This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Is it even worth being kind to people anymore?
- General rant
- Year 13 grade anxiety
- adhd diagnosis
- Housemate might have feelings for me
- Why is religion against sex?
- University in Italy vs UK
- interveiw
- Wetherspoons job process??
- calling all grade 9 french students - speaking exam
- magda's work blog <3
- Didn't get the grades for medicine and I don't know what I should do now
- dentistry interview 2025
- University of targu mures' campus in hamburg
- How can I keep my mental health sane whilst living with my housemates?
- What do I say????
- Changing University to UCL, How to SFE?
- I messed up my CGPA/GPA.
- Oxford rejection cope
- A Level and Level 3 Diploma
Help me... I'm generally messed up...
I'm 18. I suffer from depression. I've been on medication, but I didn't like being on them so came off - they didn't make me feel any better and I hated the side-effects (which I don't really want to go into).
I have few to no friends, and those I do have I talk to rarely. I don't want to do any work. I never go out at night. I don't get on with my Dad, and he's the only person close to me, and he has his own troubles and his life is as bad as mine.
I basically spend most of my time on the computer or watching TV alone, and have done for years... I don't know how to be normal and functioning and I am extremely worried about myself. I worry I will never be normal, I will never get a girl, that I will never feel comfortable and be like other people. That I won't ever be able to go out and make friends. I can't focus, and my exams are soon and I'm scared I'm going to wreck the rest of my life because I feel this way.
I don't know what to do about it. Things seem to be getting worse and worse with no end in sight. I've never been as unhappy, or as unfocused as I am now. I really don't know what to do... I'm not a horrible person and I don't lie and I try to be as nice as possible but nothing ever seems to work out well no matter how hard I try, so I don't see the point anymore.
I have few to no friends, and those I do have I talk to rarely. I don't want to do any work. I never go out at night. I don't get on with my Dad, and he's the only person close to me, and he has his own troubles and his life is as bad as mine.
I basically spend most of my time on the computer or watching TV alone, and have done for years... I don't know how to be normal and functioning and I am extremely worried about myself. I worry I will never be normal, I will never get a girl, that I will never feel comfortable and be like other people. That I won't ever be able to go out and make friends. I can't focus, and my exams are soon and I'm scared I'm going to wreck the rest of my life because I feel this way.
I don't know what to do about it. Things seem to be getting worse and worse with no end in sight. I've never been as unhappy, or as unfocused as I am now. I really don't know what to do... I'm not a horrible person and I don't lie and I try to be as nice as possible but nothing ever seems to work out well no matter how hard I try, so I don't see the point anymore.
Im guessign your at college? Try and get an appoitment with the college councillor and talk to her/him how you are feeling. Arrange to meet up with the friends you do have go clubbin etc so therefore you can meet girls. Get a job this way youll meet people and make new friends. Limit the time you go on the internet and watch tv and revise, join clubs good luck x
well I know this might seem as a stupid question but why don't you become more social? you don't want to? you don't know how? you can't be bothered to?
the thing with being alone is that you have too much time to think about yourself which makes you even more depressed (I expererienced it once) .. but believe me..once you've done the first step of reducing your solitude you'll become better...of course you have to choose the right people to be around..
and maybe it would be a good idea to start gradually... like you go out tomorrow and you'll see how you will react and what will happen and then you'll give it some time before you go out again... I was once really depressed...about a year ago and I thought it will never go away..but it did eventually.....
the thing with being alone is that you have too much time to think about yourself which makes you even more depressed (I expererienced it once) .. but believe me..once you've done the first step of reducing your solitude you'll become better...of course you have to choose the right people to be around..
and maybe it would be a good idea to start gradually... like you go out tomorrow and you'll see how you will react and what will happen and then you'll give it some time before you go out again... I was once really depressed...about a year ago and I thought it will never go away..but it did eventually.....
the_fridge
well I know this might seem as a stupid question but why don't you become more social? you don't want to? you don't know how? you can't be bothered to?
