sneakbo2
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Could you please give me tips on how to imporve my comparison of poems and roughly what grade would this be?

Compare how power is shown in ozymandias and one other poem from the character and voice section

The poems “Ozymandias” by Percy Shelley and “My Last Duchess” by Robert Browning are very different. However they do have something in common – both poems are representations of ones power. “Ozymandias” represents power as poem shows that human life is insignificant compared to the passing of time, even for egotistical kings such as Ozymandias, time is very powerful. “My Last Duchess” represents power through the narrative technique, which makes it seem as if the Duke is speaking directly to an audience, powerful as it captures the reader.

Shelley's poem "Ozymandias" is about a ruined statue of a powerful ruler who once controlled an ancient kingdom. Browning depicts that Ozymandias was a very harsh ruler - this is shown by the quote, “His sneer of cold command”, his “sneer” shows that Ozymandias somewhat abused his power because he was cruel leader; this leads the reader on to think that King Ozymandias was most liely a dictator in his ancient kingdom. “Cold command” is an example of harsh alliteration, the strong repetition of the letter ‘c’ at the start of both words once again gives a representation of power, “command” also represents the dictatorship of pharaos kingdom and the use of the word “cold” may show that by being a dictator and abusing power this can reveal that the pharaoh may have been lonely. Shelley also uses alliteration when mentioning the “boundless and bare” desert, it emphasises the emptyness of the desert, which has survived far longer than the statue which is now lifeless. “bare” and Ozymandias has nothing left after he died because his statue has collapsed. Which may represent all of the influence he had has collapsed. The rhythm of iambic pentameter also represents a heartbeat perhaps ironic as his life has already ended at this point.

In contrast, “My Last Duchess” is about a duke of Ferrara who is also very powerful. We see this by the fact that he refers to his surname as “a nine-hundred-years-old name”. This shows that his family ancestry has been one of importance for many hundreds of years. This also suggests to the reader that his name would have been known throughout Italy, predominantly in Ferrara due to the fact that his surname is still significant nine hundred years later. The Duke seems to be extremely proud of his name to even know that his name has been one of power for all of these centuries.

Ozymandias is written in Iambic Penameter and contains enjambment. This Iambic Pentameter accompanied with the enjambment is the closest thing to narrating a story in poetry. By almost narrating a story, the poem gives us an insight in to the Egyptian king’s life due to the fact that there are no stanzas, its just an account of the pharaohs life. Enjambment is presented when Shelley writes, “nothing beside remains. Round the decay of that colossal wreck”, this shows that after Ozymandias’ rule and all of the achievements he made, time was even more powerful than the king and everything is gone and decaying. It is a form of irony because even a powerful king cannot control the damaging effects of time.

Browning’s poem, “My Last Duchess” is also written in iambic pentameter. This shows that the poem is also almost a story about the Duke’s life and problems with his Duchess. The poem is a dramatic monologue, the speaker is clearly distinct from the poet and this gives the reader the impression that a poet hasn’t written this, rather this is a direct account transcripted of the duke himself speaking. This creates the sense of an audience being present, even though there isnt one. The fact that the reader can feel that the duke is speaking directly to them makes what he says seem even more powerful, this clever use of a dramatic monologue by Browning evidently creates a sense of power.

“Ozymandias” is a sonnet, a fourteen-line poem metered in iambic pentameter. The rhyme scheme is unusual for a sonnet of this era; it does not fit a conventional Petrarchan pattern, this suggests that things are out of place. Ozymandias’ rule is no longer and time has distorted all of his achievements and power he used to have. This gives evidence that the power the king once had has all been changed, due to the power of time which overshadowed the Ozymandias’ power.
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LilMonster
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First sentence lolol, capitalize the first letter of "Ozymandias"
Your opening sentence is so boring and bland, change it.
"which makes it seem as if the Duke is speaking directly to an audience, powerful as it captures the reader." -reword that sentence.

just say "harsh ruler" on the second paragraph
change "sneer" to 'sneer' - that whole line have too many '''''''''''''' in them
"King Ozymandias was most liely a dictator in his ancient kingdom" -seriously, that get's highlighted by spellcheckers when you write it...
bare” and Ozymandias has nothing left - seriously, the sentence before that ended with a dot, therefore even if you're going to put it in quotation marks, you capitalise it first.

