The Student Room Group

borderline / feeling unsettled

yeah don't really know how to start this thread off but at the moment I've been feeling unsettled and that there's something really missing in my life.

Everyday I feel like I am 'treading water' so to speak, ie stop and you'll sink / drown into the sea of depression.

It's really that close, It is as if I actually have to make an effort not to fall into depression.


I just can't work out what's really wrong, I mean there's the usual like crap family life, piss poor social life (though this is improving slowly), no job and no girlfriend with uni round the corner and grades to meet.

But these problems could have been solved I mean I was really popular in high school, everyone loved me and I had tons of friends, I am even the regular topic at parties, being a 'top bloke' and 'sound as a pound' but college has been a real let down in comparison and although I have a new group of friends it's just not the same.
On the job front that could also have been solved as my dad offered me a job where he works but I turned it down.
Loads of girls have wanted to go out with me ever since high school, but the one's I don't know I instantly turn them down when asked for my number and say I've got a girlfriend. And the ones I do get on with I never take it further.
However there was this one girl who I really liked but I waited so long she found herself a boyfriend.

Overall I pretty much ****ed and I'd imagine come summer that'll be it for me, I'll snap and sink into the sea of depression especially since I'll lose everyone and have to start from scratch again.

I'm also really highly stressed - I mean last year I was physically throwing up every other morning but this year it's not so bad.

Oh yeah, I pretty much lack motivation. My parents have got such low expectations of me they just throw money at me / give what I ask which really doesn't help.

I've actually started thinking that when I do get a girlfriend will things feel any better or stay the same.
:confused:

Reply 1

The only way you can change things is if you work out what you want to improbve in your life and then acting on it. Figure out why your stressed....if you can solve the things that are causing you to be stressed then you won't get so stressed. You could see you doctor as well...

Reply 2

Now, what's really unsettling is beach_surf_babe's 'exam hell' counter. I do not want to know that I have only 10 weeks to revise for my 5 A levels.

Don't pin your hopes on getting a girlfriend to solve your problems. This is unrealistic and anyway, you'll scare girls off if you come across as too needy.

Just think that in 10 weeks, according to beach_surf_babe, you won't be in the exam/revision hinterland and you'll be free to do what you like. This may or may not be reassuring. I know what you mean about being in a bit of a wilderness, but this is a 'transition' phase. I guess you should try and make the most out of the time you've got left at home...

Ha, I feel like I'm talking to myself. It's alright to give good advice...

Just remember that you're only 17/18 (?) and your life can't be '****ed' or 'over' yet. Talk to a grown-up, they'll give you some perspective on it.

Reply 3

sssh
Now, what's really unsettling is beach_surf_babe's 'exam hell' counter. I do not want to know that I have only 10 weeks to revise for my 5 A levels.


Thats not until they start...thats when they finish (for me) and its 9 weeks now!!


DISCLAIMER: I will not take personal responsibilty for the unsettling of others due to my exam hell countdown....its there to remind me this will all be over soon :biggrin:

Reply 4

Well, I have the same problems as you, OP, if not worse, but I seem to cope. Here's my advice:

Revise, revise, revise. Don't try and juggle a social life AND exams.

So you haven't got a gf? So what? What's the percentage of people in the UK that are single? If all of them felt depressed because they're single, then it'd be a sorry state of affairs. Wait for uni and then find one.

You don't have a job-another so what. I haven't and I get by. It's all about not being materialistic until you have the money to be able to be.

Above all, keep positive. If you feel depressed, read some inspirational quotes, literature, anything to perk you up, even adopt a motto that you can write each time you feel low.

Reply 5

This is the sort of inspirational literature I mean, a poem I wrote and posted in the Gallery a few weeks back. Read it and take note :wink:





Drowning Sorrows

Riding the ocean’s wild swell
Back and forth I toss and turn
No emotions or stories to tell
Felling neither loss or yearn

I can live or die either way
Stay dry-eyed or cry seas
I don’t know wether to go, stay
Or succumb to this disease

It differs on a daily basis
One day I feel I’m cured,
Next I feel I can’t face this,
And then I’m not so sure

I have faith that hope will come
To shut my door to doubt
Open my window to a sun
That shows me what life’s about

My fire is slowly burning out
All that’s left is the ember
Glowing to my dying day
Emotion I cannot remember

I see visions like Maldive seas,
A clear and beautiful sky
Despair then causes me to freeze
Crsytal tears are all I cry.

I wipe them and try again,
But puddles quickly form floods,
My ashes washed away by rain
Now all I seep is blood.

I see a glint in the mist
If I stumble in this shroud…
I’ll reach the amethyst
That lines my troubled cloud

It’s there for me to feel
I just have to fight on….
My false mirage of zeal,
Before my eyes has gone!

Vanished, and I am doomed
Fading dreams cease to be
Replaced by a liquid tomb
A grave that’s meant for me

On the edge of nowhere
There must be more to this
I wish I could just go there
Into the deep red abyss

It will be over in two flashes
My watery bed is laid
Bleached crimson from deep slashes
My thoughts begin to fade

The water cleanses my sadness
Nothing now can harm me
I feel a wave of gladness
Sweeping like a tsunami

I couldn’t cry even if I tried
I’m buried by leaden air
But it cannot be denied
It makes my glazed eyes stare

It’s there and I cannot lie
The sight is deliciously sweet,
The eyes from which I cry
See troubles beat a retreat

It’s my faint flicker of hope
My life, a waxen candle wick
It is fast running out of rope
I can save myself if I’m quick…

The sunny days are dawning
I can live to see tomorrow
The deep chasm is yawning
For me to drown my sorrow

Reply 6

Ok, so let me get this straight: your problem is that lots of girls like you, you're a really cool guy and your parents give you lots of money and don't put pressure on you?

Are you kidding?