I do try... but I only get a chance to meet people at school, and I can't socialise with them outside. At school I have a few friends but outside I struggle to keep in contact and I live extremely far away so going out with people from school is borderline impossible.
and maybe it would be a good idea to start gradually... like you go out tomorrow and you'll see how you will react and what will happen and then you'll give it some time before you go out again... I was once really depressed...about a year ago and I thought it will never go away..but it did eventually.....
But where and how? I've got to go to school and get home... but I don't know where to go locally at all. It sounds like a pathetic excuse but I really don't know - I've never done it before. If I went somewhere on my own I feel I'd just end up in a corner feeling sorry for myself which would just make me feel worse. It's rubbish.
littlemisssarah
Im guessign your at college? Try and get an appoitment with the college councillor and talk to her/him how you are feeling. Arrange to meet up with the friends you do have go clubbin etc so therefore you can meet girls. Get a job this way youll meet people and make new friends. Limit the time you go on the internet and watch tv and revise, join clubs good luck x
We don't have a college councillor, and I don't think anyone I do know sees me as the 'clubbing' kind, and the logistics of getting the opportunity to go out with friends is very difficult.
well this is just a suggestion but you can try to go to the gym or become a member of a sports team (good place to find friends) or maybe if you're artistic you can sign up for some external art classes or... there are vast ranges of opportunities .. it depends on what you like to do... do you have any hobbies?? I'm sure you do...
I'm not artistic, musical or sporty in the least unfortunately. I'm a computer and maths geek... which aren't the most sociable pursuits in the world. 
and what about going to an internet caffe?? you'll be on-line but still have the chance of meeting new people 
Sounds like you're in a hard and lonely place but I think it would help if you had some outside external help for backup. If there's no counselling system im place at school (legally there should be something or at least a named person dealing with welfare issues) you can go to your local Connexions office if not your GP. It's important to have someone who has an idea of what's going on for you, who you can touch base with, even if they are not the be-all and end-all. At the moment I'm guesssing no one knows how bad things are for you, although they may have some clues.
When you're depressed it's hard to keep an interest in hobbies, but think about what you do like: gigs, sport, art, like the other repliers have mentioned.
The friends you do have at college, what do you talk about with them? What draws you to them? Any shared interests? Could you suggest some evenings out (you may have to push yourself to do this) and explain that it's hard living so far away and maybe arrange to meet earlier?
Do what you can, every small step is a step towards helping yourself, and congratulate yourself for that. Good luck, and you're not alone.
When you're depressed it's hard to keep an interest in hobbies, but think about what you do like: gigs, sport, art, like the other repliers have mentioned.
The friends you do have at college, what do you talk about with them? What draws you to them? Any shared interests? Could you suggest some evenings out (you may have to push yourself to do this) and explain that it's hard living so far away and maybe arrange to meet earlier?
Do what you can, every small step is a step towards helping yourself, and congratulate yourself for that. Good luck, and you're not alone.
Are you going to uni? I think that would be a great opportunity for you. You're likely to make many new friends there... just make sure that you start off positive and say yes to everything and then there'll be no turning back.
I realise the logistics of getting an invite to do something with your friends maybe difficult now, but maybe, why not ask them to do something... just pluck up the courage, and make the suggestion. If they are your friends, they won't mind and may actually be quite pleased.
I think, however, that you do need to recgonise that you must put in some serious work for your exams (I'm guessing your in your 2nd year at college) and that therefore this might not be the best time to start making this change - can you do the work and become more social at the same time. Maybe you'd be better taking things slowing, making more of an effort with your friends over the summer to get you 'used to' being social, then you can arrive at uni with confidence and really to say yes to everything and then you'll really arrive on the social scene.
Hope this helps.
(I have been in this type of situation before - socially, not the other problem, but I've had friends with depression - so feel free to PM me.)
I realise the logistics of getting an invite to do something with your friends maybe difficult now, but maybe, why not ask them to do something... just pluck up the courage, and make the suggestion. If they are your friends, they won't mind and may actually be quite pleased.
