Edmund: This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you got a moment, it's a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpetting throughout, 24-hour portrage, and an enormous sign on the roof, saying `This Is a Large Crisis'. A large crisis requires a large plan. Get me two pencils and a pair of underpants.
(Later, Edmund wears underpants on his head with two pencils up his nose)
Edmund: Right, Baldrick, this is an old trick I picked up in the Sudan. We tell HQ that I've gone insane, and I'll be invalided back to Blighty before you can say "Wooble" -- a poor (gormless?) idiot.
Baldrick: But I'm a poor gormless idiot, sir, and I've never been invalided back to Blighty.
Edmund: Yes, Baldrick, but you never said "Wooble." Now, ask me some simple questions.
Baldrick: Right. What is your name?
Edmund: Wooble...
Baldrick: What is two plus two?
Edmund: Oh, wooble wooble.
Baldrick: Where do you live?
Edmund: London.
Baldrick: Eh?
Edmund: A small village on Mars, just outside the capital city, Wooble.