The Student Room Group

Getting over her

Presently, I’m not living in England, but I hope you can relate to my thoughts and feelings anyway.

To introduce myself, I’m an 18-year-old guy in my last year of high school. This fall, I intend to commence a LL.B. at a respectable university in my home country.

When I was 15/16 my parents got divorced and it was a really hard time for me since I’ve always counted on my family as something stabile. I’ve always been very arrogant since I’m good looking and have a rich WASP background. When my parents got a divorce however, I was vulnerable and didn’t mind showing that I appreciated support from my surroundings.

I began seeing a wonderful and beautiful girl of Scandinavian origin, and at the end of the summer ’03 we decided to be together. I really loved her, I wasn’t arrogant when I was with her and I just felt I could be myself in a way I couldn’t be with others (not even my parents). She was really beautiful and I was so proud that she was my girlfriend. No matter what happened, I was never afraid ‘cause I always knew that she would listen to me and encourage me to exercise responsible and ethical correct judgement.

I just loved to talk with her and support her, and as both of my parents are partners in a law firm, I ended up spending a great deal of my time with her and her family.

We were together for two years, but never had ‘real’ sex only ‘oral’ sex. The reason for this was that I couldn’t ‘perform’ when condoms were involved. When we were together I didn’t mind so much as I thought we did stimulate each other on a sexual level and I was sure we would eventually have sex.

BUT, six months ago she broke up with me and three weeks after the break up she was dating another guy a guy whom she lost her virginity to. When I think about it which I do on a daily basis even though I haven’t seen her for 3 months now I get really sick. I just want to scream and let it all out. I always thought I was irreplaceable and that she would never hurt me in such a way believe me, she appears to be a real Christian princess but nevertheless she does, and the worst part of it is that she just keep telling me that we shouldn’t see each other as that would be complicated for me………

I just don’t know, I always thought I was going to marry that girl but know I don’t know, I feel so alone and I can’t imagine myself being with another girl (they all seem so dull compared to her) though I really miss being in a relationship. When I get drunk, I always just leave the party alone and go home to cry… It’s just, I don’t know, my princess went home with another guy and had sex with him (know they’re together) and she doesn’t even want to have anything to do with me (though she claims she is not actually rejecting me, apparently, we just weren’t a good couple)…… And if that wasn’t enough, my so-called friends always remind me of the fact that I was together with the most beautiful girl, but never had sex with. I don’t know. I know I should be happy on the surface I’m a real winner with great prospects career-wise but all I can think about is that the pure love/connection I had with my Scandinavian princess has just turned into a sea of flames in my heart and these 7 months hasn’t really healed any of my wounds.

Any advice?
why dont you write a letter explaining how you feel and then rip it up, as a sign of you getting your feelings out and marking it as the first step in getting over her.
you will find someone else, that girl was perfect for you but im sure someone else will be perfect for you too. look for a girl that perhaps has the same qualities as the girl you used to go out with then you can connect with her and an emotional and physical level
Reply 2
hhhmmm good advice Dr Evil.. (wow that doesnt sound weird lol) I wouldnt say look for a girl with the exact same qualitties as she had, because you dont want to fall into the trap of constantly comparing them both. Iv had it done and it is the most annoying thing in the world!
Dedicate some time to yourself, not staring the mirror thinking about how everthing has gone alone time, like going out with friends and forgetting about "trying to find the one" because things happen for a reason. Who knows, in a years time this girl might contact you out the blue again. She was perfect for you at that time of your life, but what about next year, or the year after? Think about all the time you've spent worrying, stressing and thinking about it and think what you could have been doing instead? Just think, instead of sitting home last weekend you could have met the most perfect woman in the world at the supermarket (ok lame example but get my point)

Things will get better, but only you can allow yourself to move on, it doesnt mean forget she exists but think of all the people you could be meeting right now instead?

Cheer up sweety *hugs*

~* Robs *~