I think, however, that you do need to recgonise that you must put in some serious work for your exams (I'm guessing your in your 2nd year at college) and that therefore this might not be the best time to start making this change - can you do the work and become more social at the same time. Maybe you'd be better taking things slowing, making more of an effort with your friends over the summer to get you 'used to' being social, then you can arrive at uni with confidence and really to say yes to everything and then you'll really arrive on the social scene.
Hope this helps.
(I have been in this type of situation before - socially, not the other problem, but I've had friends with depression - so feel free to PM me.)
Ok you're not sporty or musical. But do you like watching sport? Don't have to have a season ticket to go to smaller football matches, basketball, ice hockey, rugby.
Staying fit make can improve mental health. Even if you're not in the habit of it, why not try a circuit training class- there's no pressure to talk to other ppl, you can just start off saying hello and goodbye. You might go for a drink at Easter and Xmas time with the rest of the group. It might not lead anywhere long-term friends-wise, but it's a social activity.
And everyone likes some form of music, generally various forms. Think of a band you like, and see when they're next touring, and try and get a few ppl along. Or go on an internet forum about that band, and there'll be ppl there you can hook up with at a gig.
And if you can't think of any music you like, put on the radio more often until you hear songs you do like.
Staying fit make can improve mental health. Even if you're not in the habit of it, why not try a circuit training class- there's no pressure to talk to other ppl, you can just start off saying hello and goodbye. You might go for a drink at Easter and Xmas time with the rest of the group. It might not lead anywhere long-term friends-wise, but it's a social activity.
And everyone likes some form of music, generally various forms. Think of a band you like, and see when they're next touring, and try and get a few ppl along. Or go on an internet forum about that band, and there'll be ppl there you can hook up with at a gig.
And if you can't think of any music you like, put on the radio more often until you hear songs you do like.
i agree with the person who said going to uni will help (if you are planning to). That will be a fresh start, and you will have the chance to turn your life around completely. Just be as nice as you can to everybody, go to loads of events in the first few weeks at least, chat to people and don't hide away in your room...people are guaranteed to like you and you will automatically have loads of friends
There are tons of weird societies in uni too, most of which you can join as a beginner.
my apologies if you aren't going to uni though...this post will be pretty useless then
There are tons of weird societies in uni too, most of which you can join as a beginner.my apologies if you aren't going to uni though...this post will be pretty useless then
i was in a very similar position to you only 1 month ago and what i did was that i managed to get a decent part-time job and I have also managed to learn to drive and pass my test. Just doing those two things has made me a much happier person, though in truth, either was brilliant for me. work gave me a social life, and driving gave me a sense of independance. one suggestion would be to just try and get to know some new people and just try and look cheerful, even if you dont feel it
I know you said you aren't sporty but I think sport might really help you. You could try a number of sports until you find one which you enjoy and you could keep up that sport and maybe join a club or team. Once you are in a team with people you will find it easier to talk to them because you are all working towards the same thing and you have the same experiences which you can talk about. I suppose it doesn't have to be a sporting team and it could be any type of team but I think the bond between people in a sports team is quite strong because people normally get quite psyched up when it comes to big games and stuff. You could at least give it a try and see how it goes because it could make a big difference to your life.
Go back to your doctor and see about different medication- there are so many different types you might find one that helps and doesn't affect you adversely.
If you think this will ruin your life and you've been suffering for a while then I think it's probably the best thing you can do to start with. It won't make all your problems go away but it'll certainly improve things in a way which makes it easier for you to change your own life, like trying to socialise more, as people have suggested.
If you think this will ruin your life and you've been suffering for a while then I think it's probably the best thing you can do to start with. It won't make all your problems go away but it'll certainly improve things in a way which makes it easier for you to change your own life, like trying to socialise more, as people have suggested.
Anonymous
I'm 18. I suffer from depression. I've been on medication, but I didn't like being on them so came off - they didn't make me feel any better and I hated the side-effects (which I don't really want to go into).
