All she ever wanted was to fit in

*huggles*

I'm not an 'ethnic person' but I feel that I don't fit in, as I'm very shy and quiet. This makes it really hard for me to talk to others, and for others to want to talk to me.

My parents divorced when I was 2, so they've been divorced for 16 years. I used to feel that that prevented me from 'fitting-in' especially when friends used to talk about both of their parents, however, now I'm older, I don't really think about it. I also think, that in the early 90's, there was more of a stigma attached to single-parents and children who lived in a single-parent family.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

x.narb.x

whatever, yeah.

Wow you're so understanding. Prick.

Reply 5

spacedonkey

I think a LOT of people feel this way (but may not admit it). It gets better with age though. :hugs:

Reply 6

spacedonkey

I think a LOT of people feel this way (but may not admit it). It gets better with age though. :hugs:

That is very true. I think when you're in an environment, such as school, where there are not many children, then you may feel as though you don't fit in. However, when you move into the work place or university, where there are more people, and a diverse range of people, then you probably fit-in better...

That made no sense, lol, but it did in my head...

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

I see where your coming from but i dont think you are looking at the right reasons. I don't really 'fit in' anywhere either, i struggle with social contact, i've got a few friends but i can't talk to ppl i dont know very well and i always feel very different from them and uncomfortable. I also come from a disfunctional family which maybe has something to do with it but physically im what you would class as 'common' ie, white, blonde, slim etc. So i dont feel that just because your 'ethnic' you wouldnt fit in, i know a lot of ppl who are physically 'different' from the british norm but who fit in a hell of a lot better than i do. I also know ppl from other disfunctional backrounds who fit in too.
I know its horrible to be in your position but the older iv got the more iv realised there is nothing i can do to change it, i dont like pretending to be something im not so that i can fit in because that just makes me miserable too. my advice is just to embrace who you are, and find a way to use it to your advantage (not easy i know, but it might make you happy)

Reply 8

Zerforax

21

Anonymous

Wow you're so understanding. Prick.

what do you expect him to say? Your acting like a sheep for crying out loud, if anything people won't want to be with you even more because you'll appear fake. Even worse, you realise your a sheep, so what advice to you expect him to give?
If he told you to be your own person, you'd just ignore his advice anyway.
You just want us to post what you want to hear and thats not helping anyone. :mad:

Reply 9

spacedonkey

I find it depressing that people feel the need to post such unhelpful messages on threads like this :frown:

She just wants to know she's not alone and maybe hear about other people's strategies for coping with feeling like that. What the hell is wrong with that eh?

Reply 10

sarforaz

what do you expect him to say? Your acting like a sheep for crying out loud, if anything people won't want to be with you even more because you'll appear fake. Even worse, you realise your a sheep, so what advice to you expect him to give?
If he told you to be your own person, you'd just ignore his advice anyway.
You just want us to post what you want to hear and thats not helping anyone. :mad:

The poster actually asked if anyone else felt the same way as she did. She wasn't asking for advice...

Reply 11

Marie05

1

Anonymous

Hi I'm what you might call one of those 'ethnic' people or whatever yeah?

But the truth is I'm not really :p:

I just look like one b/c I'm of mixed heritage, keep in mind this is the most obvious thing that appears to make me *different* from other people... :frown:

! Which I hate b/c I just want to be like everyone else :biggrin:

Anyway to top things up I also come from a dysfunctional family who split rather acrymoniously not so long ago, mother is older than dad and other weird things that make me even weirder so I'm a bit of a sheep in my actions to make up for it. I jst desperately want to be accepted. I have felt different ever since the age of about 3 when I became to realise the other children didn't want to play with me b/c I wasn't exactly like them. Therefore this has been a never ending struggle for me.

So does anyone else on here feel the same way? I need to know. If so tell me! I know you're all out there.

i used to feel the same, because i moved to this country when i was 6 and didnt speak english very well. My family was dysfunctional as well, i was reallly quiet at school because i lacked confidence..However, in my early teens i accepted myself for who i was and before i knew it i realised everyone else accepted me for who i was too..

so... u must accept yourself first, and only then will you feel accepted.

Reply 12

spacedonkey

Marie05

so... u must accept yourself first, and only then will you feel accepted.

being the same as everyone else is overrated, it also becomes less important the older you get, I promise

Reply 13

spacedonkey

being the same as everyone else is overrated, it also becomes less important the older you get, I promise

As Delta Goodrem said "be an individual, an original"

If people don't accept you for who you are, then they are not worth the hassle :smile:

Reply 14

Flicker

Anonymous

Hi I'm what you might call one of those 'ethnic' people or whatever yeah?

But the truth is I'm not really :p:

I just look like one b/c I'm of mixed heritage, keep in mind this is the most obvious thing that appears to make me *different* from other people... :frown:

! Which I hate b/c I just want to be like everyone else :biggrin:

Anyway to top things up I also come from a dysfunctional family who split rather acrymoniously not so long ago, mother is older than dad and other weird things that make me even weirder so I'm a bit of a sheep in my actions to make up for it. I jst desperately want to be accepted. I have felt different ever since the age of about 3 when I became to realise the other children didn't want to play with me b/c I wasn't exactly like them. Therefore this has been a never ending struggle for me.

So does anyone else on here feel the same way? I need to know. If so tell me! I know you're all out there.

I don't mean to infer there are no issues here, because i'm sure there are - but just reading this it sounds like the biggest hurdle to cross for you is that of the image of yourself you have in your head. "desperately" wanting to be accepted is generally the surest way NOT to be.

Why do you want to be the same as everyone else? Embrace your own qualities! Talking about your 'dysfunctional family' and suchlike - there are many people with divorced parents, one parent, very different family situations from the stereotypical nucleur family. That's not the norm any more. The fact that your mum is older than your dad - i can't really see why that would affect people wanting to be friends with you!

I just feel that the way you feel about people not wanting to be with you because you aren't like them is probably more in your head than theirs - potentially it's because you're trying too hard to be like them!

Try and have the confidence to just be you. Do what you like, wear what you like, see who you like. I know it's impossible not to worry about what other people think, but try to push it to the back of your mind and not let it define you.

Reply 15

clyn

1

Strange...there're threads like this and then other people saying they feel boring and average with nothing to make them stand out, etc etc. It may stink justnow, but take another look- do you WANT to be just like "everyone else"? You're unusual and interesting, and that'll attract other unusual and interesting people to you. In theory.

Reply 16

Evil Phoenix