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"Solitude is impractical and yet society is fatal"

so uni exams are nearly done, more people goin out to night clubs and such
i do not go to bars, clubs or anything like that. I just do not want to, there is no complicated reason behind why i don't, it could be the simple fact i dont like that environment

why do people find it strange and ask those who dont go? why are people annoying? i would never comment on anyones behaviour :confused:

does anyone ever feel the same or feel that people interfere in what they should not?

Reply 1

Phonicsdude

19

DO you not drink?

Reply 2

chel

i know what you mean. im a veggie and people always seem to want to know "why" even though its none of their business.

Perhaps you should seek to find friendships with ppl who are the same as you. you could go to pubs instead (if its just bars and clubs you dont like) or just have meals/cinema/tv, its good to have social contact tho, maybe the reason people are questioning you is because they want to know if its bars you dont like or going out with a group of people? just a thought

Reply 3

Toy Soldier

3

Well I don't know exactly what you mean, as I personally would LIVE in an alcohol-selling establishment if I was allowed and had the funds. Ooooh I do like to party...

But yes, to an extent I do understand what you mean, at Uni I've met a lot of new people and a lot of them seem a little too keen on asking questions. I understand that people just want to get to know each other better, but I personally like to play my cards close to my chest. There are things about me that my best friend (who I've known for my whole life) doesn't even know, and would know not to ask about, and yet people I've known for a few months seem to think it's fine to ask. Well, it IS fine to ask - but they seem to think it's acceptable to expect an answer to their questions, and get stroppy when I don't feel like sharing.

Reply 4

Wanderlust

1

I feel like the threadstarter. In terms of not liking the environment.

I'm not sure there is a cure.

C'est la vie.

Reply 5

Phonicsdude

19

Sorry. Do you appreciate the company of your friends or not? Do you drink? This is the minimum fun to be had in a bar.

Jeez Us.

Reply 6

JitsuCol

1

I don't think it's necessary to drink so that you have a good time with friends down the pub (not alcohol anyway!). But people always ask these types of questions, as has been said, is life.

Reply 7

rock_eleven

1

I dont think its unreasonable for people to ask questions about unusual behaviour. And disliking "going out" is unusual behaviour, since the majority of uni students are into that kind of thing. Just give your reasons, or say youre not sure why but you just don't enjoy it, and thats the end of it. Same for the vegetarian, its unusual, and theres different reasons why people adopt such a diet, so it seems acceptable to me that people might ask about it. If you dont wish to discuss it, say so, and I doubt they would take offence.

Reply 8

dancingqueen

11

Toy Soldier

Well I don't know exactly what you mean, as I personally would LIVE in an alcohol-selling establishment if I was allowed and had the funds. Ooooh I do like to party...

But yes, to an extent I do understand what you mean, at Uni I've met a lot of new people and a lot of them seem a little too keen on asking questions. I understand that people just want to get to know each other better, but I personally like to play my cards close to my chest. There are things about me that my best friend (who I've known for my whole life) doesn't even know, and would know not to ask about, and yet people I've known for a few months seem to think it's fine to ask. Well, it IS fine to ask - but they seem to think it's acceptable to expect an answer to their questions, and get stroppy when I don't feel like sharing.

What kinds of questions do you mean? Sometime I feel as though I ask lots of questions, but I thought it was good conversation :frown:

Reply 9

Bexxxx

14

My uni exams havent even started!

Maybe instead of putting a foot down about going to one, you should open your mind a bit and try it.

Reply 10

different?

2

I can understand where you're coming from to an extent, I don't drink, I don't like the club/bar environment, but maybe these people are just trying to be friendly and include you in their celebrations that uni exams are nearly over? However I can understand why you have been annoyed by it, if you think that they're just saying it in a false kind of way or if they're trying to change you to be like them in a bullying way. I can also totally sympathise with the idea that people interfere where it's really not necessary, I seem to be surrounded by a bunch of weirdos (apart from my good friends obviously) who if I do ANYTHING seem to want to report it to everyone they know, even if it something as simple as saying that i would prefer to eat at X rather then Y. Strange, and also irritating in the long term. Like toy soldier I also play my cards fairly close to my chest, i don't feel the need to tell someone i have never met before every minute detail of my life, although i do open up a lot to my friends. I think what irks me most is how false people are.