Ozymandias is written in Iambic Penameter - was

-oh I got too bored to even continue
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sneakbo2
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Theres a lot of errors from when i copied and pasted it, i'll read over it next time lol.
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AbathaZoe
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I wouldn't say 'ones', it sounds far too pretentious, especially when you forget the apostrophe too. >.<
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HeavyTeddy
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For GCSE standard this is good. You discuss the techniques used in Shelley's Ozymandias frequently and well, but I feel that the analysis for My Last Duchess suffers a little bit. I think I would've perhaps mentioned the reference to Neptune in My Last Duchess by adding context on Roman mythology and how it links with the theme you're discussing. Also, you are not comparing by talking about one poem and then the other. Your comparison has to be directly linked and woven throughout your writing for it to answer the question properly. Though, these are just points to better your comparative writing in the future; for GCSE the above should suffice.
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sneakbo2
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(Original post by HeavyTeddy)
For GCSE standard this is good. You discuss the techniques used in Shelley's Ozymandias frequently and well, but I feel that the analysis for My Last Duchess suffers a little bit. I think I would've perhaps mentioned the reference to Neptune in My Last Duchess by adding context on Roman mythology and how it links with the theme you're discussing. Also, you are not comparing by talking about one poem and then the other. Your comparison has to be directly linked and woven throughout your writing for it to answer the question properly. Though, these are just points to better your comparative writing in the future; for GCSE the above should suffice.
By "good" do you mean A/A*?
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HeavyTeddy
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(Original post by sneakbo2)
By "good" do you mean A/A*?
I'd think so.
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Hal.E.Lujah
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It's probably touching top band for GCSE. To really tune it up, add alot more weight to the section on the last duchess language. Also, you really consider the implications for the reader on Shelly's poem, but not for Browning. A really key understanding of Browning is how his style allows him to consider ideas which were unacceptable for discourse in Shelly's time.

Try to touch up grammar and wording, would be a shame to lose marks on that.

Also, please re-do the introduction. As I think you've discovered, the poems are extremely similar; Browning was directly inspired by Shelly.
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aliyam
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Really good essay! To improve i think you should structure your answer better, talk more about techniques such as imagery & sound etc.
Just how i have been taught by my teacher
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leafy.green
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(Original post by LilMonster)
First sentence lolol, capitalize the first letter of "Ozymandias"
Your opening sentence is so boring and bland, change it.
"which makes it seem as if the Duke is speaking directly to an audience, powerful as it captures the reader." -reword that sentence.

just say "harsh ruler" on the second paragraph
change "sneer" to 'sneer' - that whole line have too many '''''''''''''' in them
"King Ozymandias was most liely a dictator in his ancient kingdom" -seriously, that get's highlighted by spellcheckers when you write it...
bare” and Ozymandias has nothing left - seriously, the sentence before that ended with a dot, therefore even if you're going to put it in quotation marks, you capitalise it first.

Ozymandias is written in Iambic Penameter - was

-oh I got too bored to even continue

it's actually gets not get's please check yourself before you criticise people
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lwaxanna
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The first two sentences are nonsense. Remove them. There is no point telling the examiner what the question is - they know; they set it.

There is no real argument. You have focused on techniques without first establishing what you mean by "power" and how it is represented. Power means dominion or authority over another. Your first point of comparison should be "what is happening" in each poem. A possible opening link on subject matter is on the one hand you have power represented by a huge, but ruined, statue of a King in a desert, on the other a man who kills his wife. Both exercise power - and both show that power corrupts (maybe) - both subjects are cold and heartless in the execution of that power. That is the kind of argument you need.

You can't compare "subject matter" with "technique" - your links/connections need to be of a similar nature. You have compared the subject matter of Ozymandias with the technique of a dramatic monologue. You could have compared the technique of sonnet form with a dramatic monologue, or the subject matter - but not mixed them up.

Then - you can go on and illustrate your argument, choosing quotations which you then discuss in terms of techniques. There is no point bandying about terms like "iambic pentameter" or "enjambment" without showing how they have been used to "shape meaning". Why has the enjambment been used? And there is no connection between iambic pentameter, enjambment and "telling a story". it is a sonnet.

There is a lot of half-understood stuff here picked up from notes without real understanding. I would give it a C at best.

