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Parents arguing, are they right?
My parents are constantly comparing me to other peoples kids cause I don't have a job and quit uni, which they yelled at and encouraged me to do (I had this panic attack thing and wasn't going in, I know its pathetic but thats what happened)
The thing is we start arguing every night and it all starts with a friendly conversation eg last night we were talking about some old friends who are moving near us and suddenly my dad said 'they are going to want to talk and ask about your life what are you going to say to them'
I said 'I'l tell them im looking for work and applying to uni' then my mum laughed and started yelling about how much of a loser I am and how I have no life, then after 5 mins she said 'anyway, I don't want this every night, your not satisfied until you have me at screaming pitch your twisted I want to relax when I come home from work not listen to this, your so selfish its always about you you you all the time'
My dad agreed with her and told me to p*** off so I left the room. This happens every night and they don't seem to realise that they are the ones who start talking about me!! I could move out but Im scared, am I the one in the wrong though? Ive really no idea.
The thing is we start arguing every night and it all starts with a friendly conversation eg last night we were talking about some old friends who are moving near us and suddenly my dad said 'they are going to want to talk and ask about your life what are you going to say to them'
I said 'I'l tell them im looking for work and applying to uni' then my mum laughed and started yelling about how much of a loser I am and how I have no life, then after 5 mins she said 'anyway, I don't want this every night, your not satisfied until you have me at screaming pitch your twisted I want to relax when I come home from work not listen to this, your so selfish its always about you you you all the time'
My dad agreed with her and told me to p*** off so I left the room. This happens every night and they don't seem to realise that they are the ones who start talking about me!! I could move out but Im scared, am I the one in the wrong though? Ive really no idea.
Reply 2
Nuheen
I do feel sorry for you 
. You are not on the wrong side.
I do feel sorry for you . You are not on the wrong side.Thanks, im not really looking for sympathy as lately Ive been up all night and getting up at 5pm lol so guess you can say im lazy and see why my parents are annoyed, but I hate it when they start yelling then blame me for winding them up!
Are you actually making an effort? Looking for a job, helping round the house, etc. If you're not then I can understand why they're so pissed off to be honest, it must be frustrating for them. However, I don't think it's fair to blame you for making them shout. They're shouting of their own free will, you're just the trigger.
I think if you want to make things better then you're going to have to get your act together, ie not lazing around in bed all day and doing nothing. It would definitely help to improve the situation if you offered to help out whenever you could and just made their lives a bit easier.
I don't know your situation properly from what you've said there, but I reckon you must be partly to blame for the arguments, don't you?
I think if you want to make things better then you're going to have to get your act together, ie not lazing around in bed all day and doing nothing. It would definitely help to improve the situation if you offered to help out whenever you could and just made their lives a bit easier.
I don't know your situation properly from what you've said there, but I reckon you must be partly to blame for the arguments, don't you?
Reply 4
Anonymous
My parents are constantly comparing me to other peoples kids cause I don't have a job and quit uni, which they yelled at and encouraged me to do (I had this panic attack thing and wasn't going in, I know its pathetic but thats what happened)
The thing is we start arguing every night and it all starts with a friendly conversation eg last night we were talking about some old friends who are moving near us and suddenly my dad said 'they are going to want to talk and ask about your life what are you going to say to them'
I said 'I'l tell them im looking for work and applying to uni' then my mum laughed and started yelling about how much of a loser I am and how I have no life, then after 5 mins she said 'anyway, I don't want this every night, your not satisfied until you have me at screaming pitch your twisted I want to relax when I come home from work not listen to this, your so selfish its always about you you you all the time'
My dad agreed with her and told me to p*** off so I left the room. This happens every night and they don't seem to realise that they are the ones who start talking about me!! I could move out but Im scared, am I the one in the wrong though? Ive really no idea.
The thing is we start arguing every night and it all starts with a friendly conversation eg last night we were talking about some old friends who are moving near us and suddenly my dad said 'they are going to want to talk and ask about your life what are you going to say to them'
I said 'I'l tell them im looking for work and applying to uni' then my mum laughed and started yelling about how much of a loser I am and how I have no life, then after 5 mins she said 'anyway, I don't want this every night, your not satisfied until you have me at screaming pitch your twisted I want to relax when I come home from work not listen to this, your so selfish its always about you you you all the time'
My dad agreed with her and told me to p*** off so I left the room. This happens every night and they don't seem to realise that they are the ones who start talking about me!! I could move out but Im scared, am I the one in the wrong though? Ive really no idea.
I'm in the same situation. Exact same even. I had anxiety and all that about uni too, plus the course wasn't what I wanted.
I just tell people I'm working this year and thinking about going to uni again next year to do [a course I like]...
Just tell them everyone is an individual and ask your mum does she compare your dad to pornstars or something? :P
If she doesn't then tell her to stop giving you crap for trying to find your way in life. People are individual, they aren't all the same or even similar.
Reply 6
squirly
Are you actually making an effort? Looking for a job, helping round the house, etc. If you're not then I can understand why they're so pissed off to be honest, it must be frustrating for them. However, I don't think it's fair to blame you for making them shout. They're shouting of their own free will, you're just the trigger.
I think if you want to make things better then you're going to have to get your act together, ie not lazing around in bed all day and doing nothing. It would definitely help to improve the situation if you offered to help out whenever you could and just made their lives a bit easier.
I don't know your situation properly from what you've said there, but I reckon you must be partly to blame for the arguments, don't you?
I think if you want to make things better then you're going to have to get your act together, ie not lazing around in bed all day and doing nothing. It would definitely help to improve the situation if you offered to help out whenever you could and just made their lives a bit easier.
