long distance relationship - dont know what to do

Sorry for the anon but im so confused and i dont want my boyfriend finding this.

Ive been in a long distance relationship for about 2 and a half years but lately ive been really unhappy. My boyfriend seems to be getting increasingly selfish - i dont know whether or not its anything to do with the fact that hes an only child and hes spoilt rotten (even though hes now 20!). He just doesnt seem to care about my feelings and as we're 2 hours apart im wondering if its worth carrying on any more.
He never phones when he says he will, he flirts with one of his best friends and keeps going on about her (even though he knows i feel uncomfortable with it) and hes spending the night with her and some of her mates at a music festival in August that i couldnt go to as i have no money and the tickets sold out. He knows i was upset that i couldnt go yet he kept going on about it, even when my mum asked him to be sensitive about it and not keep bringing it up.

He spends all his money on his car and he never buys me any presents (not even for birthdays or xmas), even though he works full time. Im always trying to get him thoughtful little presents and stuff but i never get anything in return. My best mate thinks I deserve better and Im starting to think shes right as the lack of attention really bothers me. Its got to the point now where we go about 3 days without speaking and then he'll phone me when he has nothing better to do at about 1am. He seems to think that saying 'i love you' will make up for all of it but it doesnt.

I dont want to marry him or anything like that but hes always said he wants to get married to me which is a bit full on as im only 17. He wants it to be alot more serious in the long term than it is and i dont want to hurt him :frown:

. I lost my virginity to him and he does mean alot to me but Im just not happy. I dont know how to end it, but i know i definitely want to before i go to uni in september. Its not working anymore and Im always down because of it. Im also worried coz he has a few dodgy photos of me and Im really worried he'll send them around or something after we break up, but i dont really think he will as i cant imagine him hurting me like that. I really dont know what to do, Id feel awful without him yet Im unhappy with him :confused:

It just feels so crap when i see my best mate really happy with her bf - who treats her so well. I think 'why cant i have that' and then I know theres something wrong as im thinking like that in the first place. I dont know what to do, please help me. Sorry for the length :/

Reply 1

hapa_girl

7

Anonymous

Sorry for the anon but im so confused and i dont want my boyfriend finding this.

Ive been in a long distance relationship for about 2 and a half years but lately ive been really unhappy. My boyfriend seems to be getting increasingly selfish - i dont know whether or not its anything to do with the fact that hes an only child and hes spoilt rotten (even though hes now 20!). He just doesnt seem to care about my feelings and as we're 2 hours apart im wondering if its worth carrying on any more.
He never phones when he says he will, he flirts with one of his best friends and keeps going on about her (even though he knows i feel uncomfortable with it) and hes spending the night with her and some of her mates at a music festival in August that i couldnt go to as i have no money and the tickets sold out. He knows i was upset that i couldnt go yet he kept going on about it, even when my mum asked him to be sensitive about it and not keep bringing it up.

He spends all his money on his car and he never buys me any presents (not even for birthdays or xmas), even though he works full time. Im always trying to get him thoughtful little presents and stuff but i never get anything in return. My best mate thinks I deserve better and Im starting to think shes right as the lack of attention really bothers me. Its got to the point now where we go about 3 days without speaking and then he'll phone me when he has nothing better to do at about 1am. He seems to think that saying 'i love you' will make up for all of it but it doesnt.

I dont want to marry him or anything like that but hes always said he wants to get married to me which is a bit full on as im only 17. He wants it to be alot more serious in the long term than it is and i dont want to hurt him :frown:

. I lost my virginity to him and he does mean alot to me but Im just not happy. I dont know how to end it, but i know i definitely want to before i go to uni in september. Its not working anymore and Im always down because of it. Im also worried coz he has a few dodgy photos of me and Im really worried he'll send them around or something after we break up, but i dont really think he will as i cant imagine him hurting me like that. I really dont know what to do, Id feel awful without him yet Im unhappy with him :confused:

It just feels so crap when i see my best mate really happy with her bf - who treats her so well. I think 'why cant i have that' and then I know theres something wrong as im thinking like that in the first place. I dont know what to do, please help me. Sorry for the length :/

I'm in an LDR and its nothing like that... I also wouldn't blame the problems on the relationship being stretched across a few miles either.
I think its him, he sounds like a ******. He shouldn't be this way if you've been together that long! In my experience, the love and attention exchanged between my bf and I grew even more over time.

If you even have the worry of him sending out private photos of you, he sounds a bit scummy, I'm so sorry to say that but he doesn't sound too great of a guy and you probably could do much better.

Never buying you presents even on your BIRTHDAY is a bit much! Esp when its an LDR, he should be trying EXTRA hard to shower you with the attention you'd miss out on from being together physically.

I think hes taking you for granted... he wants to marry you? Only because he knows that so far you're the only girl who has put up with his bad behaviour maybe.

Your best mate is right... you deserve better treatment.... sorry to be so blunt but he sounds awful.

But if all this shyte is just a very recent occurance ask him WHY and sort it out. If he's always been that way or not much better, move on...

Reply 2

55909

1

Hey sweety, Hapa_girl is right, nobody deserves to feel as you describe.
"I love you" means nothing if its said as an apology rather than a declaration or even a gentle reminder. I'm sure you can do so much better than this, there is no excuse for neglecting someone given the title as your girlfriend. Exaclty as Hapa_girl says, i wouldnt hang around too long, because its people like him who give all the good guys out there a bad name.
If he gets you down and lets you down, he isn't worth your time of day no matter how long you've been together
~* Robs *~

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for the advice, its just really difficult as we've been together for ages and it'll really hurt if he gets together with someone else while im missing him. Its just a rubbish situation :frown:

Reply 4

shyr_15

you deserve someone better! dump him. he's not worth your love.
im also in a LDR but its not like that. were 12 hours away from each other and try to be together as much as possible. and he really tries to give me assurance all the time. and he doesn't do things that would make me uncomfortable or would make me feel bad. don't worry if you have given him your virginity. its not like no one would love you without it...

you are definitely right, he's SELFISH and you should get over him asap!

long distance relationship - dont know what to do

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