Absolutley dreading it!!!!

I'll be starting Uni this year and I am absolutley dreading the idea of not being able to make any friends!

Throughout my whole school life I have not been able to keep solid friendships. Its mainly due to the fact that I've always longed for "cool" friends but ended up with "geeky" mates.

I just want tips on how to be open minded so that I can make as many friends. Btw Im a guy, if that help

Reply 1

Ting-Ting

Stop dreading! The more you dread, the more you beleive you won't be able to do it!
There'll be pleeeeeeeeenty of people there on teh same boat as you...desperately trying to make new friends! Its so easy makign new friends in teh 1st year! housemates, coursemates, random drunken encounters etc! :biggrin:

Reply 2

Love_Hearts

9

awwh mate seriously you are not alone about being nervous about going to university. like i said in another thread uni can allow you to make a fresh start and to reinvent yourself. you can leave the negative aspects of your past behind you and just enjoy your new found freedom.
the best thing to do is to approach your first day in uni with confidence. its such a scary process, dont get me wrong i cried my eyes out in my room after my parents left. but then i went out and made a huge effort to meet new people - some whom are now my closest friends. you will have no problems making new friends, everyone is in the same boat and i dont know of anyone who turns down the opportunity to make new friendships.
as for you always ending up with "geeky" friends - me too but the difference with me is that i can see beyond my friends academic excelence. hell yeah there clever but there also the coolest people i know

Reply 3

gideon2000uk

9

University is about being yourself. If you are yourself you'll have nothing to worry about. Join some societies and persue your interests.

Reply 4

puppy

Maybe drop the attitude towards 'geeks'. If you try and make friends with certain types of people then you'll never find the people that you ought to be friends with. Just stay open minded, socialise as much as possible and give everyone a chance. You might end up with an odd collection of friends but at least they'll be people you really get on with.

Reply 5

sweetface.

Remember when your talking to new people always have a smile on your face. This makes a very good impression.

Reply 6

Happy1

14

We're all scared, just remember to smile and force yourself to go and say hi. There will be a hell of a lot of people on their own on the first day... you have to force yourself to go over and talk to them. You have nothing to lose!

Reply 7

Louher

Uni's great for meeting people. It's the first time you can meet people and be the person YOU want to be. You go not knowing anyone, like everyone else so don't worry. You'll be fine.

Reply 8

Oddity

1

I'll be ur friend! :hugs:

Reply 9

chamelean75

I haven't had much luck making friends through out my life but university really changed that. I found that it was really easy to make friends because during your first year there, everyone is going through the making friends thing so everyone is really nice. I don't think you'll have a problem. Don't worry about it. Now I have loads of friends from uni. I graduated last winter time and I still keep up with those same friends. Don't worry, even if you don't want to make friends, people still come up to you for some light chit chat. :biggrin:

Reply 10

SeanC

1

Just curious but has anyone wondered if it'll be more difficult to meet new people on a fairly unpopular course while staing in private accomodation? Hadn't thought of it by now but the course I'm planning on taking is a fairly low student one, and as I wont be in dorms at all it could make things complicated.. Doubt it'll affect me too much considering I'll talk to pretty much anyone and have a few friends going to same uni, but there must be people in that sort of situation... do people join clubs/ go out on freshers to meet people?

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Im so looking forward to uni! Ive got another year of school however, but at school I just cant be myself. Thers always that underlying social heirachy, with cool people at the top and 'geeks' at the bottom. Ive had to adapt to my school so much to be considered a 'popular guy' but it really isnt me (not at this school anyway). Its a private school, and before I went here I went to state school where i got on with the people much better whilst just being me. Im just here to get the grades for uni. I wanna have the best choice of uni, because its goin to be the best years of my life, so I wouldnt dread it man.

BE YOURSELF THOUGH.

Reply 12

glisten

1

Don't worry about making friends at uni. Uni's the easiest place to make friends, believe me. If you are in halls its very easy. I live with most of my friends even though I've got some I've met on my course. I was scared of not making friends before I started uni by the way.

Reply 13

puppy

Anonymous

Im so looking forward to uni! Ive got another year of school however, but at school I just cant be myself. Thers always that underlying social heirachy, with cool people at the top and 'geeks' at the bottom. Ive had to adapt to my school so much to be considered a 'popular guy' but it really isnt me (not at this school anyway). Its a private school, and before I went here I went to state school where i got on with the people much better whilst just being me. Im just here to get the grades for uni. I wanna have the best choice of uni, because its goin to be the best years of my life, so I wouldnt dread it man.

BE YOURSELF THOUGH.

Uni is no different in that respect. I've changed myself for uni more than I ever did for school.

Reply 14

shyr_15

Anonymous

I'll be starting Uni this year and I am absolutley dreading the idea of not being able to make any friends!

Throughout my whole school life I have not been able to keep solid friendships. Its mainly due to the fact that I've always longed for "cool" friends but ended up with "geeky" mates.

I just want tips on how to be open minded so that I can make as many friends. Btw Im a guy, if that help

good and true friends doesn't have to be cool. my advise would be---don't stereotype. be naturally friendly. smile a lot. your being friendly would eventually attract 'cool' friends.
i really never cared whether my friend is 'cool' or a 'geek'. maybe that's the reason i am able to build strong and bonding relationships with my (boy/girl) friends

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

Unis just as hard to make friends as school, i should know, I've had no decent friends at school and only two good friends at uni. Don't kid yourself that its going to be any different than school. Theres still a social hierachy, people still look down on me, some times I just feel like giving up. Good luck anyway.

Reply 16

demonbuttercup

1

I went on an open day today and was chatting to a politics lecturer and he said that often the people you meet in the queue when you're signing in on the first day become your best friends. Everyone is in the same situation; no one has friends, everyone wants to make friends and so everyone will be dying to be your friend! This is the first time in my life that I'm actually not worried about meeting people!! It'll be fine, seriously :smile:

Reply 17

podder

1

if you only end up with geeky friends maybe thats saying something about your personality yourself. dont try and get cool friends just because you want to be in the cool group! just be friends with people you feel at ease with and can be yourself around

Reply 18

Love_Hearts

9

I went on an open day today and was chatting to a politics lecturer and he said that often the people you meet in the queue when you're signing in on the first day become your best friends.

yup thats true. i meet a girl when waiting to pick up some leaflets about our course and shes now one my closest friends here - and were living together next year.
another good thing about uni is the diverse amount of people you meet. ive got friends from a variety of differnt backgrounds and from all over the UK and even in some cases parts of the world.

Reply 19

TheWildChild

11

if you're gonna be living in halls, then its p1ss easy to make mates!

Absolutley dreading it!!!!

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