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Alcoholics
Hey guys, 1st up sorry for this being pretty long and for posting as anonymous. If a particular person finds this thread, I'd probably lose my friendship with them.
Ok, so here goes... I'm a first year uni student and naturally have made loads of friends since I moved in to halls in September. One of which is really close and probably one of my best friends. Although, since late last year and moreso since the new year, I've noticed him really suffering. Not in a physical sense, as such but I seriously think he's an alcoholic. He's in so much debt (even with the University), and everytime he gets money he's spending it on alcohol and cigarettes.
I mean, ok, I drink and I smoke, but this is him coming home at 3 in the afternoon with 6 or 7 beers and smoking 40 or 50 a day. I'm seriously starting to worry that he has an alcohol problem. I've mentioned it to him before but he just won't seem to face it. Like I said, his financial situation is totally screwed; I don't mind lending him money as I have done before 'cos he gives it back when he has some. But I don't like seeing him screw up his degree like this - he never makes it to lectures/seminars 'cos he's too hungover and failed most of his jan exams.
Advice, anyone... please? Cheers
Ok, so here goes... I'm a first year uni student and naturally have made loads of friends since I moved in to halls in September. One of which is really close and probably one of my best friends. Although, since late last year and moreso since the new year, I've noticed him really suffering. Not in a physical sense, as such but I seriously think he's an alcoholic. He's in so much debt (even with the University), and everytime he gets money he's spending it on alcohol and cigarettes.
I mean, ok, I drink and I smoke, but this is him coming home at 3 in the afternoon with 6 or 7 beers and smoking 40 or 50 a day. I'm seriously starting to worry that he has an alcohol problem. I've mentioned it to him before but he just won't seem to face it. Like I said, his financial situation is totally screwed; I don't mind lending him money as I have done before 'cos he gives it back when he has some. But I don't like seeing him screw up his degree like this - he never makes it to lectures/seminars 'cos he's too hungover and failed most of his jan exams.
Advice, anyone... please? Cheers
I think the only way you can tackle this is to talk to them...
beach_surf_babe
I think the only way you can tackle this is to talk to them...
Problem is, I've tried... and he just thinks theres nothing wrong
Don't throw the term "alcoholic" around so loosely, every alcohol problem is NOT alcoholism. Does he sit in and drink alone all the time? Or are his money / hangover problems because he socialises too much? They're very different problems, obviously.
Toy Soldier
Don't throw the term "alcoholic" around so loosely, every alcohol problem is NOT alcoholism. Does he sit in and drink alone all the time? Or are his money / hangover problems because he socialises too much? They're very different problems, obviously.
Well, that's what I'm debating. But there's times when he's sitting in his room drinking all afternoon - around 4 until about 8 when we head to the bar to have more drinks! And then, on top of that he'll come back and drink some more. I don't know how he does it and why he doesn't have serious liver damage by now...
Anonymous
Well, that's what I'm debating. But there's times when he's sitting in his room drinking all afternoon - around 4 until about 8 when we head to the bar to have more drinks! And then, on top of that he'll come back and drink some more. I don't know how he does it and why he doesn't have serious liver damage by now...
Urr.... OK four is a bit extreme, but it's not unheard of for me to start drinking at about 7, go out at 10, get in at 3 and drink until 5. I wouldn't say I have a "problem".
Yep sounds like he needs help. If hes drinking on his own and not turning up to lectures then there must be a problem. However its going to be hard making him face up to it! Might need some professional help...
so_this_is_sam
Yep sounds like he needs help. If hes drinking on his own and not turning up to lectures then there must be a problem. However its going to be hard making him face up to it! Might need some professional help...
"Not turning up to lectures" is only a problem if he's failing because of it.
Hmm. Well, if he doesn't have a problem now he's certainly setting himself up with one in the future. Few jobs allow for drinking so early (obviously), and it takes a strong mind to get out of a drinking routine such as this.
Toy Soldier
"Not turning up to lectures" is only a problem if he's failing because of it.
He failed 3 out of 4 exams in January... and the annoying thing is, he's actually really smart; he knows his stuff. Problem is, he doesn't bother, gets depressed about it and drinks some more. And then, drinks because he's skint... it seems like an ongoing cycle.
Try and convince him he needs help for his addiction, really hes gotta be made to realise he's in trouble.
Carl1982
Try and convince him he needs help for his addiction, really hes gotta be made to realise he's in trouble.
Easier said than done, unfortunately...
It's not your place to make him stop, anyway. Make sure he knows your opinion and leave it at that. If you're really concerned have a word to someone in his family.
Yeah, I think I may have to. I'm going to have another word with him when we go back and see how things go.
I am coming to realise that I drink too much and I honestly believe I could be an alcoholic. From that point of view there are many quizzes on the net and a very good but loose program to help him decide.
www.drinkaware.co.uk
www.downyourdrink.org.uk
The last one has a diary you can keep and a 6 week program which brings awareness. Like did you no that more than 32 units a week causes permanent harm, thats only 16pints of carlsberg.
But both, and many other sites have quizzes and give you a risk assesment. Ask him to try, even just to prove you wrong.
www.drinkaware.co.uk
www.downyourdrink.org.uk
The last one has a diary you can keep and a 6 week program which brings awareness. Like did you no that more than 32 units a week causes permanent harm, thats only 16pints of carlsberg.
But both, and many other sites have quizzes and give you a risk assesment. Ask him to try, even just to prove you wrong.
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