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    I got sent this, this morning and thought it was funny. I hope it brightens up your day too!


    From: Bin Laden, Osama
    Sent: 02 December 2003 03:10
    To: All Al Qaida Fighters (E-mail)
    Subject: The Cave
    Importance: High

    Hi guys.
    We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns.

    First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster... have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

    Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the sh*t out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the two fingers waggling thing behind my head. Thanks.

    Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

    Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the infidels' bat and ball games. Please do not chant Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

    Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SHAGS DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

    Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)

    Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them.
    First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

    Love you guys lots,
    Group Hug.
    Os.
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    ROFL i love that!

    gonna send it to my mates.....
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    (Original post by 4Ed)
    ROFL i love that!

    gonna send it to my mates.....
    How about this one - I think we can probably all relate to this:

    Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk:

    Indubitably
    Innovative
    Preliminary
    Proliferation
    Cinnamon

    Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk:

    Specifically
    British Constitution
    Passive-aggressive disorder
    Loquacious Transubstantiate

    Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You're Drunk:

    Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
    Nope, no more booze for me
    Sorry, but you're not really my type
    Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
    Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
 
 
 
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