obsessed with my ex

Thanks for the reply!

Yeah, you're very close to the truth... we were close friends before this. Haha, I'd have to clear away a lot of stuff in my room to get rid of everything that reminds me of him - plus going cold turkey won't actually work I'm afraid.

We live in the same house for one... then there's the fact that we have the same friends and do the same course at uni together, hell we even work at the same place to earn some extra money to pay for uni.

Over the holidays I didn't see him for a while and things were a lot better, I didn't think of him much, but now I see him all the time again, it's not as easy.

Maybe going cold turkey during the summer holidays will work... might be enough time to get him out of my mind?

Think is, I don't want to (well, and can't) break off all contact with him. I just want things to be like they were before, argh.

hiya im posting anon incase someone sees this that knows me cos its quite embarrassing. But yeh i have been in the same situation as you and its really horrible. I found myself going to parties and getting with other guys right in front of him to try and make him jealous...I always made a huge effort with my appearance if i knew i was going to see him that day (at school for instance) and i lost weight to look even better. I dont even know why i did it because i didnt want him back, not really. i did think about getting back with him on many occasions because i missed him a lot, and what we had. but it could never have been the same and i felt he didnt treat me right anyway. i often think i could do with a new guy to get over him entirely, although i think i pretty much am over him now. it wasnt the best way to do things but i ended up spending a night with him where he told me how hard he'd found it to look at me and not touch me etc and instead of feeling like, lets get back together, i was just like..oh it worked then...but felt nothing. im not saying you should spend the night with him again because it does mess up your head a lot and ply with your emotions, but u have to put things into perspective here. you and him brke up for a reason. you have a history which u wont forget easily, but you have a future with this new guy. dont ruin things with the new guy because of what happened in the past. you will eventually get over your ex. it took me nearly a year, but i finally managed it and i know you can too.

Bloody hell! thats almost exactly what its like for me now! Same uni, Same course, same group of friends and used to be best friends....

But whats worst for you is that you actually live in the same house as him. As you said, maybe the summer holidays will do you some real good as you'll be occupied by other things like hanging out with your mates back home, family time etc etc

I'm currently on placement and hes back in uni so this time apart actually helped me as it allowed me to go cold turkey. Erased him off my mobile, blocked him off MSN etc etc. It will be really hard for you to go cold turkey since you live with him!must be really hard to face him everyday...

And yes, there are times when i THINK that i want to erase him out of my life....but a tiny piece of me want to cling on...hoping that with time, things will be back the same as before.

I'm in a similar position, although im not as obsessed as i was when we first split up. Anyway I'd class him as one of my best friends, we have the same friends, go to the same uni and do the same course. I know that he didnt treat me right when we were together, but it seems as if im blind to that, and still want to be with him. Going cold turkey over easter has helped however i cant bear to block him on MSN or delete his number. It doesn't help us both being really flirty with each other, as it's making me think something could happen, when in reality it wont. Although for you its harder to distance yourself, but i agree with thinking about all his faults and things.

I always made a huge effort with my appearance if i knew i was going to see him that day (at school for instance) and i lost weight to look even better. I dont even know why i did it because i didnt want him back, not really. i did think about getting back with him on many occasions because i missed him a lot, and what we had. but it could never have been the same and i felt he didnt treat me right anyway. i often think i could do with a new guy to get over him entirely, although i think i pretty much am over him now.

you will eventually get over your ex. it took me nearly a year, but i finally managed it and i know you can too.

Yeah i was just thinking about the situation when i saw the post, it's wierd how situations can be so similar. It all just takes time, wierd how the new man situation is similar too. I suppose as you're ex doesnt have a new gf he still remains attainable, perhaps that's why you're trying to fix him up? If he had a gf he'd be unobtainable and then you might not think about him as much in the same way?

Just be happy that you have a new guy. Forget about this ex of yours, he should stay an ex. Please don't ever cheat on your now boyfirend with your ex, that will destroy your relationship with your now boyfirend.

I was with my ex ex (lol, as in 2 bfs ago!) and we were only together 4 months, with no mention of the word love, although we were together for the summer and it was amazing. we used to be a right pair of grungers, and spent our time listening to Nirvana and giving each other casette mix tapes. Ah, the good old days! Anyways, he broke up with me because...well, I still don't know, but anyway, i was gutted. Did solvents for the first and only time (pretty stupid, but I was gutted). Anyways, i got all infatuated with him, and every time I heard his name my stomach was doing these flips, you know how it is, all very messed up, and then, after 2 months of agony, I met my ex. As soon as I met him, I got over my ex ex and was happy again. however, after a month with my ex, my ex ex suddenly fell in love with me and began writing me all these letters and telling me how he's only just realised how amazing I was. He was writing all these songs about me and acting exactly how my ideal guy would, but I just didn't feel that way for him anymore. Eventually, even though I was a really good friend to him, it started to destroy him. He began self harming himself, really mutilating himself,a nd became an alcoholic. I saw him 2 days ago, on my coach home from school, and he was staggering along the pavement, people were staring at him and he could barely walk. And I partially blame myself, because his dad (who I got on with) told me that, since splitting with me (not entirely true, more since I got a new bf), he had been on a self-destruct mission. ANYWAY, what I'm saying is this: obsession happens to most people at some point. It happened to me and I got over it. It happened to my ex and, 2 years later, he is a dead man walking. Do everything you can to get over this obsession, or it could destroy you. Sorry to sound so depressing, but you really must do everything you can. This is going to sound quite contraversial, but I think you should stay with the guy you're with at the moment. Even if you don't feel for him the same way you did for your ex, at best you could fall for him, and at worst, at least he is taking your mind of your ex, even if it is for a short time. hope it all works out. xxx