(Original post by sneakbo2)
Could you please give me tips on how to imporve my comparison of poems and roughly what grade would this be?

Compare how power is shown in ozymandias and one other poem from the character and voice section
The poems “Ozymandias” by Percy Shelley and “My Last Duchess” by Robert Browning are very different. However they do have something in common – both poems are representations of ones power. “Ozymandias” represents power as poem shows that human life is insignificant compared to the passing of time, even for egotistical kings such as Ozymandias, time is very powerful. “My Last Duchess” represents power through the narrative technique, which makes it seem as if the Duke is speaking directly to an audience, powerful as it captures the reader.

Shelley's poem "Ozymandias" is about a ruined statue of a powerful ruler who once controlled an ancient kingdom. Browning depicts that Ozymandias was a very harsh ruler - this is shown by the quote, “His sneer of cold command”, his “sneer” shows that Ozymandias somewhat abused his power because he was cruel leader; this leads the reader on to think that King Ozymandias was most liely a dictator in his ancient kingdom. “Cold command” is an example of harsh alliteration, the strong repetition of the letter ‘c’ at the start of both words once again gives a representation of power, “command” also represents the dictatorship of pharaos kingdom and the use of the word “cold” may show that by being a dictator and abusing power this can reveal that the pharaoh may have been lonely. Shelley also uses alliteration when mentioning the “boundless and bare” desert, it emphasises the emptyness of the desert, which has survived far longer than the statue which is now lifeless. “bare” and Ozymandias has nothing left after he died because his statue has collapsed. Which may represent all of the influence he had has collapsed. The rhythm of iambic pentameter also represents a heartbeat perhaps ironic as his life has already ended at this point.

In contrast, “My Last Duchess” is about a duke of Ferrara who is also very powerful. We see this by the fact that he refers to his surname as “a nine-hundred-years-old name”. This shows that his family ancestry has been one of importance for many hundreds of years. This also suggests to the reader that his name would have been known throughout Italy, predominantly in Ferrara due to the fact that his surname is still significant nine hundred years later. The Duke seems to be extremely proud of his name to even know that his name has been one of power for all of these centuries.

Ozymandias is written in Iambic Penameter and contains enjambment. This Iambic Pentameter accompanied with the enjambment is the closest thing to narrating a story in poetry. By almost narrating a story, the poem gives us an insight in to the Egyptian king’s life due to the fact that there are no stanzas, its just an account of the pharaohs life. Enjambment is presented when Shelley writes, “nothing beside remains. Round the decay of that colossal wreck”, this shows that after Ozymandias’ rule and all of the achievements he made, time was even more powerful than the king and everything is gone and decaying. It is a form of irony because even a powerful king cannot control the damaging effects of time.

Browning’s poem, “My Last Duchess” is also written in iambic pentameter. This shows that the poem is also almost a story about the Duke’s life and problems with his Duchess. The poem is a dramatic monologue, the speaker is clearly distinct from the poet and this gives the reader the impression that a poet hasn’t written this, rather this is a direct account transcripted of the duke himself speaking. This creates the sense of an audience being present, even though there isnt one. The fact that the reader can feel that the duke is speaking directly to them makes what he says seem even more powerful, this clever use of a dramatic monologue by Browning evidently creates a sense of power.

“Ozymandias” is a sonnet, a fourteen-line poem metered in iambic pentameter. The rhyme scheme is unusual for a sonnet of this era; it does not fit a conventional Petrarchan pattern, this suggests that things are out of place. Ozymandias’ rule is no longer and time has distorted all of his achievements and power he used to have. This gives evidence that the power the king once had has all been changed, due to the power of time which overshadowed the Ozymandias’ power.
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Connor27
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(Original post by sneakbo2)
Could you please give me tips on how to imporve my comparison of poems and roughly what grade would this be?

Compare how power is shown in ozymandias and one other poem from the character and voice section
The poems “Ozymandias” by Percy Shelley and “My Last Duchess” by Robert Browning are very different. However they do have something in common – both poems are representations of ones power. “Ozymandias” represents power as poem shows that human life is insignificant compared to the passing of time, even for egotistical kings such as Ozymandias, time is very powerful. “My Last Duchess” represents power through the narrative technique, which makes it seem as if the Duke is speaking directly to an audience, powerful as it captures the reader.

