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Bf and his mate.. tricky situation!

I have been going out with my bf for about 4 weeks now, and we've been friends for about 2 months before that. The thing is I am not that happy with my boyfriend. In the beginning I used to like my bf's mate, and he said he used to like me but we started arguing and stuff and I became closer to my bf and we ended up going out. The thing is ever since me and my bf have started going out me and the mate have been ever so closer and I've become closer to him than my bf and found I could talk to him about everything and that he would actually listen, unlike my bf.

I was joking about with him on msn one time.. and I said things like "Don't you want mee". It was a joke at first but in the end I ended up telling him that I like him. He thought I was joking @ first but then realised I was being serious and said we'll talk about it tomorrow. We talked about it the next day and he said he can't say whether he likes me or not when I am going out with his mate. He also said if i said i like you, would you leave him and go with me? I said "yes i would if that is what you wanted me to do". After this he said that he doesn't want to do anything because he doesn't want to hurt his mate and that he doesn't like the idea of a girl playing his mate, and that if i could leave my bf for him, then i could leave him for someone else when a better guy comes along. I told him that this wasn't true at all, i said I will be breaking up with him anyway even if it's not for you.

Yesterday we were talking about the same stuff, i said that me and you is never going to happen. He asked me how my bf would take it (me and his mate going out) and i said i don't know, probably not too well. He said yeah i dont think he would take it well either and I don't want to hurt him. I said that i dont want to hurt him either, which i dont but i explained that i can't help my feelings.

He also said to me, "if he is the 2nd guy you kissed, why does the fat lady sing?". <--- What does that mean :s-smilie:

I asked him to explain but he didn't. ????

Also he said to me that a film is coming out soon and he wants to see it. I said I do too. Then he said "will you go cinema with me to watch it." I blew it off by saying, "with the other friends too right?" and he was like errr duhhh.
I said oh ok, I thought you ment just me and you when you said "with me". Afterwards he said that me and you are good friends, can't we go alone to places? I said I don't know.. I guess. So here did he want to go cinema with just me or was he testing me?

We are all in the same college and usually hang around together, but i can't stand being next to both of them at the same time and now i find it really hard to look at my mates face. Sorry this is too long but please give me some advice and help me about the fat lady and the cinema thing.

Thanks.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Not a big deal actually.

Reply 2

Love_Hearts

9

doesnt seem that tricky to me to be honest. Its pretty obvious you would rather be with your boyfriends mate than him so the best thing you could do would be to end it with your boyfriend - your only kidding yourself by carrying it on with him and the longer you leave it the harder it will get.
as you havnt been together that long there may still be a chance with his friend and you to get together sometime in the future. good luck

Reply 3

rosetinted

2

Well to me it sounds like you enjoy the drama...oh and you should split with your boyfriend. He deserves someone who's 100% into him, not flitting back and forth between him and his mate whenever you have an argument. You said yourself you aren't that happy with him..so don't continue to be with him.

Reply 4

Né Stig

15

Whose feeling a little promiscuous then?

Poor sod. Hope he finds out exactly who you are, and flee's upon finding out.

Reply 5

strawberry

13

but urm...don't break up with your boyfriend and then immediately after, hook up with his mate. because doing that is gonna hurt a HELL lot more than if you broke up with him to date a stranger

Reply 6

sweetface.

strawberry

but urm...don't break up with your boyfriend and then immediately after, hook up with his mate. because doing that is gonna hurt a HELL lot more than if you broke up with him to date a stranger

Exactly, don't break up for you bf mate. Your bf's mate does not sound interested in you. So please don't give up on your relationship with your boyfirend.

Reply 7

Né Stig

15

I would. Leave him - find someone else that is as flirty as you. Your b/f deserves better.

Reply 8

sweetface.

walshie

I would. Leave him - find someone else that is as flirty as you. Your b/f deserves better.

Exactly, but don't leave for your bf's mate,that would be such a bad idea. Just find someone else other than your bf's mate. Just avoid contact with your bf's mate, that will help you get over him. Try to find someone else.

Reply 9

supernova2

11

Heres my advice. Leave your boyfriend before he gets more attached to you. Give it a month or 2, then go out with the other guy. Thats exactly what I did with my GF, stole her from my mate! but he didnt know she liked me and she just waited a month b4 we went out. Everythings fine now :smile:

Just dont do stuff alone with your friend that you like, dont make it obvious your splitting with him because of his mate....

Reply 10

sweetface.

supernova2

Heres my advice. Leave your boyfriend before he gets more attached to you. Give it a month or 2, then go out with the other guy. Thats exactly what I did with my GF, stole her from my mate! but he didnt know she liked me and she just waited a month b4 we went out. Everythings fine now :smile:

Just dont do stuff alone with your friend that you like, dont make it obvious your splitting with him because of his mate....

I agree, but she should not leave her bf for her firend. I mean thats just rude. From what her firend said, he sounds not that interested in her. He sounds like he whats to stay firends.

Reply 11

supernova2

11

He could just be saying that because he doesnt want to be disloyal to his mate. To be honest though, you should leave your boyfriend anyway, dont promise the other guy anything and just see how stuff goes, dont rush. Its obvious you and the guy your going out with dont click

Reply 12

sweetface.

It would still hurt her future ex boyfirend if she did start to go out with his firend.

Reply 13

Hayley_2k4

12

if I were you, I would leave my boyfriend before he got too attached to me. make it easier for all sides.

True^

Bro's before ho's!! If this guy steals you from his mate then he's scum, end of story.

threesome, solved

It is quite messy this, but do you really want to dump your boyfriend just because you want his mate, put it this way you cannot have the best of both worlds it does not work like that, surely first thing to do is try and make a go of it with your current boyfriend because usually when you start wanting his mate then things can't be right with your current boyfriend, try working out with him first.

But should you go with his mate, least dump your current boyfriend before making a move on his mate, either way though your boyfriend will be very hurt, does he really deserve this?

I mean first what is it that your not happy with your boyfriend he may not know at all, so perhaps have a talk with him, it works wonders

Reply 18

sweetface.

Carl1982

But should you go with his mate, least dump your current boyfriend before making a move on his mate, either way though your boyfriend will be very hurt, does he really deserve this?

I disagree, she would be getting herslef in the same stupid cycle. It's better if she found another guy away from these two. Then she will feel better.

Reply 19

username47781

20

Lyndzxx

I disagree, she would be getting herslef in the same stupid cycle. It's better if she found another guy away from these two. Then she will feel better.

Yeah actually you gotta good point, as you rightly put it her b/f his mates with the guy she fancies so yeah it will be the same thing all over again, shes better off dumping the guy shes not happy if she cant work it out and finding a completely new boyfriend.

Bf and his mate.. tricky situation!

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