Advice re an ex

Ok sorry in advance if this ends up long & confusing.

I broke up with my bf in Nov. We had been going out 3 1/2 yrs. It was nothing major, I just felt we had slipped more into friends than bf/gf. For a while we didn't have much contact (I was at uni, he was at home). We spoke on the phone a bit & I knew he wanted to get back together & wasn't happy. I did miss him but still felt we had done the right thing.

I met up with him in Jan. He told me he still loved me & was there a chance we would get back together in the future. I said no altho I thought there was a chance but I didnt want to leave him in limbo. About a week later he rang me up & said he had a new gf. I was pleased for him & we chatted a couple of times and were getting on really well as friends. He then told me about 3wks later he was engaged which I thought was a bit strange but didnt say so to him.

Just after that his new gf told him she didnt want him to talk to me anymore. He blocked me on MSN & changed his phone number (he doesnt have a home phone). I tried to contact him several times & failed. Then when I got home from uni I found out he has been meeting up with 2 of my friends which upset me when he wouldn't see me. I managed to speak to him on MSN thru another account & I was upset. He met up with me that evening & we got on really well. He gave me a hug & we chatted. He said he missed talking to me & when he had had a problem with his new gf he wanted to speak to me. He promised we would meet up again in the next 2wks. A few days later I spoke to him on MSN, again fine.

Now he has blocked me again & isn't answering phone calls/texts. I assume he told his gf we met up & she reacted badly. I don't know what to do. I really really miss just chatting to him. We were best friends before we went out as well. I feel like I want him back cos I'm having a lonely time atm but I know really I don't want that. But I really miss his friendship & I cant get him out of my mind (I told him this which I think he may have taken the wrong way). He is part of so many of my memories & I dont feel I can cut him out of my life. Should I keep trying to contact him or just forget about him? Also am I being unreasonable expecting his gf to understand we are friends & do I have any right to be a bit hurt by my friend meeting up with him?

Thanx guys & plz don't be 2 harsh!

Reply 1

Hel

Wow. I saw your post from the other day that mentioned breaking up after 3 1/2 years and I was considering asking you what happened...

That's pretty major. Sounds like his new girlfriend is a crazy control-freak psycho bitch. I'm guessing the scenario from his POV is... still in love with you, so goes and gets a rebound girlfriend, who likes him more than he likes her and suspects/realises this, so decides to go whacko and entrap him into an engagement (I guess he's pretty emotionally vulnerable atm - easy to play off for her) and cut you out of his life to keep their relationship "safe".

Hopefully he'll get out of it himself before he realises the mistake he's made, but that's no reason for you to stop trying to contact him, especially since he said he wanted to meet you again and speak to you about a problem with his girlfriend. If these other friends have ways to contact him, could you get them off him? (And maybe meeting up with those friends had something to do with him asking for advice about you?)

Reply 2

Louher

His g/f's obviously threatend by you. I wouldn't dream of telling my b/f he couldn't talk to his ex anymore. In fact he'd tell me where to go if I did lol. She musn't trust him which is not your problem.
If you manage to get in contact with him ask him why his g/f has such a problem with you. He could even introduce you to her to show her that your not a threat maybe?

Reply 3

*Claire*

I like ur opinions/advice! Esp the crazy control-freak psycho bitch bit!! I did suggest to him twice that I met up with him & his gf & he thought that was a gd idea, she presumably didnt! I wish he would stand up to her! I'm hoping he will get himself out of it but who knows! Prob is when I contact him I hear nothing in reply. Maybe I will spk 2 my friend tho.

Reply 4

El Scotto

no wonder his new girlfriends threatened after you two were together for however long. I'd never let any girl tell me who I could and couldnt speak to tho. You could be being a bit unfair on him though, contacting him all the time when he still loves you yet is trying to move on. you should only contact him when the feelings on his side have gone to otherwise you're being kinda selfish.