I don't know your situation properly from what you've said there, but I reckon you must be partly to blame for the arguments, don't you?
I do house jobs etc but when they start calling me I just don't feel like helping them etc out of anger, which is really childish I know since they pay for the food etc but thats how I think, I know im in the wrong in this respect I should change.
I wouldn't say im to blame for the arguments, they don't have to talk about me its their choice, then they blame me for winding them up even when I ignore them for the whole argument.
Reply 7
Try showing them that you are making an effort... Do some things around the house and let them see you looking for jobs, trying to get work, etc.
Reply 8
It seems that problems aside, you have anxiety but they don't understand it, have you tried talking to them about the reason you quit uni? Ive been through a similar thing.
Reply 9
Riddy
It seems that problems aside, you have anxiety but they don't understand it, have you tried talking to them about the reason you quit uni? Ive been through a similar thing.
They know, my relatives think im using it as an excuse though, I told them I started panicking on the way to uni and my aunt replied with 'I don't feel like getting up for work every morning' I said 'at least you don't collapse and she was like 'how do you know, were just made of stronger stuff' Shes a mental health worker too so has proberbly done about anxiety etc, this is what annoys me they hate me and gang up lol!
Reply 11
Maybe you could try getting some sort of part time job just to shut them up? It then gives you a bit of time to think about what it is you actually want to do, and gives you a bit of money to get out the house so your not constantly under each other's feet perhaps?
I think their probably just worried about you and it's just coming across the wrong way
I think their probably just worried about you and it's just coming across the wrong way
Anonymous
My parents are constantly comparing me to other peoples kids cause I don't have a job and quit uni, which they yelled at and encouraged me to do (I had this panic attack thing and wasn't going in, I know its pathetic but thats what happened)
The thing is we start arguing every night and it all starts with a friendly conversation eg last night we were talking about some old friends who are moving near us and suddenly my dad said 'they are going to want to talk and ask about your life what are you going to say to them'
I said 'I'l tell them im looking for work and applying to uni' then my mum laughed and started yelling about how much of a loser I am and how I have no life, then after 5 mins she said 'anyway, I don't want this every night, your not satisfied until you have me at screaming pitch your twisted I want to relax when I come home from work not listen to this, your so selfish its always about you you you all the time'
My dad agreed with her and told me to p*** off so I left the room. This happens every night and they don't seem to realise that they are the ones who start talking about me!! I could move out but Im scared, am I the one in the wrong though? Ive really no idea.
The thing is we start arguing every night and it all starts with a friendly conversation eg last night we were talking about some old friends who are moving near us and suddenly my dad said 'they are going to want to talk and ask about your life what are you going to say to them'
I said 'I'l tell them im looking for work and applying to uni' then my mum laughed and started yelling about how much of a loser I am and how I have no life, then after 5 mins she said 'anyway, I don't want this every night, your not satisfied until you have me at screaming pitch your twisted I want to relax when I come home from work not listen to this, your so selfish its always about you you you all the time'
My dad agreed with her and told me to p*** off so I left the room. This happens every night and they don't seem to realise that they are the ones who start talking about me!! I could move out but Im scared, am I the one in the wrong though? Ive really no idea.
No your not in the wrong at all, the thing is some parents dont like to admit when there wrong, and you dont have to go to uni to be a sucsess anyway.
Best thing you can do is get yourself sorted and go prove them wrong, then see what they say.
If you are thinking about a part time job i'd really consider working nights in something easy like a supermarket or something, i don't get on with my family and this arrangement works pretty well, lol i'm leaving as they're coming home and i'm asleep when they get up 
It may sound mean but it helps keep the peace.
IMO you're not in the wrong, it doesn't really sound as though they're trying to understand about your panic attacks, and they must realise that you can't feel brilliant about leaving uni. Do you think if you had more support you'd have more confidence and the panic attacks would maybe die down a little? (Sorry if this seems really random, i dont know much about panic attacks!).
Parents are unreasonable creatures...
It may sound mean but it helps keep the peace.IMO you're not in the wrong, it doesn't really sound as though they're trying to understand about your panic attacks, and they must realise that you can't feel brilliant about leaving uni. Do you think if you had more support you'd have more confidence and the panic attacks would maybe die down a little? (Sorry if this seems really random, i dont know much about panic attacks!).
Parents are unreasonable creatures...
It's wrong of them to explode at you like that, they must feel pretty angry, upset, hurt and such for them to do so.
There is pretty much only one way to stop it all.
Sit down with a piece of paper, and write a plan. Jot down where you want to be heading, how you want to get there, what will be the first step. As much as you can. Keep coming back to it and adding to it - adding more details. Use the internet to look at your possibilities. Look into ways to control your anxiety. Work out the ifs/hows and whens of attempting university.
If you can produce to your parents a solid plan that you actually intend to put into action, then they will have nothing to shout at you about. If you are working out where you're heading and are putting ideas to practice then they are going to have a lot more respect for you.
So work out clearly what you want to be doing. And do it.
There is pretty much only one way to stop it all.
Sit down with a piece of paper, and write a plan. Jot down where you want to be heading, how you want to get there, what will be the first step. As much as you can. Keep coming back to it and adding to it - adding more details. Use the internet to look at your possibilities. Look into ways to control your anxiety. Work out the ifs/hows and whens of attempting university.
If you can produce to your parents a solid plan that you actually intend to put into action, then they will have nothing to shout at you about. If you are working out where you're heading and are putting ideas to practice then they are going to have a lot more respect for you.
So work out clearly what you want to be doing. And do it.
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