Telephone Problems

I have a bit of a weird problem, I find it really difficult ot phone people. I'm fine if people phone me, or if I'm friends with the person I'm phoning it's not normally that bad, but if I'm phoning up to ask about a job, or enquiring about work experience, or phoning 118 for a number, or even ordering a chinese, I get really nervous about phoning. I'm really reluctant to phone, and if I can work up the nerve to do it, then as I'm dialing my breathing goes weird and my heart is pounding. Sometimes I feel compelled to practically rehearse the conversation either in my head or outloud before I phone.

What is wrong with me?!

Reply 1

Navajo

Yer I'm like that, eactly the same, I have no idea why really. I just find it really hard to talk on the phone, I am kinda shy but not that shy. I used to do anything to avoid talking on the phone, I'd rather drive down the road and talk in person.

But i'm getting over it eventually. Ring me and we can have a chat about not being able to chat :biggrin:

Reply 2

Shmerm

I feel exactly the same. I'm awful on the phone, and often forget what I'm gonna say! I totally relate to the breathing and heart pounding thing.

I think it's just confidence. Maybe you're not used to ringing people up who you don't know so your nervous that you'll say something wrong. Thing is, it's people who won't care if you make a fool of yourself cos you've never got to see them face to face anyway!

For my job (in a Post Office!) I have to phone up when people want to send money via moneygram (basically the person at the other end can pick the money up within 10 minutes) and I was really scared the first time I phoned up because the people on the phone are foreigners so it's hard to understand them, but I've done it 5 or 6 times now so I'm getting more confident at it. I think the more you use the phone, the easier it gets.

So don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you!

Reply 3

tbm

I used to be the same. But since working in an office/retail, my confidence has improved and now I just cant stop talking! I used to hate using the phone and would always get my mum to do it if I ever had to phone anywhere like the doctors!

Just try to relax and smile when using the phone (people can tell down the line if you are miserable or not so bear that in mind!!), talk slowly and clearly. And the more you use it, the more confident you will feel so next time, dont think about it otherwise you'll just stress yourself out!

Reply 4

pumpkin7

i do that. i hate using the phone if i don't know who is going to pick up. as long as i know say, i'm ringing my boyfriend, he is going to pick up, then i'm fine. if i have to ring his house, iget panicy because anyone could pick up, and i might thinki it's someone else and make myself look stupid. meh.

Reply 5

Monkey_Maiden

Same

I used to be really bad and refused to pick up my phone, going so far as to making my bf and other mates answer it for me!
Getting better now, can pick up phone :p:

Still kinda scared ringing up people esp reservations for a restaurant which is odd

Reply 6

Revd. Mike

Sorry, OP belongs to me, dunno why I posted as anonymous, probably mis clicked.

Yeah, I can relate to the phoning your boyfriend thing, whenever I phone mine I always prefer to phone his mobile rather than the house, just in case someone else answers, really silly really.

Thanks guys!

Reply 7

so_this_is_sam

i dont really like the phone, but i often to have phone ppl up or talk to ppl at work so ive just got used to it! its just one of those things you have to learn to conquer!

Reply 8

xoxo_GossipGirl

I'm just totally going to parrot what everyone has said, but I used to be the same. Then I got a job as a receptionist and was answering the phone and ringing people 36 hours a week. You get over it. I think the worst thing about talking to someone on the phone is if you both start talking at the same time, it can get quite embarrassing. Just practice ringing people up, just randomly. Like ring a shop and ask if they have something in stock, you don't have to want it, but it will build up your confidence. Practice talking to people in person too. Ask for help in a shop, ask a stranger for the time, that kind of thing, it'll also help to build your confidence.

Reply 9

Wanderlust

Its ok. Its just nerves. They'll go eventually. Don't worry.

Reply 10

SilverWings

Same problem here.

I've worked out what it is, as I'm fairly confident face to face, even with people I don't know at all. I think for me it's the fact I can't see them or their reactions very well, so they could be thinking "WTF" but not saying it, but that's more because I think I'm quite good at reading body/face language when I'm talking to someone in person.

Also, my hearing isn't very good so I do a lot of lip reading, and I hate having to ask people to repeat things, even moreso on the phone.

I can't even answer to my own mum sometimes and the only people I'm totally fine with ringing are my immediate family. Meh, it's just one of those things.

Practice makes perfect and you need to practice, as I have - because phone conversations to, say, arrange an interview can make or break a career for you :smile:

Reply 11

LoveMusic

Exactly the same.

Its intresting to see how many people hate it too.

If its important, i just make myself do it straight away before i have time to worry, and i practice saying it out-loud

:smile:

Reply 12

ZanyZanny

i used to be the same but i just mad myself do it and i am not that bad now but i still have to practice what i say before i phone

Reply 13

Revd. Mike

Wow, that's really interesting the amount of people who have this problem! Thanks guys, I shall try your advice.

Reply 14

username54863

I don't really have that problem because I had to do some calling on work experience at the Wokingham Times and luckily my natural charisma overpowered my fear of sounding like a jackass, it's all about calling people as much as possible, you'll get comfortable with it.

Reply 15

quintsy

Yep- exactly the same! It was awful with work experience, as I phoned the man in charge of my placement everyday for two weeks to no avail. I completely messed up with the answer phone though.. augh.

Lesson in life- never start your answering message with: "You're obviously not there at the moment.."

Reply 16

loopyloo

my dad actually made me talk to his counsellor friend because i wouldnt ever answer the phone!! the advice i found particularly useful was just to put things in perspective and think something like 'they're are people in africa dying right now or there are soldiers being killed in iraq right now etc, and im worried about USING THE PHONE??' also she told me to think of things on a scale, and think of what was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me, so i said 'my family dying', and then she said where would you put 'phoning someone' on that scale? so ofcourse i said it would be pretty damn far below 'dead family' !! well i dont know whether that would help you but it helped me! also, she told me to write whatever i was going to say on the phone on a piece of paper, so if i panicked i had a script!
dont be embarrassed, loads of people hate using the phone! there isnt anything to be scared of really, its all in your mind. and ive found that once you START using the phone, you get used to it really quickly and its no longer a problem.

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