Shelley's poem "Ozymandias" is about a ruined statue of a powerful ruler who once controlled an ancient kingdom. Browning depicts that Ozymandias was a very harsh ruler - this is shown by the quote, “His sneer of cold command”, his “sneer” shows that Ozymandias somewhat abused his power because he was cruel leader; this leads the reader on to think that King Ozymandias was most liely a dictator in his ancient kingdom. “Cold command” is an example of harsh alliteration, the strong repetition of the letter ‘c’ at the start of both words once again gives a representation of power, “command” also represents the dictatorship of pharaos kingdom and the use of the word “cold” may show that by being a dictator and abusing power this can reveal that the pharaoh may have been lonely. Shelley also uses alliteration when mentioning the “boundless and bare” desert, it emphasises the emptyness of the desert, which has survived far longer than the statue which is now lifeless. “bare” and Ozymandias has nothing left after he died because his statue has collapsed. Which may represent all of the influence he had has collapsed. The rhythm of iambic pentameter also represents a heartbeat perhaps ironic as his life has already ended at this point.

In contrast, “My Last Duchess” is about a duke of Ferrara who is also very powerful. We see this by the fact that he refers to his surname as “a nine-hundred-years-old name”. This shows that his family ancestry has been one of importance for many hundreds of years. This also suggests to the reader that his name would have been known throughout Italy, predominantly in Ferrara due to the fact that his surname is still significant nine hundred years later. The Duke seems to be extremely proud of his name to even know that his name has been one of power for all of these centuries.

Ozymandias is written in Iambic Penameter and contains enjambment. This Iambic Pentameter accompanied with the enjambment is the closest thing to narrating a story in poetry. By almost narrating a story, the poem gives us an insight in to the Egyptian king’s life due to the fact that there are no stanzas, its just an account of the pharaohs life. Enjambment is presented when Shelley writes, “nothing beside remains. Round the decay of that colossal wreck”, this shows that after Ozymandias’ rule and all of the achievements he made, time was even more powerful than the king and everything is gone and decaying. It is a form of irony because even a powerful king cannot control the damaging effects of time.

Browning’s poem, “My Last Duchess” is also written in iambic pentameter. This shows that the poem is also almost a story about the Duke’s life and problems with his Duchess. The poem is a dramatic monologue, the speaker is clearly distinct from the poet and this gives the reader the impression that a poet hasn’t written this, rather this is a direct account transcripted of the duke himself speaking. This creates the sense of an audience being present, even though there isnt one. The fact that the reader can feel that the duke is speaking directly to them makes what he says seem even more powerful, this clever use of a dramatic monologue by Browning evidently creates a sense of power.

“Ozymandias” is a sonnet, a fourteen-line poem metered in iambic pentameter. The rhyme scheme is unusual for a sonnet of this era; it does not fit a conventional Petrarchan pattern, this suggests that things are out of place. Ozymandias’ rule is no longer and time has distorted all of his achievements and power he used to have. This gives evidence that the power the king once had has all been changed, due to the power of time which overshadowed the Ozymandias’ power.
It's very good and probably top band for GCSE as others have said, however with relation to Browning there is an additional context point that you haven't mentioned that I feel is very appropriate for "Duchess":

Browning's wife, Elisabeth Barratt Browning (who was also a poet), was repulsed by Victorian men and their misogyny and attitude to women, in this way the duke of Ferrara is very much the stereotypical Victorian man, he is obsessed with appearances and is vain and superficial. She actually feigned mental illness to avoid being married; until she met a kindred spirit in Robert Browning and they married. I think his wife's influence is apparent here and, although it is set in the Italian renaissance, it is a commentary on the repulsive of attitudes towards women of many Victorian men.

With regard to iambic pentameter; it is good that you're aware of it as it isn't really necessary until A-Level. But as the previous poster mentioned, it needs to be qualified properly, your analysis of it is basically waffle and will get you no extra marks. The key thing about Iambic Pentameter is that it is the rhythm of a heartbeat and is used to represent conventional ideas in literature (hence why it's the most common syllabic structure); for example in MLD Browning uses it because, (to develop the earlier point I made), misogyny and sexism were commonplace in the Victorian era and such thoughts like considering women as property and the idea of "trophy wives" were fairly common and conventional, the use of iambic pentameter supports this.

