one who has caused them. The only thing you can do is to keep both physical and emotional distance from her. One day you won't live together and then you can choose how much contact you have with her - don't feel bad if that's only a couple of e-mails/birthday cards here and there. Regardless of what blood you share, some people do not deserve to be in your life and they will only cause you pain if you let them in.

I hope your situation gets better, I can totally empathise with you.
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Anonymous #3
#11
Report 7 years ago
#11
Been in a similar situation, except my whole FAMILY was a bunch of sociopaths.

It started out good with me telling my sister absolutely everything and feeling very close to her. However, my family are religious freaks and prudes, so when I told her that I go on onine chats she decided to tell my dad, just "in case" I talked to "boys" on the chat. I told her very specifically not to tell anyone that I go on chat rooms.

From then on my life became hell. I had absolutely no privacy, I had siblings following me everywhere to make sure I wasn't meeting up with boys (the thought of talking to boys didn't even cross my mind - I was just having fun and making fun).

I wasn't allowed a computer anymore so I went to internet cafes after school and came back home at 5. My dad decided that in order to stop me from doing that, I wasn't allowed money. They took my bank card and cut it in half and I was by my dad "you belong to me, so your money belongs to me too". He told everyone else in the house that I stole money from him (the complete opposite of what was happening!). He had my younger 14 year old brother search my coat and bag pockets every day for any money and take it away if they found it.

I couldn't order another bank card to my house because my dad would open any letters I had, so I had the card sent to my bank branch. After a long struggle I finally decided that the only place they couldn't search me was in my underwear, so I kept my money and my bank card in my bra.

But one day at night when I took the card and money out of my bra (I slept with it under my pillow because I would be searched first thing in the morning, so had to hide it there again as soon as I woke up), my sister "heard the sound of money". They found the five pound note I was hiding, but my sister thought that it sounded far more than just five pounds. To her it sounded like a "big packet of money". To this day they're convinced that I stole thousands of pounds from my dad and managed to hide it somewhere.

It was so bad that I just decided never to come back home. I slept rough many times and I had so little money that I ate just one bagle a day to keep myself going. I went to social services but they just told me to go home because I was 17 and they thought I was just being spoilt.

Needless to say I never came back home and it took me a while to get all my documents from the house. In the end I got the police to get my passport (without my passport I couldn't prove my identity and do anything) and I ended up living in a refuge. Thank god for western society.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why religion is **** and **** anyone who thinks Islam is good.
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Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#12
That's unacceptable for your sister to do that. Totally.

If you've tried all you can to resolve the issues with your sister, your mum HAS to take action! Yes you girls may be grown up, but parents are there for a reason, it would be shame to fall out with your sister and not talk for years...seen it happen on jeremy kyle, other shows etc.

Have a chat with your sister again and try to take it step by step.
That's the problem though. My mum DOESN'T want to take action. I do think she has a mental health issue my mum admitted this to me. But she's so scared of 'labels' and it being on her 'medical record' affecting her future jobs that she won't do anything about it. It's SO frustrating. I know it sound awful but I don't even want to talk to her. She can never admit fault to ANYTHING she does and she's a compulsive liar anyway so there is no point.
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CurlyBen
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#13
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#13
Learn from Archie
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=nAa36d-HPyQ
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Anonymous #4
#14
Report 7 years ago
#14
I'm sorry, but I can't sympathise with anybody who says they hate their siblings over such insignificant circumstances. It sounds really petty if I'm honest. Your family should be more important to you than anything else. If she's behaving this way, support her. Help her. Don't turn against her when she needs you most. You don't realise how lucky you are to have her.
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A Cat
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
That's the problem though. My mum DOESN'T want to take action. I do think she has a mental health issue my mum admitted this to me. But she's so scared of 'labels' and it being on her 'medical record' affecting her future jobs that she won't do anything about it. It's SO frustrating. I know it sound awful but I don't even want to talk to her. She can never admit fault to ANYTHING she does and she's a compulsive liar anyway so there is no point.
I was going to say psychopathy, but thankfully a few people beat me to it. It does sound like you and anon #2 are dealing with psychopaths. Know this: They do not care one inkling for you, or for anyone but themselves. All of their attention, dedication, reason for not committing suicide is to establish their dominance over other people. She does not know right from wrong through feeling, only through observation, and thus she doesn't care for "the moral thing to do".