To add to what puppy said: I don't know what medication you were on, but there's a very broad selection available, in various chemical classes. I suspect you were probably given some sort of SSRI, perhaps like fluoxetine (Prozac), which is often the first attempted, because it's relatively well tolerated. It is, however, fairly slow to act, and riddled with side effects. There are newer drugs, SNRIs, which act on both noradrenaline and serotonin, and which work often very quickly, especially venlafaxine (Efexor); if anything is certain to lift someone out of severe depression, that is it (although the range of side effects is less than pleasant). There are older drugs, such as MAO inhibitors, which are worth avoiding: they involve a great deal of dietary restriction. There are also tricyclics, which are often used when more recent antidepressants have failed; they kick in in as little as a week, and some are relatively free of side effects, lofepramine being probably the mildest.
I personally disliked Prozac enormously; and with duloxetine, one of the SNRIS, I experienced a great number of side effects: fainting spells, insomnia, sexual dysfunction, and quasi-manic states, which were all less than pleasant. At the moment I'm using lofepramine, which so far has been entirely free of side effects, and which has greatly improved my sleep (though it's rather too early to guage its effects upon mood).
To put it shortly, antidepressant therapy is a useful adjunct to the treatment of depression; and an antidepressant with which you feel comfortable, which acts quickly and has relatively few side effects, will alleviate your depression to the extent that you're prepared to engage with the world, and live.
I do try... but I only get a chance to meet people at school, and I can't socialise with them outside
You CAN'T or don't want to? Clubs such as sports or something you enjoy doing - even if its an individual activity but you can sit with others doing the same thing - are great ways of meeting people with like-interests. My school, college and university all had huge ranges of during and after class sessions with something for everyone if they wanted to go. My advice is to try and get yourself out of the rut you find yourself in, break it and get talking to people. Someone mentioned a school nurse or counsellor, a great idea to go talk to them, they will know the school, its clubs and the people to get in touch with,
Good luck x
You CAN'T or don't want to? Clubs such as sports or something you enjoy doing - even if its an individual activity but you can sit with others doing the same thing - are great ways of meeting people with like-interests. My school, college and university all had huge ranges of during and after class sessions with something for everyone if they wanted to go. My advice is to try and get yourself out of the rut you find yourself in, break it and get talking to people. Someone mentioned a school nurse or counsellor, a great idea to go talk to them, they will know the school, its clubs and the people to get in touch with,
Good luck x
can someone tell me how you get antidepressants? stupid question but do you just go to a normal GP or do you have to see some sort of counsellor?
Anonymous
can someone tell me how you get antidepressants? stupid question but do you just go to a normal GP or do you have to see some sort of counsellor?
GPs can prescribe them if they think they're necessary. Occasionally they refer you to a psychiatrist who's able to prescribe.
Anonymous
GPs can prescribe them if they think they're necessary. Occasionally they refer you to a psychiatrist who's able to prescribe.
so...it would be possible to just go to a health centre and ask for some prozac? i wouldn't want to see a psychiatrist
Anonymous
so...it would be possible to just go to a health centre and ask for some prozac? i wouldn't want to see a psychiatrist
actually it might be a good idea to go see a proper psychologist before getting prosac..there are many other anti-depresants which might be more suitable for you...or maybe he/she will even decide that you shouldn't take anti-depresants at all... it's too dangerous to play around with those pills trust me..
Related discussions
- Is it even worth being kind to people anymore?
- General rant
- Year 13 grade anxiety
- adhd diagnosis
- Housemate might have feelings for me
- Why is religion against sex?
- University in Italy vs UK
- interveiw
- Wetherspoons job process??
- calling all grade 9 french students - speaking exam
- magda's work blog <3
- Didn't get the grades for medicine and I don't know what I should do now
- dentistry interview 2025
- University of targu mures' campus in hamburg
- How can I keep my mental health sane whilst living with my housemates?
- What do I say????
- Changing University to UCL, How to SFE?
- I messed up my CGPA/GPA.
- Oxford rejection cope
- A Level and Level 3 Diploma
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 month ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 1 month ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 1 month ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
