Ex Girlfriend

Hey everybody been reading these pages for a while and respect ur opinions so wanted to know what u all think!

apologies this might get kinda long sorry...(get comfortable)

Ok well ill start at the beginning. I was going out with a girl - we had been together for almost 2 years really in love when i came to uni last october and she went into london to go to college - about a 2 hour journey to see each other. It was really hard at first I was having second thoughts about the whole thing because she didn't like it when i was going out etc and knew i was getting really drunk etc so i felt kinda restricted at uni not enjoying having a girlfriend. But when saw each other every couple of weeks it was great i couldn't have been happier really. So i put these thoughts to the back of my mind. She came to stay a for our 2 year anniversary which was amazing such a good weekend together.

The week after she phoned me and told me she basically wanted to be single in london felt like she was missing out - with my thoughts about it i agreed and thought we needed a break at least (we talked this over for ages i thought it was right for me). We basically broke up after this. She started seeing this guy who ****ed her about completely but i stayed supporting and being there for her the whole time - through this she asked me back i said no not straight after this guy and we were still getting on well as friends. We were both going out loads more now having lots of fun - I hadn't seen her happier with life in ages (more so than when we were together - hard to realise). We still talked about how when i move into london in a couple of years after uni we could imagine us getting back together and even getting married - when in a better situation.

Not long after this i really really started missing her like crazy. Just missing having her giving me love and affection and attention and someone who always cheered me up. I basically realised how much I really did love her. ("you don't realise what you've got till its gone"). I went skiing with her and her family and we got on so well had such a laugh together like old times. She's never looked so beautiful too. I thought maybe we would get back together. But couple of days after we got back she addmitted she had a new boyfriend - this hit me really hard.

We're still getting on as friends chatting etc but I really think I'm still in love with her. I spend all of my time thinking about her and how i've lost her and what i did wrong to lose her and how all i really want is for to come knock at my door get into bed with me hold me tight and say she wants me back (which i know is really stupid to keep thinking but i can't stop.) This is basically my problem.

Do i stop talking to her just try and forget about it? i don't want to lose her friendship in case i sacrifice us happening again in the future - is this stupid/naiive? should i stop talking to her lots and being in contact so much? do i go out there and get off with lots of random girls to cheer myself up? all in all how the hell can i get over her?

cheers guys and gals appreciate it

Reply 1

dan1982

chiliwilli

snip

ahh what a sad story, sorry to hear that mate. Sound like you really do care about her.
Needless to sayi dont think random kissing or sex is gona help, if anything it will stire up emotions that will make things worse.
Try talking with a close friend about it, they may find it easier to cheer you up.

On her, id say keep in contact, infact keep in contact alot. Even if it hurts, it may remind her of you alot and she may decide who shes with isnt as good.
If you stay away she may become content. Do it in anycase as a friend. If you heart can withstand it, which if she mentions her new boyfriend is going to be hard. Maybe mention how you feel but dont push on about it to much.
Time heals all wounds, and maybe look for a nice girl to start again with? If not i hope you get along well without her.
I Dont think there any magic advise that will resolves your problem. :frown:

Reply 2

Fortune Cookie

Awww - i feel for you.

Of course, people moving on is going to hurt - you can probably be secure in the fact that she's probably not as close to him as she was to you.

Because you two have shared so much - dropping the friendship is completely out of the question. Plus - if you continue the friendship, who know what will happen in the not-so distant future?

Clearly, it's not really fair for you to expect her to dump her new bf for you - unless she feels the same back. But bringing this up is not only going to be risky - it'll be damn awkward if things don't work out the way you intend them to.

Mmy advice - seeing as you're asking - is to keep the bond between you going. Relationships break up and reform just as much as they breakup and never start again.

Take each day at a time - try not to plan ahead and don't force something that's not there. In the end you'll be lying to yourself.

Would you rather have her in your life as your gf or not at all? And it's compeltely normal that it's going to hurt for a while - it's called being human *hug*

All the best :smile:

Reply 3

hugatree

Aww.. *relates*
Get her back. :smile:

If she doesn't want you back then don't stop being friends but continue what you have. You might get over her later if you accidently find someone else then. Don't think you'll get over her by not talking to her anymore.

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