My mother is a psychopath, I have cut all contact with her. Why? Because she doesn't know the true value of human relationships.

My advice to you... Research the topic of psychopathy as much as you can. Get a full knowledge and understanding of psychopathic behaviour. If you want to stop your sister from being such a little turd, you have to become psychopath Mk II. You need to shout, scream, look her dead in the eyes unfalteringly with as much, if not more malice and cruelty than she extends to you. Psychopaths think in terms of socially 'above' or 'below'. They will suck up to those above, and behave cruelly to those below. You need to put yourself above, and the only way to do this is, NOT HUMAN COMPASSION - THAT IS A WASTE OF TIME WHEN DEALING WITH PSYCHOS - the only way to put yourself above is to put her below. Subtle insults work best. If she raises herself to you, you've got to be strong, confident, and put her the F down. No mercy. Extend to her what she extends to you tenfold.
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Robbie242
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#16
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm sorry, but I can't sympathise with anybody who says they hate their siblings over such insignificant circumstances. It sounds really petty if I'm honest. Your family should be more important to you than anything else. If she's behaving this way, support her. Help her. Don't turn against her when she needs you most. You don't realise how lucky you are to have her.
I'm sorry but are you actually an idiot?
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Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#17
I'm sorry, but I can't sympathise with anybody who says they hate their siblings over such insignificant circumstances. It sounds really petty if I'm honest. Your family should be more important to you than anything else. If she's behaving this way, support her. Help her. Don't turn against her when she needs you most. You don't realise how lucky you are to have her.




Maybe you're right. Maybe I not as strong as you or as forgiving. I don't feel I can help her until I rid my own feelings of hatred towards her. She went through my private messages and relayed them to my MOTHER. She didn't give a damn about me when I had my exams even ignored me on my birthday. I'm just sick of her.

I'm not sure she would qualify as a psychopath I think she's either bi-polar or manically depressed. Everybody who knows her thinks she's amazing. She's verrryyy good at playing fake. But when she gets home she'll lock herself in her room and not come out, she doesn't eat either I think she may be anorexic...
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Anonymous #2
#18
Report 7 years ago
#18
(Original post by Samrout)
I was going to say psychopathy, but thankfully a few people beat me to it. It does sound like you and anon #2 are dealing with psychopaths. Know this: They do not care one inkling for you, or for anyone but themselves. All of their attention, dedication, reason for not committing suicide is to establish their dominance over other people. She does not know right from wrong through feeling, only through observation, and thus she doesn't care for "the moral thing to do".

My mother is a psychopath, I have cut all contact with her. Why? Because she doesn't know the true value of human relationships.

My advice to you... Research the topic of psychopathy as much as you can. Get a full knowledge and understanding of psychopathic behaviour. If you want to stop your sister from being such a little turd, you have to become psychopath Mk II. You need to shout, scream, look her dead in the eyes unfalteringly with as much, if not more malice and cruelty than she extends to you. Psychopaths think in terms of socially 'above' or 'below'. They will suck up to those above, and behave cruelly to those below. You need to put yourself above, and the only way to do this is, NOT HUMAN COMPASSION - THAT IS A WASTE OF TIME WHEN DEALING WITH PSYCHOS - the only way to put yourself above is to put her below. Subtle insults work best. If she raises herself to you, you've got to be strong, confident, and put her the F down. No mercy. Extend to her what she extends to you tenfold.
Wow, the 'above and below' thing is so true - it makes so much sense now that I think about it. My sister humiliates me publicly, constantly puts me down in front of other people (then acts nice on occasion when we're alone). But she never humiliates my older brother (who we see rarely), never insults him to his face, never raises her voice to him - she just oozes charm all over the place in front of him. She wants him to like her. She is constantly horrible to her boyfriend too (literally screams and shouts at him, hangs up the phone if he disagrees etc) - I honestly don't know why he's still with her.