Reply 11

mermania

16

I feel your pain. The asking doesn't bother me, it's how insistent they are about it. "Why don't you want to go?"
"because I don't enjoy myself at clubs, in fact they make me rather miserable"
"but they're great! Why do they make you miserable?"
"because.......they do."

when it comes to opinions people find it very hard to understand anyone's views but their own and for some reason this is especially true when it comes to clubs/pubs/anything involving alcohol.

my response is usually "I don't like it" over and over again or I make up an elaborate story about how I got into alcohol/drugs in my early teens and completely messed up my life for a few years, so it took a lot of hard work and determination to straighten myself out and get to uni and I don't want to risk falling into that pit again.

one girl thinks I was a heroin addict at 13, though she also believed me when I told her I got a civil partnership with my best mate for a laugh...

Reply 12

L i b

19

Anonymous

so uni exams are nearly done, more people goin out to night clubs and such
i do not go to bars, clubs or anything like that. I just do not want to, there is no complicated reason behind why i don't, it could be the simple fact i dont like that environment

why do people find it strange and ask those who dont go? why are people annoying? i would never comment on anyones behaviour :confused:

does anyone ever feel the same or feel that people interfere in what they should not?

Because pubs especially are where people go to simply socialise - you know, talk to each other. If you refuse to go to the pub with people it's often considered a social snub since that is the primary reason they wanting to go...

Reply 13

naivesincerity

2

Anonymous

so uni exams are nearly done, more people goin out to night clubs and such
i do not go to bars, clubs or anything like that. I just do not want to, there is no complicated reason behind why i don't, it could be the simple fact i dont like that environment

why do people find it strange and ask those who dont go? why are people annoying? i would never comment on anyones behaviour :confused:

does anyone ever feel the same or feel that people interfere in what they should not?

I was a bit like that at sixth form. Nout to do with disliking pubs, I like them. I just thought the company was too much of a pain, I couldnt be arsed to hang about with these dicks for just a few people I liked. People interfere 'cos at that age, thye find it amazing that someone wouldnt want to be part of the crowd i guess

Reply 14

icedout

1

Anonymous

it could be the simple fact i dont like that environment

You don't like a social environment? Then you wonder why people don't like you... :rolleyes:

Reply 15

mermania

16

icedout

You don't like a social environment? Then you wonder why people don't like you... :rolleyes:

or maybe they don't like an environment full of smoke and loudmouthed drunks. Just maybe.

I really dislike how not enjoying clubs/pubs makes you a weirdo rather than just different. It's ridiculous, and you exemplify that. Well done.

Reply 16

graveyarddreams

13

Anonymous

so uni exams are nearly done, more people goin out to night clubs and such
i do not go to bars, clubs or anything like that. I just do not want to, there is no complicated reason behind why i don't, it could be the simple fact i dont like that environment

why do people find it strange and ask those who dont go? why are people annoying? i would never comment on anyones behaviour :confused:

does anyone ever feel the same or feel that people interfere in what they should not?

Absolutely. I find that the majority of people tends not to understand that what is 'interesting' or 'boring' is subject to opinion. It's quite simple to them, if you don't go to those popular places people go, you are a looser. But i'm fine with that.

Reply 17

icedout

1

mermania

or maybe they don't like an environment full of smoke and loudmouthed drunks. Just maybe.

I really dislike how not enjoying clubs/pubs makes you a weirdo rather than just different. It's ridiculous, and you exemplify that. Well done.

There are plenty of people who go to pubs and bars without drinking or smoking. I'm not saying the OP should go on a pub crawl every day, but never going to pubs or bars isn't going to win you any friends. Either accept it or find other people who like the same kind of thing you do. And people probably aren't 'interfering' rather than just trying to be nice. If I asked someone to the pub I wouldn't expect them to get offended and complain on a message board.

Reply 18

la fille danse

17

icedout

You don't like a social environment? Then you wonder why people don't like you... :rolleyes:

So... you have to like every kind of social environment that exists, in order to have people like you?

Reply 19

never_ending

12

Yep I feel the same. Last year I stopped drinking; my friends find it strange. I don't mind the pub, but they've gradually stopped inviting me when they go...since it's the only place they do go I don't see them anymore. It really sucks, I feel like a complete social pariah, but there's not much to do apart from compromise my principles...no thankyou. All that happens is they make ***** out of themselves and cheat on their partners. I was hoping when I go to uni there would be so many people that some would not indulge in this kind of whorish behaviour, but after reading the first post, maybe not :frown: