The Student Room Group

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Reply 1
Edmund: This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you got a moment, it's a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpetting throughout, 24-hour portrage, and an enormous sign on the roof, saying `This Is a Large Crisis'. A large crisis requires a large plan. Get me two pencils and a pair of underpants.

(Later, Edmund wears underpants on his head with two pencils up his nose)

Edmund: Right, Baldrick, this is an old trick I picked up in the Sudan. We tell HQ that I've gone insane, and I'll be invalided back to Blighty before you can say "Wooble" -- a poor (gormless?) idiot.

Baldrick: But I'm a poor gormless idiot, sir, and I've never been invalided back to Blighty.

Edmund: Yes, Baldrick, but you never said "Wooble." Now, ask me some simple questions.

Baldrick: Right. What is your name?

Edmund: Wooble...

Baldrick: What is two plus two?

Edmund: Oh, wooble wooble.

Baldrick: Where do you live?

Edmund: London.

Baldrick: Eh?

Edmund: A small village on Mars, just outside the capital city, Wooble.
Reply 2
An incredulous Blackadder when confronted by Dr. Johnsons 'absolute cowpat of a book', the long-awaited 'dictionary':

Blackadder: So your saying your 'Dictionary' contains *every* word?

Dr. Johnson: Yes, every word!

Blackadder: Well in that case Doctor, let me extend my most enthusiastic, Contrafibularities.

Dr. Johnson: What?

Blackadder: Contrafibularities? It is a common word, down our way.

Dr. Johnson: Damn, Damn, (as struggles to write word into already rather full dictionary)

Blackadder: Oh I'm sorry, I am mimuspeptic, frasmotic, even compuntuous to have caused you such pericibobulation.

Dr. Johnson: (glares)

Prince of Wales: Um, yes, well you couldn't fetch some tea could you Blackadder?

Blackadder: Of course your Highness, I shall return; interfrastically.

Great stuff!
Reply 3
heh. i love the dictionary episode.

I would buy the box set, if it were cheaper :frown:
Reply 4
Dickie
heh. i love the dictionary episode.

I would buy the box set, if it were cheaper :frown:


The entire third series is great! (as are all the others)

The one with pitt the younger has to be one of the best:

Blackadder: Prime Minister, we have some lovely jelly in the pantry if you'd be interested...

Pitt the Younger (looks about 15): (indignant) Don't patronise me you lower middle class yobbo!

(pause)

Pitt the Younger: What flavour is it?

Class. Add your favourite bit!
Reply 5
Blackadder : Well go out into the street and hire me a horse!

Baldrick : Hire you a horse? For ninepence? On Jewish new year in the rain? A bare fortnight after the dreaded horse plague of old London town? With the Blacksmith's strike in its fifteenth week and the Dorset horse fetishists fair tomorrow?
Reply 6
Why oh why have they hacked down our brilliant thread before it got going by moving it here? (even if this is technically where it should be :smile: )

Help it to be all it can be by! Don't let it become the worst entertainment since st. john the evangalist toured palestine with his trompoline act.

Everybody post! you know you want to...
Reply 7
More quotes then!


Blackadder : Have you ever been to Wales Baldrick?

Baldrick : No, but I've often thought I'd like to.

Blackadder : Well don't, it's a ghastly place. Huge gangs of tough sinewy men roam the valleys terrorising people with their close-harmony singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to pronounce the placenames. Never ask for directions in Wales Baldrick, you'll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight.


It's so not true! :biggrin:
Reply 8
Blackadder rules :biggrin:
The first series used to be my least favorite, but now I've watched it a bit more, some of the episodes are just amazingly funny. Anyone else find it strange how in the first series Blackadder's a gimp and Baldrick was the cunning one, but since then it's always been the other way around..?
Reply 9
ManFromMars
Blackadder rules :biggrin:
The first series used to be my least favorite, but now I've watched it a bit more, some of the episodes are just amazingly funny. Anyone else find it strange how in the first series Blackadder's a gimp and Baldrick was the cunning one, but since then it's always been the other way around..?


aye, tis strange... :biggrin:

I like it in the last series, where baldrick recites his poem:

boom boom boom boom
boom boom boom boom
boom boom boom boom boom
boom boom boom boom

etc.
Reply 10
There is so much poetry, also this one:

When the night is dark,
And the dogs go 'bark';
When the clouds are black,
And the ducks go 'quack';
When the sky is blue,
And the cows go 'mooo';
Think of lovely Queenie,
She'll be thinking of you.
alocin
There is so much poetry, also this one:

When the night is dark,
And the dogs go 'bark';
When the clouds are black,
And the ducks go 'quack';
When the sky is blue,
And the cows go 'mooo';
Think of lovely Queenie,
She'll be thinking of you.


Great stuff, the encounter between Blackadder and 'Captain Redbeard Rum' (up the old seadog) in the same episode is a classic as well:

Blackadder: Excellent, so can we shake on it?

Rum: AHHH, you have a womans hands milord! I bet that those dainty pinkies have never weighed anchor in a storm? Why should I let a stupid cockerel like you aboard me boat?

Blackadder: Perhaps for the money in my purse?

Rum: AHHHHH, you have a womans purse milord! I'd wager that that purse has never been used as a lifeboat, with 16 shipwrecked mariners tossing in it!

Blackadder: Its uncanny I don't know how you do it but your right again, I see when it comes to tales of courage I'm going to have to keep my mouth shut.

Rum: AHHHHHHHH, you have a womans mouth milord! I'd bet that mouth has never has to chew through the side of a ship to escape the 'dreadful spindly killer fish'.

Blackadder: Yes well, I'd had no idea I was going to have to eat your ship as well as hire it, so I bid you farewell.

Rum: You're nothing but a lapdog to a slip of a girl!

Blackadder: Better a lapdog to a slip of a girl than a.....git.

The second series was what made Blackadder legendary, the first one was quite funny but they changed the writers for the second (through fourth) one, reversing blackadder and baldricks roles - much for the better!
Reply 12
I love Blackadder so much! I got the entire DVD set for christmas, muahaha! I did have the script book but my sister "borrowed" it so now it's in Exeter :rolleyes:

There is this site though, and it has transcripts of them all:

http://www.gazmac.freeserve.co.uk/blackadderfront.htm

Baldrick: What, have you got a plan, My Lord?

Edmund: Yes I have, and it's so cunning you could brush your teeth with it! All I need is some feathers, a dress, some oil, an easel, some sleeping draught, lots of paper, a prostitute and the best portrait painter in England.
Reply 13
ManFromMars
Blackadder rules :biggrin:
The first series used to be my least favorite, but now I've watched it a bit more, some of the episodes are just amazingly funny. Anyone else find it strange how in the first series Blackadder's a gimp and Baldrick was the cunning one, but since then it's always been the other way around..?


Yeah, after the first series, they discovered that it would be funnier if Blackadder was the cunning (as a fox) one and Baldrick, the idiot. Wise move. Personally, I like the second series with Queenie...especially the one with the turnip...LOL.
Didn't the last one episode in 'Blackadder Goes Forth', make neone else wanna cry?

JoKing.

p.s. Did anyone else see that spin-off when Blackadder through Time or something...? Where he had the time-machine?
JoKing
Yeah, after the first series, they discovered that it would be funnier if Blackadder was the cunning (as a fox) one and Baldrick, the idiot. Wise move. Personally, I like the second series with Queenie...especially the one with the turnip...LOL.
Didn't the last one episode in 'Blackadder Goes Forth', make neone else wanna cry?

JoKing.

p.s. Did anyone else see that spin-off when Blackadder through Time or something...? Where he had the time-machine?


What do you mean joking............

I think the time-machine episode (Blackadder back and forth) was made specifically for the milennium-thing in London (showed in the milennium dome). In my opinion it wasn't very good, but it did (in the best tradition of British tv) have some excellent actors in minor roles (Colin Firth making a memorable William "the-man-who-invented-the-ballpoint-pen" Shakespeare).
Reply 15
oldthrashbarg
What do you mean joking............


It's his/her name - s/he was signing off :wink:

I think most people didn't particularly like Blackadder Back and Forth, but watched because it was nostalgic and, like oldthrashbarg said, had some good actors in. I especially like the transition of the Lockhart role to Robin Hood - Rik Mayall is so funny :biggrin:
Reply 16
Baldrick's song about war:

"Hear the words I sing,
War is a terrible thing
So I sing, sing, sing
Ding-a-ling-a-ling"
Reply 17
Blackadder: "Baldrick, how did you manage to find a turnip that cost £400,000 ?"

Baldrick: "Well, I had to haggle."
On the cause of World War One:

Baldrick: I heard it started cause some bloke called archie duke shot an ostrich cause he was hungry

Blackadder: I think you mean it started when the archduke of Austria-Hungary got shot

Baldrick: Nooo, there was definitely an ostrich involved.
Reply 19
lol!

"two spikes would be an extravigance(sp?)"