The problem with standing up to her is that she will make my life a living hell. If I wasn't living with her I would be able to tell her to **** off but since I live with her if I so much as say something she disagrees with or 'look' at her the wrong way she will get confrontational - to the point of kicking/punching furniture and walls, slamming doors and badmouthing me to people. She also does this thing where if she has had an argument with someone she literally ignores them - won't even look at them. In the past we've gone for as long as 4 weeks, not saying a word to one another while living in the same house. I always end up being the one who says 'maybe I was wrong, can we clear this up' when it's her who has behaved badly, not me. She lives her life like an open wound on Facebook, so if I or anyone else irritates her - she writes about it on facebook. She has hundreds of 'friends' on their who are always listening to the rubbish she writes and who fuel her self obsession. So unless I want to become target number one, my best option is to keep my mouth shut and put up with her. Once I move out that's it, I'll have very little contact with her.
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Anonymous #5
#19
Report 7 years ago
#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
I know this isn't very constructive advice, but I'm in a very similar situation. I think my sister actually has some sort of personality problem - she creates arguments with absolutely everyone she meets and somehow it's always 'their fault' - she doesn't seem to see that she is the common denominator. She has ditched friends, family and jobs because she grows to hate people and starts fights with them.
Do you and I share the same sister?

I just pray that mine will change.
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A Cat
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#20
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Wow, the 'above and below' thing is so true - it makes so much sense now that I think about it. My sister humiliates me publicly, constantly puts me down in front of other people (then acts nice on occasion when we're alone). But she never humiliates my older brother (who we see rarely), never insults him to his face, never raises her voice to him - she just oozes charm all over the place in front of him. She wants him to like her. She is constantly horrible to her boyfriend too (literally screams and shouts at him, hangs up the phone if he disagrees etc) - I honestly don't know why he's still with her.

The problem with standing up to her is that she will make my life a living hell. If I wasn't living with her I would be able to tell her to **** off but since I live with her if I so much as say something she disagrees with or 'look' at her the wrong way she will get confrontational - to the point of kicking/punching furniture and walls, slamming doors and badmouthing me to people. She also does this thing where if she has had an argument with someone she literally ignores them - won't even look at them. In the past we've gone for as long as 4 weeks, not saying a word to one another while living in the same house. I always end up being the one who says 'maybe I was wrong, can we clear this up' when it's her who has behaved badly, not me. She lives her life like an open wound on Facebook, so if I or anyone else irritates her - she writes about it on facebook. She has hundreds of 'friends' on their who are always listening to the rubbish she writes and who fuel her self obsession. So unless I want to become target number one, my best option is to keep my mouth shut and put up with her. Once I move out that's it, I'll have very little contact with her.
Look - she makes your life a living hell anyway. You may as well just stop crying, start laughing, because it's a choice you know, and start taking no more of her ****. Just look at it as a hilarious ride down psychopath alley. I recommend, just read the wiki page, look at the Hare Psychopathy Checklist, and put 2 + 2 together. She's not bipolar, manic etc. She's a god damn psychopath. Take it from me, I've known a few, and their behaviour is very limited because of their brain abnormalities, thus making them easier to spot - from a distance.

When she's nice, she only wants you to trust her again so she can wreck it and watch you cry. Whenever she's nice to you, from now on, you throw it back in her face. "Why are you even pretending to be friends with me?" "Do I know you?" "Is the wind blowing?" "What is that annoying noise in the background?". When she's mean to you, ignore it at all costs, lock yourself in your room and let her take her rage out on your family, which will in turn hopefully draw their attention to her sick mind.

Like I said... Psychopath 2.0. But only direct this behaviour towards her. Doing something like this to someone who doesn't deserve it will not only make them feel bad, but you too. With the case of the psychopaths, you must always bear in mind that they are sadistic, cruel people, who would like nothing better than to walk around with someone on a leash. Where you go from here will be a very determinative life lesson, and I wish you the best of luck.

Feel free to PM me whenever or even reply on this thread if you want to remain anon.
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