I'm doing the poetry of Christina Rossetti and "A Doll's House" by Ibsen in my A-Level atm, so I've been inundated with Victorian gender politics this term ;p also did Browning ("Duchess" as well as "Porphyria's Lover" for my GCSE CA in comparison with "Macbeth" and got full marks.)
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sneakbo2
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(Original post by lwaxanna)
The first two sentences are nonsense. Remove them. There is no point telling the examiner what the question is - they know; they set it.

There is no real argument. You have focused on techniques without first establishing what you mean by "power" and how it is represented. Power means dominion or authority over another. Your first point of comparison should be "what is happening" in each poem. A possible opening link on subject matter is on the one hand you have power represented by a huge, but ruined, statue of a King in a desert, on the other a man who kills his wife. Both exercise power - and both show that power corrupts (maybe) - both subjects are cold and heartless in the execution of that power. That is the kind of argument you need.

You can't compare "subject matter" with "technique" - your links/connections need to be of a similar nature. You have compared the subject matter of Ozymandias with the technique of a dramatic monologue. You could have compared the technique of sonnet form with a dramatic monologue, or the subject matter - but not mixed them up.

Then - you can go on and illustrate your argument, choosing quotations which you then discuss in terms of techniques. There is no point bandying about terms like "iambic pentameter" or "enjambment" without showing how they have been used to "shape meaning". Why has the enjambment been used? And there is no connection between iambic pentameter, enjambment and "telling a story". it is a sonnet.

There is a lot of half-understood stuff here picked up from notes without real understanding. I would give it a C at best.
Mate, This was 4 years ago loooool I am now a 2nd year student at Warwick University. Why the hell are you critiquing my GCSE English essay from nearly 5 years ago. FYI I got an A anyway so I don't need your input
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sneakbo2
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(Original post by Connor27)
It's very good and probably top band for GCSE as others have said, however with relation to Browning there is an additional context point that you haven't mentioned that I feel is very appropriate for "Duchess":

Browning's wife, Elisabeth Barratt Browning (who was also a poet), was repulsed by Victorian men and their misogyny and attitude to women, in this way the duke of Ferrara is very much the stereotypical Victorian man, he is obsessed with appearances and is vain and superficial. She actually feigned mental illness to avoid being married; until she met a kindred spirit in Robert Browning and they married. I think his wife's influence is apparent here and, although it is set in the Italian renaissance, it is a commentary on the repulsive of attitudes towards women of many Victorian men.

With regard to iambic pentameter; it is good that you're aware of it as it isn't really necessary until A-Level. But as the previous poster mentioned, it needs to be qualified properly, your analysis of it is basically waffle and will get you no extra marks. The key thing about Iambic Pentameter is that it is the rhythm of a heartbeat and is used to represent conventional ideas in literature (hence why it's the most common syllabic structure); for example in MLD Browning uses it because, (to develop the earlier point I made), misogyny and sexism were commonplace in the Victorian era and such thoughts like considering women as property and the idea of "trophy wives" were fairly common and conventional, the use of iambic pentameter supports this.

I'm doing the poetry of Christina Rossetti and "A Doll's House" by Ibsen in my A-Level atm, so I've been inundated with Victorian gender politics this term ;p also did Browning ("Duchess" as well as "Porphyria's Lover" for my GCSE CA in comparison with "Macbeth" and got full marks.)
As I said above, this post was 4 years ago. While I appreciate the advice, i'm in University now lol
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Connor27
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(Original post by sneakbo2)
As I said above, this post was 4 years ago. While I appreciate the advice, i'm in University now lol
No probs, saw it on recently updated and forgot to check the date ;p

What are you studying at Warwick? I'm thinking of putting it on my UCAS form for Philosophy, Politics and Economics.
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Gold2759
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Lmao (:
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Freckles108
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(Original post by AbathaZoe)
I wouldn't say 'ones', it sounds far too pretentious, especially when you forget the apostrophe too. >.<
It's English you get marked on being pretentious
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plkmjn
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compare Ozymandias with Tissue
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Mia.hewittt
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Literally this is perfect i can just copy it for my assessment, thanks
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Saz131
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Do I have to sum up what happens in each poem or can u get ways with just analysing?
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